


The Fortunate Accident

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-22
Updated: 2005-12-23
Packaged: 2019-01-19 16:38:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 58,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12413931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Lily returns home after a less than perfect seventh year to receive an even worse coming of age surprise. Suddenly, she's on her own, with the exception of a new friend, and not quite sure how to deal with her new adult life.





	1. A Very Bad Start

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

  
Author's notes: 1  


* * *

**Author’s Note** : Expanding, finally! This story has been in progress at fanfiction.net for many months now, and is (finally!) nearing its end. I’ve revised the prologue and the first few chapters since the story’s first posting. They needed it, trust me. Enjoy! 

**Dedications** : Mwahaha. (This is sort of a running joke--a feeble one at that--from my last story. Don’t worry--you’ll catch on.)

Whoever the hell gave me this idea, probably my muse: Thank ya. 

**Prologue** : A Very Bad Start

The pungent smell of smoke clogged Lily’s nostrils and with a cough she awoke, waving her hand in front of her face to brush away the incoming clouds. Frightened by the sound of a distant scream and the streams of thick smoke pouring into her bedroom, she threw the covers off her, snatched the thin wooden wand from her night stand, and muttered a few words to clear the hallway and her bedroom of the toxic smog. Her older sister, Petunia, stumbled from her bedroom into the hall, coughing. After a quick look down the staircase to the kitchen, where more thick smoke laced the air, she gaped wide-eyed at Lily and warbled, 

“What the _fuck_ is going on?”� 

Rather than responding, Lily tightened her grip on her wand, brushed past Petunia to the staircase leading to the upper level, and jumped the stairs three at a time. Searing heat met her and she hopped backward, nearly falling over Petunia. 

Instinctively, she thrusted the wand in her sister’s direction. 

“Don’t you point that thing at me!”� snapped Petunia, and with a glare Lily brushed off her pajamas and made for the staircase again. 

Flames consumed the door to her parents’ bedroom. Beads of sweat ran down her forehead and she trembled with anxiety, holding her wand out before her. She wondered if her parents were still alive. No noise other than the crackling of flames came from their bedroom.

“Do something, you idiot!”� screamed Petunia from below. She sounded tearful.

A tear slipped from Lily’s own eye. “ _Exstinguo_!”� she choked out. “ _EXSTINGUO_!”� 

Jets of extinguishing fluid shot from the tip of her wand and piled on top of the flames. They died down almost instantly and the atmosphere grew quiet. The sisters stood silently for a moment and stared fearfully at the large black burns on the charred door and ceiling. 

Lily felt a hand on her back, urging her forward, and she stepped up the last few stairs to the only room on the third floor, where her feet squished in the bubbling remains of the extinguishing fluid. 

“Open the door,”� whispered Petunia, adopting sepulchral tones. 

Lily’s fingers closed around the door knob but, gasping, she released it instantly. 

“My hand!”� she cried, nursing the fresh wound. “The knob’s hot!”� 

Petunia stepped up beside Lily and kicked the door open with her foot. It swung inward, creaking as it always had, and revealed the massacred site of their parents’ bedroom. It was almost nothing but ashes. The beams from the roof were visible and several hung at odd angles, ready to fall. Most of the ceiling had been burned away; the darkness fell through the gaping hole, making their situation ten times more frightening. Their only light came from a few remaining embers scattered on the floor. The bed had been reduced to ashes and twisted metal. The dresser was a heap of ashes. Their mother’s hat collection, which had formerly adorned the walls, was now a collection of ashes. Their father’s golf bag was now, also, a pile of ashes and twisted metal. And the owners of the former hat collection, golf bag, dresser, bed and room appeared to have collapsed into ashes as well. 

Forgetting the pain in her hand, Lily entered the room, walking only on the ash-free sections of floor and stopped in the center of the room. She paused before looking upward. 

‘ _Not them_ ,’ she thought pleadingly. ‘ _Let it have been anyone but them_. _It’ll be all my fault_.’ 

When she finally looked up she cried out in surprise; the taunting skull of the Dark Mark grinned back at her. 

“What is it?”� asked Petunia, trembling, pale as a ghost. 

Lily backed against one of the fire-marked walls, shaking and breathing heavily. Though she was well aware the Death Eaters prayed on Muggle-borns and their families, she never expected to be one of their victims. She forced down a sob, feeling stupid and naÃ¯ve, as she remembered her sister’s question. She pointed toward the hole in the ceiling. 

Petunia crossed the room and stared upward. “What is that thing? What does it mean?”� Her hands found their perches on her hips and she stared over at Lily like a mother to a disobedient child, as though she had been the one who set the house on fire. 

“It’s the Dark Mark,”� said Lily, barely managing to speak. “It’s the symbol of the people who did this.”� 

Petunia’s mouth opened and closed several times. Lily suspected she’d been waiting to corroborate her belief that the whole ordeal was her fault. Her older sister’s eyes gleamed with tears.

“I knew it!”� she said, trying to yell through her tears. “ _Wizards_! It’s your fault they came here! It’s your fault Mum and Dad are dead and it’s your fault they can’t see my baby or my wedding!”� 

Petunia’s hand clutched her abdomen, which was completely flat. Petunia was only one month pregnant, a secret both girls had kept from their parents. She was due to marry the father, a man Lily thought to be a boorish brute and a slimeball, in three weeks. 

Lily was not at all surprised to hear her sister’s accusations. Over the last seven years she had grown accustomed to them. Ever since she received her Hogwarts letter seven summers ago, everything bad that happened in the Evans household was Lily’s fault, according to Petunia. 

The older girl stepped toward her, avoiding the ashes. Lily backed toward the doorway, afraid of the look in Petunia’s eyes. Before she knew what was happening, her wand was in her angry sister’s fist, directed toward its owner. Lily stood rigid in the doorway, terrified of what her sister might try to do with it. 

“I hate you,”� she snarled, wiping the wetness from her eyes. “For years I’ve hated you. Now you’ve killed off our parents and they’re not around to save you. I can finally--”� 

She didn’t get to finish her sentence. A jet of magic shot from the end of Lily’s wand, hitting Petunia square in the chest. Looking back on the incident, Lily thought--for a second or two--that the spell had hit her, because at the same time a force collided with her chest as well, sending her toppling backward down the staircase. 

That force was Petunia’s fist. The back of Lily’s head smacked against the railing and the sound of sirens in the distance was the last thing that reached her ears before she blacked out. 

O O O


	2. Can't Stay Here

**Dedications** : ¡Dedicaré! 

JKR--She created this wonderful series, did she not? 

**Chapter 1** : Can’t Stay Here 

Lily awoke to another shock. She wasn’t in her own bed, on the floor where she had fallen, or even in her own house. A small yapping dog hopped on the bed and licked her face. Lily shrieked and it bolted away. A heavyset, graying woman dressed in floral pajamas appeared in the doorway. 

“Mrs. Manila?”� said Lily, surprised. Mrs. Manila lived across the street. She and Lily had barely spoken before. “Why am I here?”� 

The woman sat on the bed, wobbling it. Her expression was pitying. “My dear, you had nowhere else to go.”� Lily’s forehead crinkled in confusion. “After the fire department cleaned up, your sister told them to get you out of her house. Not very sisterly at all,”� she added disapprovingly. “But it _is_ her house now, and if she desires you gone, there’s nothing anyone can do.”� 

“Pardon,”� said Lily defensively, “but what do you mean ‘it’s her house now’? It’s just as much mine as hers.”� 

Again, she pitied her. “Not anymore. Your parents’ will left the house to Petunia. Everything’s explained in that letter.”� She indicated a white envelope on the bedside table and rose to depart, rattling the mattress again. 

In the doorway she stopped and turned back toward Lily. “I almost forgot. Your sister sent a bag of your things and a box your parents left you. Also”�--her forehead crinkled--“an odd stick. She seemed rather frightened of it.”� 

Her neighbor steepled an eyebrow. Lily could tell she wanted an explanation. 

“Oh, that old thing?”� She forced a laugh. “It’s the only bit I have left of our old tree house. It’s very...special to me. Petunia fell from it once; that’s why she was scared.”� 

Mrs. Manila gave her a skeptical look. “Well, everything’s by the closet,”� she said awkwardly, and left the room. 

Lily got the impression Mrs. Manila thought her a bit disturbed. 

She seized the letter the second the door shut and tore open the envelope. She read: 

_Dear Lily, If you are reading this, we are no longer with you. First and foremost we would like to say that we love you very much and hope that your future brings you success and happiness._

_I can’t keep this information from you anymore; your headmaster wrote us a week ago about what that boy, Lucius Malfoy, did to you. As you read this it has been far longer than a week and you probably want to know why nobody mentioned the incident earlier. When you return home in July, discussing rape, especially with your parents, will be the last thing on your mind. I don’t want to upset you further by forcing you to talk about it with either of us._

_If you decide(d) to come to us this summer (which you will already have done by now) I’m glad you shared your experience and I hope whoever you shared it with helped you. If you decide(d) to keep your secret, know that I wouldn’t have treated or looked at you any differently than I always have. I would have given you all my advice and support._

_Knowing you, my love, if you did not share it with us, you are wishing you had. You are probably aching inside at your lost chance as I am even now, when I have no knowledge of the summer. I wish I could offer you more than I am about to, but without speaking to you I can’t possibly know what to say. Enclosed in a cardboard box in the basement marked ‘Lily’ are all my diaries. I want you to have them. I hope they provide you all the advice, insight and guidance you need. I also hope you get a few laughs out of them. Heaven knows my adolescent ranting was amusing._

_I’ve also enclosed the family photo albums as well as some old family jewelry and trinkets I haven’t touched for years. I also want you to have my personal jewelry and any other things that interest you. Everything precious of mine will be unharmed. The box I keep my things in is fire proof, combination protected and hidden behind a portrait in my bedroom--the one with the lake scene you always admired, and you may have it too if you wish. The combination is my birth date._

_I wish to discuss one more subject. It refers to my previous topic and is the only advice I’m going to insist you read. I understand and agree completely that Lucius Malfoy is a foul creature. But believe me when I say that there are far more good men out there than bad. Not every man you will meet wants to harm you and cause you pain and humiliation. Somewhere out there is a man who will demonstrate this to you and I pray that you will find him. Hopefully, you and I both will have already met this man by the time these words meet your eyes and I will have with me many memories of my beautiful grandchildren._

_And if you’re wondering why we left the house to your sister instead of you, it is because we know that you have higher aspirations than to be stuck in a home in a non-magical neighborhood and we don’t want to burden you with selling it when leaving it to Petunia is much simpler and more practical._

_My letter is winding to its close. I should probably be writing a million other things, but I have covered everything I intended. I’m sorry my letter might be a disappointment and that we didn’t spend more time together. I’m sorry I can’t be there now that you’ve read what you have and you need me the most. I wish there was somebody I could refer you to for similar advice and guidance as I would have given, but unfortunately no such person to whom I am acquainted exists. As I mentioned before, look to my diaries for any additional advice for which you may be looking. Especially the green one, as I was around your age when I wrote it._

_If you set this letter down and you don’t remember anything else I’ve said to you, remember this: I love you and your dad loves you. We’ll be with you always._

_All of our love,  
Your parents _

“No,”� Lily whispered, and a large tear rolled down her cheek. “You won’t be with me always. You’re not now.”� 

She let the letter and its torn envelope fall to the floor. She wished she hadn’t been alone crying in a strange home. She wished she had a friend or a caring sibling nearby to comfort and console her and offer support and advice. 

On a morning like the one on which she read her mother’s letter, solitude was the last thing she needed. But she got it. And in her solitude, her mourning paused long enough to allow her sleep. 

\- - - 

When she awoke hours later, the bedroom was shrouded in darkness. She guessed it was around dinner time. Now calm, she felt her true hunger and decided to leave the bedroom for a while. 

She slipped from underneath the covers and stood, knees shaking after such a long time in bed. She made it to the door and wrapped her fingers around the cool knob, but a voice stopped her from leaving the room. 

“And you felt it was your responsibility to take her in?”� said an annoyed sounding man, whom Lily guessed was Mr. Manila. A cold shiver trickled through Lily’s body, the feeling she got whenever she heard herself being talked about. She opened the door a crack to hear the conversation better. 

“She has nowhere else to live, Roger!”� trilled Mrs. Manila. “What was I supposed to do? Let them dump her in an orphanage?”� 

“She is _not our child_ ,”� said Mr. Manila firmly. “That is _precisely_ what you should have done; let someone else deal with her. We don’t need to spend even more money monthly--we’ve already got your Home Shopping Network addiction to pay for--and have to deal with the drunken teenaged boys she’ll undoubtedly bring to our home.”� 

Though she wasn’t involved--directly--in the conflict and knew that Mr. Manila couldn’t see her, Lily shook her head. Bringing home boys was one of the last things on her mind. 

“But she’s away at boarding school for most of the year!”� protested Mrs. Manila. “You won’t have to worry about--”� 

“ _She is not staying here_ ,”� clipped Mr. Manila in such harsh tones that Lily, even from her position behind the door, felt frightened. 

Apparently, he had frightened Mrs. Manila as well, or she had realized that her attempts were futile, because she said nothing more. 

Lily remained behind the door for a few minutes, during which she only heard the television set and the faint clicking of silverware and dishes being laid out. When she was certain that the table was fully set, she rose and walked into the living room, making sure her face gave the impression she hadn’t heard the quarrel. 

Mr. and Mrs. Manila were sifting through the kitchen cabinets. Lily’s eyes fell on the large table and she felt even hungrier. Bowls of gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans and macaroni surrounded a plump roasted chicken. 

Mrs. Manila’s head appeared from behind a cabinet door. She held a tea bag. 

“Lily! There you are. I was just about to fetch you.”� She dangled the bag by its string. “I just need a moment to whip up some tea for our supper.”� She swiped an empty plastic pitcher from the dish rack and filled it with water. 

“Do you like your tea hot or cold, dear?”� 

Lily glanced at grumpy-looking Mr. Manila. “H-however you like it. I don’t mind.”� 

“Rightio. Take a seat then, Lily.”� 

Lily chose a seat on the side of the table, avoiding the heads because she assumed those were the Manilas’ seats. Once the tea was ready--hot--Mrs. Manila waddled over to the table and poured some into each of their glasses. Lily had been right about their seats; Mrs. Manila, like her husband, took a place at the head of the table. 

“Would you like me to fix your plate, Lily?”� offered Mrs. Manila. 

“Yes, please,”� she replied, and placed her empty plate in her host’s outstretched hand. 

From over the rim of his mug, Mr. Manila watched Lily with distrust. 

“So where do you go to school?”� he grunted. Lily’s plate was handed back to her and she uttered a ‘thank you’. Lily racked her brain for a quick lie. 

“A place called Durmstrang.”� She didn’t want to slip up and accidentally incriminate Hogwarts. Lily despised Durmstrang. She also didn’t know the names of any secondary schools around Little Whinging. 

“Durmstrang?”� he parroted, brow furrowed. “Never heard of it. What do they teach there?”� 

“Oh, you know,”� she said, sounding more fake by the second, “the usual. Reading. Writing. Arithmetic.”� The cold feeling traveled through her again. Her reply sounded unintentionally sarcastic. 

He harrumphed into the mug he had raised to his lips. “You’ll be headed back there soon, won’t you?”� he asked. “September first’s flying toward us.”� 

Lily cleared her throat and set her glass down. “Actually, I’m finished with Durmstrang. Last year was my seventh and final.”� 

“You’re going to college then?”� 

Lily’s convincing expression faltered. “Actually, er...”� Mr. Manila’s eyes burned into hers. “At Durmstrang they...I’m taking some time off,”� she finished lamely, feeling embarrassed. How could she have explained that she was a witch and there were no colleges for witches? Though, she hadn’t lied about wanting to take some time off. Lily wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do with her life. 

“Time off, eh?”� he mumbled, stabbing at his chicken. “What’re you doing that for?”� Mr. Manila made Lily nervous. She was already distraught enough; she didn’t need someone criticizing her life choices. 

“I just need some time to figure out what I want to do,”� said Lily, hoping to change the subject. Mrs. Manila obviously wanted a subject change as well, because she quickly spoke up. 

“Does anybody need more potatoes? No?”� She set the bowl back down. “So, Lily...”� she began awkwardly, “do you have a boyfriend?”� 

“Oh, no!”� Lily exclaimed, and instantly realized that she sounded prudish. “But, erm, it’s only because”�--halfway through her sentence she decided to keep her true reason to herself, and chose the most truthful substitution with which she could come up--“I’m not interested in boys anymore.”� 

Mr. Manila raised his eyebrows. “Are you a lesbian?”� 

“Roger!”� shrieked Mrs. Manila. 

He smirked. “I’m just trying to make conversation.”� 

“That was no way to go about it!”� She turned toward Lily, who was almost in tears. “I’m sorry, Lily, dear. He didn’t mean anything by it.”� 

Lily only nodded, fearful that if she tried to speak, she’d break down. They ate the rest of the meal in silence and Lily kept her head down to avoid Mr. Manila’s stare. 

As soon as she cleared her plate, Lily excused herself to the bedroom, wishing that she had never dared to leave it. She had planned to go straight back to sleep, but another angry conversation drifted in through the parted door. 

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”� demanded Mrs. Manila, and Lily could almost picture her double chin wobbling in fury. “You just _had_ to make her feel unwelcome!”� 

“At least she won’t be too disappointed in the morning,”� he said carelessly, “when she leaves.”� 

His wife growled, “I don’t know why you have _such_ an aversion to children! We couldn’t even have any of our own and now that one has come along, you’ve insulted her! Lily is a perfectly respectable, polite girl. Why can’t she stay?”� 

“She isn’t the child you want,”� said Mr. Manila. “She’s nearly a woman. I don’t want you getting too attached. She’d be gone in a few months even if we let her stay.”� 

“I’m never going to have a child,”� she puled, and Lily felt sorry for her. If Mr. Manila hadn’t been so rude, she would have been happy to stay in their home. 

Mr. Manila, on the other hand, would offer his heartbroken wife no sympathy. “She’s going in the morning. You either find her another place to go or it’s the city orphanage for her.”� 

Lily’s eyes grew wide and filled with tears. ‘ _The city orphanage_?’ she thought fearfully, ‘ _I can’t go there!_ ’ 

“I cannot _believe_ you!”� cried Mrs. Manila. “The city _orphanage_? How could you even _dream_ of sending her there?”� 

“Have you got any better ideas?”� he asked, then added, “Other than keeping her here?”� 

Lily prayed she did. Mrs. Manila paused to think before giving her answer. “No, I don’t have any ideas.”� 

Lily felt her arms begin to tremble. “Then tell her to pack her things. You can take her in the morning,”� he said. 

Lily couldn’t help the torrent of tears that overcame her. Being an orphan, with grief fresh and painful inside her, and having her hateful older sister throw her out were bad enough. But to have to live at the city orphanage, a place Lily definitely didn’t belong, was unbearable. She realized that her sobs must have carried into the next room and she clapped her hand over her mouth. She heard footsteps coming toward the bedroom and scrambled into bed. 

As she tried to calm her breathing, the light flicked on overhead. 

“Lily?”� said Mrs. Manila tentatively. She pushed the door shut. Lily didn’t move. “Stop pretending to be asleep. I heard you crying. What’s the matter?”� 

Lily wiped her eyes and sat up, blinking rapidly to adjust to the glare. “I was thinking about my mother,”� she lied. 

“At the exact moment Roger and I were arguing about you?”� She arched her eyebrows. “I know you heard us.”� 

Lily hung her head, feeling another wave of tears coming on. Mrs. Manila wrapped her arm around Lily. 

“There was--”� began Mrs. Manila. 

Lily moved the woman’s arm and tried with all her might not to sob. “Like you said; I heard you. I know you defended me.”� Her tone was harsher than she’d meant it, but Mrs. Manila excused it. “I would like to leave now,”� she continued. “I don’t want to say why.”� 

Truthfully, she wanted to get it over with. Mr. Manila’s words weighed on her mind. She _didn’t_ want to be disappointed in the morning. After a good sleep, going to the orphanage would be much worse than if she went while she was still feeling terrible. Why heal partially only to hurt yourself again? she reckoned. 

Mrs. Manila had not been expecting this. “All...all right, Lily. If you’re sure....”� 

Lily nodded. 

“Are you sure you don’t have anywhere else to stay?”� 

“I’m sure.”� Her grandparents had died years ago and she’d lost contact with all of her formerly close Muggle friends. 

“Pack your things then, dear.”� 

O O O


	3. A Glimpse of the Past

**Dedications** : Let’s honor the worthy! 

My loverly muse: You are the _best_. 

Erika (Ricky): For pushing me to update sooner. 

Telwyn: She’ll be jealous Ricky got one and not her too. 

Babyjayy: You surely deserve one by now. 

**Chapter 2** : A Glimpse of the Past 

There is no point in me describing the way Lily packed her things, because she packed much in the same boring way everyone else packs and to pen such boring words would just be a waste of space. 

So I won’t mention the dull way she stuffed her mother’s letter back into its envelope, or the uninteresting task of emptying the contents of the cardboard box her mother left her into her large duffel bag. Nor will I touch upon the monotonous subject of changing one’s clothes or how Lily went about it. Because if I did, you would all probably die of boredom and I can’t have that on my conscience. 

After Lily’s unmentionable packing routine, Mrs. Manila stepped back into the room, shoes and a light sweater added to her pajamas, and said, “Are you ready to go?”� with such forced casualty that Lily almost dropped her bag and cried right there. 

But she refused to. “Yes,”� she replied, and re-positioned the bag on her shoulder. 

With a nod, the older woman led the way from the room. Lily took in her surroundings voraciously. She didn’t want to forget any detail of the Manilas’ home even though her stay there hadn’t been entirely pleasant. 

The warmth of the summer night engulfed her, a comfort. She inhaled deeply, letting the feeling trickle through her. Summer nights had always been soothing to her. The reality of her situation slapped her in the face when Mrs. Manila called her from her daze to put her bag in the trunk. The same depressed, nauseous feeling she’d had all day flooded her and without a word she did as the woman asked and set into the passenger seat of the car. 

Cool air streamed into her face as Mrs. Manila started up the car and they backed out of the driveway, brushing a garbage can on their way. It wasn’t a long drive to the orphanage. Privet Drive was only seven minutes by car from the downtown area. It seemed much shorter to Lily, though, who dreaded her arrival. She had no idea what she was going to do to get out of the orphanage in the morning or what she’d do even if she managed to escape unseen. 

“What did your mother’s letter say?”� interjected Mrs. Manila on her thoughts. 

“Just told me where she put something else she left for me,”� said Lily, staring down at her feet. 

“If you’d like, I could bring it for you in the morning, whatever it is,”� offered Mrs. Manila. “I’ll just need its location.”� 

Lily blushed at her kindness. “Oh, you don’t have to.”� 

“I insist!”� she said. “It’s the least I can do.”� 

Indisposed, Lily agreed. She didn’t like feeling a burden. “It’s a box of my mother’s jewelry. It’s in her bedroom behind a portrait of a lake. The combination to the safe is 09-17-42.”� 

Mrs. Manila turned to smile at her. “I’ll drop it off first thing in the morning.”� 

Moments later the car stopped in front of the stoop to a tall brick building labeled “Little Whinging City Orphanage.”� Mrs. Manila got out to open the trunk and help her with her bag. She stood staring at Lily with a faint smile and a wistful expression before muttering “I almost forgot!”� and rushing to the driver’s seat to recover her purse. She rustled through it and withdrew two crisp, twenty-pound notes. 

“I can’t take your money.”� Lily stepped backward. 

“You must, Lily,”� ordered Mrs. Manila. “I won’t leave you with nothing.”� 

Lily shook her head. 

Mrs. Manila shrugged. “I have all night to stand here, and so do you. Neither one of us will move until you take it.”� 

“Mrs. Manila!”� whined Lily. “You can’t!”� 

She held the money out. “Take it, then.”� 

Part of her wanted to take Mrs. Manila up on her word and wait it out all night, mostly because she didn’t want her to leave her alone at the orphanage. She felt like she had on the first day of kindergarten when she was frightened to let go of her mother’s hand and play with the other children. She decided against waiting it out, however, and took the money; she felt she had to be brave and face what lay ahead, even if she didn’t want to. 

“Let’s knock on the door,”� said Mrs. Manila, hastening her forward with a tap on the back. 

Lily eyed her over her shoulder. “You’re coming inside?”� 

“Of course! Did you think I’d leave you alone on a stoop late at night?”� 

Lily shrugged. “I don’t know what to expect anymore.”� 

Mrs. Manila said nothing. She knocked on twice on the door. Half a minute later, the door swung open, revealing an elderly, tired-looking woman. She yawned and said, 

“How can I help you two?”� 

Mrs. Manila cleared her throat. “I’m here to....”� Her watering eyes gestured to Lily. The woman nodded and opened the door wider, inviting them in. They entered a large room dimmed for slumber. Several wooden desks along with waiting room style chairs occupied the room and the name Coosje Vermaat adorned the plaque that sat upon the nearest desk. 

“Dear,”� said the elderly woman Lily assumed was Coosje Vermaat, “I’ll sort this out with your mum. You can go to bed. Down that hall”�--she indicated the hall to Lily’s left--“is the girls’ dormitory. Make yourself comfortable.”� 

She wanted to correct Mrs. Vermaat’s assumption because she seemed to be subtly giving Mrs. Manila a guilt trip, but instead she nodded and went down the hall, her bag bouncing against her thigh as she walked. 

The girls’ dormitory reminded her of ones at a typical summer sleep away camp. Bunks piled in threes lined all four walls. Toys, art supplies and games littered the center of the room and Lily used the clear spaces of floor to navigate the room, searching for an empty bunk. Eventually she found one near the back of the room tucked between another vacant bed and one holding a small dark-haired girl who seemed to be asleep. 

She swung her bag up onto the bed and climbed the ladder. Because she spent the entire day sleeping, Lily didn’t feel the least bit tired. Remembering her mother’s diaries, she unzipped her bag and rummaged through it, trying to find a diary from her mother’s early years. Her mother promised a laugh from them, exactly what she needed that night. 

While at times the contents of Mrs. Evans’s diary entertained her, reading it--for the most part--only made her miss her parents more. Each time one of her mother’s stories brought a smile to her face, tears welled up in her eyes simultaneously. Oh, how lovely it would be, she thought, to hear these stories from Mrs. Evans herself! A thousand times she scolded herself that night for staying at Hogwarts over the holidays the past year, for keeping her dreadful secret from her mother, for going to Hogwarts at all. 

Lily’s frustration soon overtook her and she dug into her bag for her wand. She glared at it, laying in her palm, and pitched it to the floor. Then she buried herself within the thin blanket on her bed and began to cry. Vaguely she wondered how the table of her life had taken such a turn for the worse. 

Even minutes before the December night Lucius Malfoy started her misery, she thought things were going extraordinarily well. Her marks were excellent, she had finally achieved a balance between homework and Prefect duties, and the prospect of a Hogsmeade date hung in the air. Since her fifth year at Hogwarts James Potter had taken to asking her out from time to time. At first she didn’t even consider his offers; she had no interest in pretentious, pugnacious show-offs. But after it was pointed out to him that those qualities were the reasons Lily always turned him down, his behavior made a slow progress to that of a gentleman. 

Instead of trying to impress her with his ‘mad tormenting skills’ he struck up conversations. The first proved to be awkward and brief, but with time they got the hang of it and Lily could actually bear being in the same room with him. 

Next came the offer of Quidditch matches, the only other idea of which he could think. Lily groaned inwardly when he first brought them up; she and Quidditch weren’t exactly old mates. She struggled through the first one, which lasted three torturous hours. (“Why doesn’t he just invite _Snape_ to get back at him?”� she had mentioned to a friend.) She forced a grin at the end of the match (Gryffindor victory) when James turned up outside of the boys’ locker room; she hadn’t wanted to be rude to her new friend. The game became less agonizing after a couple matches more. Lily began to find the game fascinating. The rules, the terminology, the amazing effect achieved when a team worked as one. 

By the time of the sixth game, Lily waited eagerly for James’s invitation. It came, but unfortunately so did a hailstorm. And even hardy Quidditch players wouldn’t fly in hail. 

The night of the canceled match and the night of the rape were one and the same. Lily always suspected James’s comment to Malfoy played the main role in her rape. He did it to hurt James indirectly. Trouble was, James never found out. 

Lily and James dined together at the dinner table that night, and Malfoy, being Malfoy, couldn’t resist an opportunity to make a snide remark. 

“Pity the match was canceled,”� he had said. “Now your Mudblood girlfriend can’t cheer you on.”� 

“It’s more of a pity we can’t get the last match of the season over with and flaunt the House Cup for the... _eighth_ year in a row now? And,”� he added, “Lily may not be a pure-blooded witch, but she’s certainly more pure in _other ways_ than _your_ girlfriend.”� James signaled Narcissa Black, whose hand was slowly making its way up the leg of a good-looking boy over at the Slytherin table. He smirked; Lucius stormed off in a rage. 

From the moment James defended her, Lily knew she would accept his offer next time he worked up his courage to ask her out. He was definitely worth her time. Much to her pleasure, James played his old game near the end of dinner. 

“Evans,”� he’d muttered, blushing in her presence for the first time, “I haven’t asked this question for a long time and since we’ve become well... _friends_ now, I’ve even more reason to.”� Lily discovered herself blushing as well. “Will you go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?”� 

Lily contained her excitement. She didn’t want to give him too eager an answer and come off desperate, or too casual an answer and let him know that she’d been expecting his question. The answer she gave him, however, she wished she could change. 

“I’ll think about it, James,”� she answered coyly. “And I’ll give you my answer at breakfast tomorrow.”� She rose from the bench, a slight smile on her face. 

James looked surprised and relieved he hadn’t received a rejection on the spot. “Sure...think as long as you need to.”� He smiled. 

Lily would always beat herself up over not accepting him on the spot. If she had, James would have walked with her to the Gryffindor Common Room. If she had, she wouldn’t have been alone, a target. If she had, she wouldn’t have been raped. But she didn’t accept him on the spot. She didn’t accept him at all. By the time she made her mind up completely, it was too late. She already bore her scars--both physical and mental--and her fear of men. So, undecided about who would accompany her to Hogsmeade the next day, she set off for the Gryffindor Tower alone. 

Present-day Lily rolled over in her bed, escaping the memory, and stared at the floor, wiping stray tears that trickled down her cheeks. Sounds of movement came from below; a dark head popped up in front of Lily’s, startling her. 

“Why are you crying?”� asked the small girl. She couldn’t have been more than five or six, by the looks of her. 

“No reason,”� muttered Lily. 

“You aren’t crying for nothing,”� conceded the girl. “Something is bothering you. What is it? Are you sad because your family left you here?”� 

“My family,”� said Lily angrily, “would _not_ leave me here.”� 

The girl pulled herself into Lily’s bunk and sat beside her. “Who left you here, then?”� 

“My neighbor.”� Lily picked absently at the chipped paint on the wall. 

“Why?”� 

“Because her husband didn’t want me in their house,”� said Lily. She hoped this would silence the girl. 

“Why didn’t you just go back to your house?”� asked the girl. “You didn’t have to come here.”� 

“I don’t have a house,”� said Lily flatly. 

“You don’t have a _house_?”� said the girl incredulously. “Where did you live before the orphanage?”� 

“Well, I _used_ to have a house,”� amended Lily, “but it’s my sister’s now. My parents left it to her.”� 

“Where are your parents?”� 

Lily hesitated before speaking. “Dead.”� 

The girl bowed her head. “Oh. I’m sorry. My parents are dead too. Well...my mother is. I don’t know where my Daddy went.”� 

“What do you mean?”� asked Lily. “Why did he leave?”� 

“He didn’t _want_ to,”� clarified the girl, “but my mother made him.”� 

“Why would she do that?”� 

“She didn’t want to be married to him anymore; she said he was crazy,”� explained the girl. 

“How was he crazy?”� 

“He said”�--she giggled--“that he’s a _wizard_. Isn’t that silly?”� The girl kept giggling, hoping Lily would join her in what she obviously thought was a very amusing joke. 

Lily grew uncomfortably warm. Her wand caught her eye, scrambled with dislodged puzzle pieces. 

“Do _you_ believe in witches and wizards?”� asked the girl abruptly. 

“Well,”� began Lily, choosing her words carefully, “don’t _you_ think it’s silly to believe that there’s no possibility of them existing?”� 

“What does possibility mean?”� 

“It means: I think it’s silly for someone to believe there can’t be witches and wizards on earth.”� 

“But _everyone_ says they’re not real,”� said the child. 

“You shouldn’t believe something only because it’s the popular view,”� admonished Lily. 

“Have you _seen_ witches and wizards before?”� demanded the girl. 

Lily paused before responding. “What would you say if I told you I have?”� 

The girl’s eyes grew wide. “I’d say: where?”� 

Lily laughed. “Everywhere. You can probably find a few in every city in the world.”� 

“Really?”� gasped the child. “Do you _know_ any?”� 

“A...few,”� understated Lily. She arched her legs and turned so her back rested against the wall. 

“What are they like? Where did you meet them? Can I meet them too?”� gushed the girl. Her eyes shone with a hungry excitement. 

“They’re just like Mug--regular people,”� replied Lily. “I met them in Scotland, and you’ve already met one.”� 

“I _have_?”� exclaimed the girl. “How do you know? Who was it?”� She leaned slightly forward, hanging on Lily’s every word. 

What harm was there in telling the child? After all, no one would believe her if she tried spreading the news. “Me,”� said Lily, hopping over the side of the bed. She snatched up her wand and climbed the ladder to her bunk again. She didn’t want to forget about it and risk an unpleasant scene in the morning. “But you can’t tell _anyone_ in the orphanage. You can’t tell anyone at all.”� 

“Why not?”� 

“Because they might put me away in an asylum or try and hang me or something similar. Most people don’t like witches and wizards.”� 

“Oh.”� The girl seemed deeply saddened by these words. Lily guessed it had something to do with her father. “What’s your name?”� 

“Lily Evans.”� 

“I’m Dinah Elamain,”� said Dinah. 

“Dinah is a pretty name,”� said Lily, smiling. “It’s Biblical, you know.”� 

“Biblical?”� questioned Dinah. 

“From the Bible,”� Lily defined. “My mother used to read passages to me when I was little.”� 

“Lily?”� said Dinah. “Will you show me some magic?”� 

Lily slapped her wand into her palm. “I can’t do anything big. Someone might see or wake up.”� 

“Do something little, then. I don’t mind.”� She clasped her hands in her lap and smiled expectantly at Lily. 

“All right, Dinah. But just this once. _Lumos_!”� The end of her wand brought light to the dark room. “ _Nox_!”� she whispered hurriedly. The room darkened again. 

“Wow!”� whispered Dinah in awe. “How did you learn to do that?”� Can anyone be a witch?”� 

“No, not everyone can be a witch. You have to be born magical. And I learned at Hogwarts, a magical school.”� 

“Am I a witch?”� asked Dinah. “Since my Daddy said he’s a wizard?”� Part of her appeared to want an affirmative response, but Lily saw fear mingled with her eagerness. She probably worried someone would get rid of her, like people had gotten rid of Lily and her father, the only magical folk of whom she knew. 

“You might be,”� said Lily. “But because your parents aren’t here to tell you, you won’t find out for sure until you turn eleven; that’s when Hogwarts will send you your letter.”� 

“Will I get a wand too?”� asked Dinah eagerly. The prospect of having magical powers brushed away her worries. 

“Of course you will,”� said Lily, chortling. “All witches and wizards use wands.”� 

Dinah’s avidity and wide grin alleviated Lily’s sorrow. She joined the child in her happiness. 

“What else can witches do?”� asked Dinah. Her bright blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight. 

“Lots of things,”� said Lily with a slight smile. “Probably anything you can think of.”� 

“Bring dead people back?”� volunteered Dinah. Lily’s feeling of happiness flooded from her. 

“No, actually. That we can’t do.”� 

“Good,”� mumbled Dinah. “I don’t want my mother to come back.”� 

“She wasn’t good to you?”� asked Lily in surprise. 

“ _No_. She always hit me and she did drugs. The drugs killed her.”� Some of Lily’s old Muggle friends had gotten involved with drugs. Her neighbor from down the street was once so high she nearly jumped off her roof into the grass, thinking she was diving into a pool. 

“When did she die?”� 

“A month ago. I have to stay here until my new mother comes to adopt me.”� She eyed Lily, sizing her up. “You’re too big to have a new mother. You could _be_ a mother.”� 

“I won’t be here long,”� Lily said. “When I turn eighteen I’m allowed to go and buy a house and start my own life.”� She didn’t bother pondering yet how she would manage this with virtually no money. 

“When do you turn eighteen?”� 

“November ninth.”� 

“Good,”� said Dinah, relieved. “That’s a long time away. I don’t want you to leave any time soon.”� She scooted close to Lily, who felt warm inside at the child’s affection. Since she didn’t want to disappoint her only friend, she kept her plans of sneaking away to herself. 

“Even if I leave before you, you won’t be alone. A nice family will take you home and you’ll be their baby.”� She forced a smile. On some level, she was jealous of Dinah’s happy future. 

Dinah shifted herself into Lily’s lap and covered them with the blanket. “I don’t want a new mother,”� she whimpered. “What if my new one is as bad as my old one?”� 

“She won’t be,”� whispered Lily, cuddling her. “She’ll be very kind and she’ll read you books, tuck you in at night, and love you very much.”� 

“Will you tuck me in, Lily?”� asked Dinah, tilting her head backward to look at her. 

Lily kissed her cheek. “Of course I will.”� She started to get up. 

“Where are you going?”� said Dinah, as Lily jostled her about with her movements. 

“We have to climb down the ladder to your bed if I’m going to tuck you in,”� replied Lily. 

“I don’t want to sleep in my bed,”� quavered Dinah, shifting close to Lily again. “I get scared when I sleep alone. Can I sleep in your bed tonight? You’re a witch; you can scare the monsters away.”� 

Lily empathized with Dinah’s fears. Some of her allowance may have come from Dinah’s confidence in her, as well. She wished she really could scare monsters away. “Okay...but just for tonight.”� 

Dinah smiled and laid down beside Lily. “You’re the first friend I’ve ever had,”� she said. “Nobody else talks to me here.”� 

“You don’t have to worry about being alone anymore,”� Lily assured her. “I’ll always talk to you.”� 

Dinah smiled again and snuggled close to Lily. “Good night.”� 

“Good night, Dinah.”� 

Lily took delight in having a new friend and noted how playing mother to her lessened the pain of recent events. She even tested it, trying to summon her depression. It, stubbornly, refused to surface. 

‘ _Staying here might not be as bad as I thought_ ,’ she mused. 

And she drifted off to sleep, peaceful for the first time since the fire. 

O O O


	4. Running Away and Telling Tales

**Author’s Note** : I can’t believe I wrote the majority of this chapter in two days. Over ten pages, front and back in my notebook in two days! And most of the days were spent on other things, too! Am pleased with self. 

**Dedications** : To make my Ricky feel better!

Ricky: Whose nine pages of fiction were murdered by the evil computer virus.

**Chapter 3** : Running Away and Telling Tales

“Lily! Lily!”� chirped Dinah, shaking her shoulders early the next morning. Lily groaned and pulled the blanket over her head. 

“Need sleep. Go,”� she mumbled, stretching her legs and turning on her side. 

The mattress shook and sunk near her feet. “But I have something to show you!”� insisted Dinah, and she snatched the covers from her friend. Lily scowled, but humored the child and sat up. Whatever she had was obviously hidden behind her back. 

“What’ve you got?”� 

“You mean what have _you_ got,”� corrected Dinah. “It’s a package for _you_.”� 

A package for her? Who would send a package to her? “Hand it over, then,”� said Lily. 

“It’s _heavy_ ,”� grunted Dinah as she lifted the box into Lily’s hands. 

Heavy? She suddenly remembered.

“It’s full of jewelry,”� said Lily. “My mother’s jewelry.”� 

“How do you know?”� Dinah looked like she expected magic. 

Lily smiled and brushed the top of her parcel with her finger. “My neighbor promised to bring it today. She said it would be here first thing in the morning.”� 

“Mrs. Vermaat left it on my bed,”� said Dinah. “It was there when I woke up.”� Lily guessed she’d done that because her bed was crowded, and Dinah’s was the closest available space.

“Well, let’s see what Mum left me,”� muttered Lily, tugging at the cardboard flaps on top of the box. A metal case with a letter taped to the surface lay inside. Lily pulled it off and tore it open. 

_I found this money and brochure in the safe. It was supposed to be your parents’ birthday present to you, and I had to be sure you received it. I slipped a few extra pounds in._

_Mrs. Manila_

Dinah gasped as the bills slid from the envelope. She looked like she’d never seen so much money in her life. 

“Who sent you _that_?”� 

“My neighbors and parents; it’s my birthday present.”� Lily could hardly believe her luck. She was definitely glad of Mrs. Manila’s persistence. 

Dinah took the brochure from the discarded envelope and unfolded it. She raised her eyebrows at a picture of crossed skis. 

“You’re going skiing? I thought you said your birthday is in November?”�

“It _is_ in November,”� said Lily. “But my parents can’t give me my present on my birthday, so my neighbor brought it early when she found it.”� 

“ _Very_ early,”� said Dinah uneasily, but Lily didn’t catch this; a plan was formulating in her head. With the eight-hundred and fifty pounds now in her possession--plus the extra forty Mrs. Manila gave her the night before--Lily could more than sneak away. She could take the vacation her parents planned for her and have money left over to make it on her own--temporarily. 

“Are you going soon?”� asked Dinah, bracing herself for disappointment. 

“I...hope so,”� said Lily, hands trembling slightly in excitement. How fortunate for Mrs. Manila to have found her present! She had only stayed in the orphanage for a matter of hours and already she had her way of escape. Dinah, on the other hand, did not consider the situation fortunate. She just met Lily; it didn’t strike her as fair to have her taken away so soon. 

Lily finally noticed Dinah’s sadness. “Dinah, I...I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I can’t stay here...I....”� she trailed off and hung her head. 

Lily knew that she was Dinah’s only friend. Leaving her to take a pleasure trip would be extremely selfish. But remaining at the orphanage would only worsen Lily’s depression. The bunks in the sleeping quarters were packed; the beds smelled musty, as though the sheets had been stored beneath a bed for years; and she guessed the food wouldn’t be up to par, as well as their outdoor access. Lily hated confinement. But the thought of leaving Dinah to cope with Lily’s loss and the pain of being alone again wrenched her heart. 

“Listen, Dinah,”� said Lily, tapping her shoulder; she had turned to face the wall, hugging her legs. Dinah ignored her. 

“Dinah,”� she repeated. “Please turn around.”� Dinah made several twitching movements; it seemed to take all of her self-control to stay put. The corners of Lily’s mouth twitched; an idea popped into her head. She poked Dinah’s side. A giggle broke the silence of the room the other children had abandoned for breakfast and morning play. Lily followed it with another. Her next laugh was an outburst. 

“You cheated!”�

Lily grinned and pulled her backward into an embrace. 

“I have good news,”� she said. 

“Really? You’re not going?”� A hopeful smile graced her lips. 

“I’m still going,”� said Lily, and Dinah resumed pouting, “but you’re coming with me.”� 

She perked up instantly. 

“I _am_?”� she inhaled. “I’ve never even been out of Little Whinging before! You really want me to come, Lily?”� 

“Of course!”� enthused Lily. “We’ll get to know each other and the trip won’t be so lonely. Did you really think I’d leave you here?”� 

Dinah’s smile disappeared and she shrugged. “I never get too excited about anything. I always end up disappointed. Nobody’s ever been nice to me like you.”�

Lily slung an arm around her shoulders. “Well, get used to it; you’re being treated to a vacation.”�

“My first vacation!”� exclaimed Dinah. A smile as wide as the Mississippi parted her lips. A dangerous question must have entered her mind because the smile faded as quickly as it had come. 

“How will we be able to go? Mrs. Vermaat isn’t going to let us.”� 

“I know that,”� said Lily mischievously. “That’s why we’re not going to bother asking her permission.”�

Dinah’s eyes widened. “We’re running away?”� 

“You could say that,”� said Lily slyly. Her mischievousness must have sprung from her desperation to leave the orphanage. She’d never behaved this way before.

Dinah’s eyes twinkled excitedly. “I’ve never run away before, either.”� 

“There’s a first time for everything,”� said Lily, grinning. “Now pack your things; we’re going to Switzerland.”�

\- - - 

Since Lily hadn’t properly unpacked and Dinah had few possessions to begin with, collecting their things took only a few minutes. 

Lily brought her bag, on which she placed a weightlessness charm after the addition of the jewelry case, down to Dinah’s bunk. Unlike her friend, Lily had many possessions, from outfits and pictures to jewelry boxes and diaries. 

“How are we going to sneak away with these heavy bags?”� asked Dinah, yanking at hers and slumping over in a demonstration of its weight. “We won’t be able to run fast.”� 

“Just because it’s called ‘running away’ doesn’t necessarily mean there’s running involved,”� said Lily, smiling slightly. “But if it makes you feel better...”� She mumbled and tapped Dinah’s backpack with her wand, making it weightless too. Dinah tossed it in the air and caught it, amazed with Lily’s talent. They exchanged grins. 

“Now,”� began Lily, “I need you to show me a place--a window or door, maybe--that isn’t watched by the women who work here.”�

Dinah thought, eyes closed. In a burst of remembrance, they shot open and she jumped onto the floor, snatching the strap of her backpack.

“I know where!”� she cried. Lily stood, gathering her bag on her shoulder. “Come on!”� 

Dinah took her hand and led her past the two last sets of bunks and then down a hallway to their left. On either wall were two doors, one marked “Custodial,”� the other “Toilet.”� Dinah opened the bathroom door and yanked Lily inside. She opened the largest stall and stepped inside; a decent sized window let in the morning light. 

“I was going to ask....”� muttered Lily with a chuckle. 

The window looked easy enough to open. The locks only needed to be undone. And the toilet seat would make an adequate stepping stool, though the girls wished they had a more cleanly alternative. 

Lily let her bag slide to the floor. She stepped on the toilet seat to open the window. A cool breeze blew her hair back. She was glad the window opened up onto an alley, despite a large dumpster in the corner, because the seclusion made for an easier escape. 

“Hand me your backpack,”� said Lily, and Dinah did so. Lily leaned out the window and dropped it as carefully as possible into the alley. They repeated the action with Lily’s duffel bag. 

“Come here,”� urged Lily, beckoning to Dinah. “Your turn.”� 

Dinah shrunk into the corner, shaking her head. “It’s high up,”� she said, “I might fall.”�

“I won’t let you fall,”� promised Lily. “Come on, Dinah.”� She smiled and held her arms out for the child. 

With an anxious expression on her face, Dinah inched toward Lily, who lifted her into a sitting position on the windowsill. Dinah looked down and cringed. 

“You ready?”� asked Lily. 

Dinah shook her head. 

“Oh, it’s not that high; only a few feet. You can do it! I’ll help you.”� 

“O-okay,”� stuttered Dinah. Lily held her underneath her arms and lowered her to the ground with ease. The child put her backpack on again and stared up at Lily, who was sitting on the windowsill. 

“Who’s going to help _you_ down?”� she asked, shielding her eyes from the sun.

“I don’t need help getting down,”� teased Lily. “I’m a big girl.”� Dinah stuck her tongue out at her and Lily hopped to the ground. 

“What about the window?”� questioned Dinah as Lily fixed the strap of her bag on her shoulder. “Are we leaving it open?”� 

“No....”� mumbled Lily, glad the child noticed. “That would be stupid.”� She pushed the two halves of the window in place. 

“Where are we going now? We’re not _walking_ to Switzerland, are we?”� asked Dinah fearfully. 

Lily cocked an eyebrow. “Over three hundred miles and a sea?”� she said. “What do you think?”� 

“Are we taking an airplane, then?”� 

“No. Too expensive,”� dismissed Lily. An airplane was a bad idea anyhow. They’d be easier to track once the orphanage realized they’d left.

“What’s left? ‘Cept a boat.”� A boat wouldn’t do, either. Lily didn’t even know of any docks in Little Whinging. 

“Not a boat, either. We’re taking wizard transportation,”� said Lily. Wizard transportation was the perfect solution. There was no way the Muggle orphanage employees could trace it. 

Dinah became excited. “How do wizards travel?”� 

“Guess,”� said Lily, smiling. 

“Um...space ships!”� tried Dinah, jabbing her finger toward the sky. 

Lily sniggered. “No.”�

“Brooms!”� 

“Sometimes,”� conceded Lily. “But I don’t own one. They’re very expensive”� 

Dinah’s eyes expanded as wide as the waist of Chris Farley. “It’s _true_? Brooms really _fly_?”�

“Not _all_ brooms,”� clarified Lily. “The ones sold in the supermarket can’t fly. They have to be bought at a wizard shop.”� 

“Where _are_ wizard shops?”� 

“It depends on where you are,”� said Lily. “They’re all over the world. But the ones I shop at are in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade.”� 

“Can we go there?”� asked Dinah enthusiastically. Lily realized how little it took to excite a child. 

“Maybe sometime after our trip,”� said Lily, sounding to herself like a mother. “Now keep guessing.”� 

“I can’t _think_ of any more!”� she cried. “All that’s left is normal stuff!”� 

“Try from there,”� suggested Lily, grinning. 

“Are you telling me that witches and wizards travel the same ways regular people do?”� demanded Dinah, hands on her hips. 

Lily grinned again. “Stand against that wall.”�

Without question, Dinah backed up against the wall that held the window. Lily took her wand from her duffel bag and backed up beside the child before raising her left arm. 

BANG! Dinah screamed and clung to Lily as a shockingly purple, triple-decker bus materialized before them. The door opened and a young boy, around seven or eight, grinned at them from the doorway, clad in a uniform as purple as the bus. 

“Welcome to the Knight Bus,”� he piped, pushing his oversized sleeve up his arm, “emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, st-...ste-....”� He whipped around and yelled, “Uncle Ern? What’s the rest of my speech?”� 

An exasperated sigh carried from the front of the bus and someone began walking toward the door, mumbling and grumbling along the way. 

“Stan, how many times will it take for you to memorize your lines?”� griped an elderly man with thick glasses. “If you mess up one more time, I’m making you wash the dishes instead, nephew or not!”� 

The boy’s lower lip trembled and he nodded sheepishly at his uncle before darting inside, presumably to study his lines. Massaging his temples and shaking his head at the boy, Ern turned toward Lily and Dinah. 

“Sorry about that. He’s my nephew. Thought I’d let him help out around here...his mum just passed and all....”� 

“We understand,”� muttered Lily, thinking of her own mother. 

Ern bobbled his head and picked up where his nephew had left the speech off. “Step on board and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Ernie Prang and I will be your driver this morning.”� He stepped backward to allow them entrance and they climbed the stairs to the bus. 

Rows of squashy armchairs filled the space behind the driver’s seat. Because it was morning, there was no need for the candles that usually burned, and the daylight was left the job of brightening the room. 

“How much is it to get to Sierre?”� asked Lily, quickly consulting the brochure to be sure she had the right town. 

The man scratched his head. “Switzerland?”� 

Lily nodded. 

He glanced pityingly at the child by her side, who stared up at Ernie with frightened eyes; she still trembled from her shock in the alley. 

“For you, ten sickles. And there’s no charge for children under ten,”� he said, obviously bending his policies like a pipe cleaner. 

“Are you...sure?”� questioned Lily, who had paid eleven just to go to London during her last trip on the Knight Bus. 

“Quite,”� he replied with a smile missing several teeth. “Choose any of the chairs you’d like. We’ll arrive in an hour.”�

“But--”� Lily had pulled her last galleon from her bag, ready to hand it over. 

“I won’t hear of it,”� Ernie cut her off, pushing the galleon back toward its owner. Dinah eyed the wizard currency with interest. “Ten sickles will suffice.”�

Embarrassed at her special treatment, Lily replaced the galleon in her bag, sensing the man’s relentlessness, and withdrew the asked price. She was glad there were no other passengers on the bus to witness the spectacle. 

“I know how tight the budget is when you’re a young parent,”� he muttered to Lily. “Had mine at eighteen meself. You’ll make it all right.”� He walked to the driver’s seat, disappearing from view, and left Lily in place, blushing at the man’s assumption. She led Dinah to the back of the bus. 

“Does he think you’re my mother?”� she asked in low tones, looking over her shoulder at the front of the bus.

“Er...yes he does,”� mumbled Lily, red as ever. They sat down on a particularly large armchair after Lily stowed their luggage in the compartment overhead. 

“But you’re not even _married_ ,”� Dinah pointed out as the bus jerked into gear. 

“Women don’t have to be married to have children,”� said Lily. 

“They don’t?”� This was news to Dinah. 

“Your mother wasn’t married the whole time,”� she pointed out.

“But she was at the beginning,”� said Dinah, insistently, “when she and my Daddy made me. He left before I was born, though.”� Lily blushed again at the child’s knowledge of men and women. 

“How do you know that men and women make babies?”� she asked. Her own conversation with her mother came to mind. She hadn’t been much older than Dinah when she received her first ‘talk.’ Though Mr. and Mrs. Evans only covered the bear minimum when she was that young. 

“My mother told me,”� said Dinah simply. “I asked her about babies a long time ago because she thought she was going to have another one.”� 

“But she didn’t?”� asked Lily, stabling herself as the bus jerked abruptly. 

“No,”� said Dinah. “And she was really happy because she told me that man--her old boyfriend--was a prick.”� 

“Dinah!”� brayed Lily, shocked. “Don’t use that word!”� Lily hadn’t heard words like that until she was well into Hogwarts. 

Dinah covered her mouth with her hand, looking apologetic. “I didn’t know it’s a bad word. I’m sorry.”� 

“I forgive you,”� Lily said. “But your mother shouldn’t have taught you that word. ...Her boyfriend must have been a very bad man if she called him _that_ ,”� she added. 

“He was,”� confirmed Dinah, nodding vehemently. “I didn’t like him one bit. He drank a lot of beer and gave my mother her drugs. Then sometimes he’d lock me in my room so he could kiss my mother on the couch.”� 

“Well, he definitely deserved that word, then,”� Lily admitted, cuddling Dinah protectively. She didn’t add that Dinah’s mother wasn’t much better herself, letting him mistreat her child and conduct illegal behavior in front of her. 

“You don’t kiss boys, do you Lily?”� asked Dinah. If was going to hang around Lily, she wanted to be sure she behaved well. 

“I have before,”� she murmured, embarrassed and anxious. She was afraid Dinah would touch upon this subject. 

“You don’t kiss bad boys who drink beer, do you?”� She turned and looked her in the eyes. “Or the ones who do drugs?”� Dinah especially hated those kinds of boys.

“I have _no_ idea what he did,”� muttered Lily contemptuously. 

“You didn’t ask?”� said Dinah incredulously. “He was your boyfriend!”� 

“He most certainly was not,”� spat Lily. “I _hate_ him.”� Suddenly, she was in a touchy mood. She wasn’t sure if it was the subject itself, or Dinah’s misconception about Lucius that had brought this on.

“What’d you kiss him for, then?”� demanded Dinah. Lily felt as though she was being interrogated by her mother. 

“I didn’t _want_ to,”� said Lily, and a cold feeling spreading through her; they were approaching her least favorite subject at an alarming rate. But she felt she could share her past with Dinah, if only to clear things up. “I liked another boy.”� 

“So why’d you kiss the one you hate?”� 

“He forced me to,”� replied Lily, anxious as to her reply.

Dinah looked outraged. “Where did this happen?”� 

“School.”�

“Why didn’t you yell for the teacher?”� 

“He threatened to kill me if I did. He was a lot stronger and bigger than I was, too, and I knew I couldn’t have taken him on.”� Embarking on her story hadn’t been as bad as Lily anticipated. She only wished her mother were there to hear it too, and saddened slightly. 

“You had to _let_ him kiss you?”� said Dinah, both angrily and somewhat disgustedly. Having a mother like hers had taken a huge toll on Dinah. She was very disapproving toward boys in general after all of her mother’s ex-boyfriends. 

“Think of it like this: I’m a school bully and I want your lunch money. So I walk up to you and try and take it. I pin you against the lockers. Could you fight me off?”� exemplified Lily. 

“No,”� said Dinah. “Because you’re bigger and stronger. I see now.”� The child thought for a moment. “What happened after he finished kissing you? He didn’t do any of that other stuff, did he?”� Dinah looked very disgusted now. 

Lily raised her eyebrows, shocked again. “What do you know about ‘ _other stuff_ ’?”� 

“A lot,”� Dinah assured her. “My mother told me.”� 

Lily’s mouth fell open. “What kind of mother shares that information with a small child?”� 

Dinah shrugged. “Well...when I asked her where babies come from, she told me _everything_.”� 

“You shouldn’t know everything yet.”� It had taken Lily up until she was fourteen to learn of all of the aspects of sex. At six, she was reluctant to let go of the stork belief. 

“I wish I _didn’t_ ,”� Dinah told her earnestly. “But Lily... _did_ he make you do other stuff?”� 

Lily trembled a little. “Did your mother explain to you about rape?”� Lily wouldn’t be surprised if she had. 

Dinah shook her head. “What is it?”� 

“Rape is when a man--or a woman--forces someone to do...‘ _other stuff_ ’,”� told Lily, frightened just speaking of it. She glanced around the room--still empty.

Dinah gasped. “Do you have a baby, Lily?”� 

“No...thank God. That would have been awful.”� The thought of a child with Lucius Malfoy made her want to remain celibate for the rest of her life. 

“But you make a good mother,”� said Dinah, beaming, and leaned onto her shoulder. 

“It’s not the baby that would have been awful,”� said Lily, and she kissed the top of Dinah’s head. “The man who raped me would have taken my baby away, even though men who rape women lose rights to their babies. He had a very powerful group on his side.”� 

“Why would he take it away?”� 

“Either to kill it, because I’m not the kind of witch he likes, or to raise it to do bad things like he does,”� answered Lily. She felt momentary pity for her non-existent child. 

“He would kill his _own_ baby?”� whimpered Dinah. “I hope I never meet this man.”� She snuggled into Lily’s lap for safety and comfort. 

“You won’t, baby,”� promised Lily, wrapping her within her robe. “He lives far from Little Whinging and very far from Sierre.”� 

The conversation ended for the next few minutes and they sat in silence, bumping and swaying with the violent movements of the bus. Then Dinah asked, “What happened to the boy you liked?”� 

“I’m sure he has a girlfriend now,”� said Lily, and her eyes watered at her loss. If only she’d accepted him on the spot...

“No, I mean when you were in school. Did he beat up that bad boy?”� 

“No. But his friends did. They saved my life.”� Lily had been friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter as well back in school. More with Remus and Sirius, though, than Peter. He often came off as unfriendly to Lily. 

“Tell me the story,”� said Dinah. 

“Remember how I told you he ordered me not to scream?”� asked Lily. She felt tears start in her eyes. As much as she wanted and needed to talk to someone about her rape, it still pained her as much as it had back in December. 

“Yes.”�

“He’d...done something particularly painful and I yelled. He slapped me for it and when he reached for his wand, I caught a glimpse of my house ghost.”� 

“You had a ghost in your house?”� Minutiae from the wizarding world never failed to render her surprised. 

“Not my house in Little Whinging,”� said Lily smiling, glad the child had lightened the mood momentarily. “My house in school, Gryffindor. Anyway, I saw Nick standing halfway in the room and the boy couldn’t see him, so Nick nodded at me to let me know he would help, and he darted off to--”�

“He _left_ you with that bad boy?”� said Dinah loudly. Lily held a finger to her lips, signaling her to quiet down. 

“Ghosts can’t grab onto humans,”� she cleared up. “He couldn’t have helped me himself. He had to go find someone, and the first people he saw in the corridor were Sirius and Remus, James’s friends. I don’t know where in the world Peter was.”� 

“The boy you liked is called James?”� 

“Yeah,”� said Lily, feeling warm at his mention. “Well, Sirius and Remus hated the bad boy--Lucius--as much as I do and they followed Nick to the classroom Lucius had locked us in.”�

“I thought you said Nick was standing in the room?”� interrupted Dinah for the fourth time. “How could he if the door was locked?”�

“Ghosts can walk through walls,”� said Lily quickly, wanting to move on. “Or...float, rather.”�

“Okay. Go on with the story, Lily.”�

“They unlocked the door with their wands and cursed Lucius right as he raised his own wand to me. Sirius roughed him up while Remus grabbed my robe from the floor and wrapped me in it.”� 

“They saw you naked?”� Dinah’s cheeks were red now. 

Lily had never given this much thought before. “That was the least of my worries.”�

“Were you scared?”� 

Lily nodded. “Very scared. I thought he was going to kill me.”�

“ _Remus_?”� gasped Dinah, as though this were a Lifetime program in which the best friend had just been revealed to be the murderer. 

“Of course not Remus,”� snapped Lily. “ _Lucius_. Nick must have gone to fetch others after he led Remus and Sirius to the classroom,”� Lily continued once she cleared her throat, “because Professor Dumbledore showed up a couple minutes later--he’s Hogwarts’s headmaster--and made Sirius stop kicking Lucius so he could bind him. Then he told them to take him to his office and wait until he returned. Sirius told me later that they dragged him the whole way. Professor Dumbledore carried me to the Hospital Wing, because I told him it hurt too much to walk.”� Lily crossed her legs out of instinct at the memory of her pain. 

“Did he hit your legs too?”� asked Dinah, wide-eyed. “Lucius, I mean.”�

“No. He...”� she paused, raising her eyebrows. “You said you know what men and women do.”�

“I _do_ know,”� said Dinah importantly. “But none of it has anything to do with legs.”� She wore a sort of ‘Ha! Challenge _that_!’ expression.

“Think of what’s close to the legs,”� said Lily. “Think of what he could have done.”� 

“Oh!”� exclaimed Dinah after a second of thought. “That hurts?”� 

“Yes. The first time. He also...did it roughly.”� Lily blushed for the third time, uncomfortable discussing such a thing with her young friend. 

“Did his friends visit you in the Hospital Wing?”� asked Dinah, eager to steer the conversation in a less intimate direction.

“Yes. As soon as Professor Dumbledore gave them leave. Sirius rubbed my back while I cried and Remus brought me chocolate to make me feel a little better.”� Tears filled her eyes again and she smiled at the memory of their kind gestures. 

“What about James? Did he come?”� Dinah was determined to get the scoop on James, so she could make her final judgment. 

“No. Nobody told James what happened. He had snuck out of the castle that night. Went to Hogsmeade, I guess. That was probably where Peter went as well, actually. But anyway, he wasn’t involved in the ordeal. Professor Dumbledore made Remus and Sirius swear not to tell him.”� 

“Why?”�

“He knew James would have done something stupid and got himself arrested or killed,”� Lily explained.

Dinah grinned. “You mean he would have beat him up?”�

“Yeah. Badly.”� Lily half-smiled. 

“Did you ever kiss James?”� Dinah wondered aloud. So far, he sounded good to her. She didn’t mind if Lily had kissed him. 

“No.”� Lily shook her head. “I never accepted his date offer. I didn’t speak much at school after the rape.”� 

“But you liked him!”� protested Dinah silently missing James’s presence. “Why not?”� 

“I was afraid of boys after that,”� confided Lily. “I still am, of some. It’s a difficult feeling to describe. But I avoided James. I didn’t want to go against what the headmaster said, either, because I know I would have ended up explaining everything to him.”�

“You let him get away?”� Dinah asked sadly, and Lily almost laughed aloud at her wording. “He sounded nice.”� 

“Because he would have beat up Lucius?”� asked Lily, amused. 

“Yes!”� enthused Dinah. “And you didn’t say anything about him doing drugs or drinking beer.”� 

“He definitely didn’t do drugs, but I’ve caught him sneaking Firewhiskey up to his dormitory before.”�

“Oh.”� Dinah’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. 

“But all boys do that,”� said Lily, noting her reaction. “Even _I_ ’ve tried Firewhiskey.”� 

“You don’t drink a lot?”� The child was fearful.

“I don’t really care for alcohol,”� said Lily, making a face at the thought of drinking it to lighten Dinah’s mood. “It’s not my stuff. I like tea and hot chocolate better. And Butterbeer.”�

“You said you don’t like beer!”� accused Dinah, growing fearful again. 

Lily giggled, ensuing crossed arms from the child. “Butterbeer doesn’t have alcohol in it. It’s just a name. Like rootbeer.”�

Dinah calmed. “Oh.”� 

The bus screeched to a halt and Lily had to reach out for the armchair in front of them to keep from toppling over with Dinah, who was still cuddled in her lap. Little Stan rushed down the thin wooden staircase to the left of Lily and Dinah’s row. Since he was too small to reach the overhead compartment, he left the baggage fetching to Lily. 

Once their bags were in place on their backs and shoulders, Stan led them down the aisle to the door and held it open. 

“Thank you for traveling with the Knight Bus. I hope you and your daughter have a pleasant trip.”� He smiled at them, revealing a gap where he appeared to have lost a baby tooth. 

“Thank you,”� said Lily, smiling at his adorable rehearsed lines. She didn’t bother to correct his assumption. 

“Bye!”� called Dinah, jumping the large stairs to the ground. 

With another deafening BANG, the bus vanished and the child screamed, wrapping her arms around Lily’s waist in terror. 

“The bus is gone,”� Lily soothed, kneeling down to embrace her. “Don’t be frightened.”� She brushed a stray curl from her cheek and kissed her forehead. 

Dinah observed their surroundings, the small alley between two large buildings. One looked to be a restaurant and the other a hotel. They saw people eating and drinking through the windows of the building to their left, but the windows of the building on their right all had their curtains drawn back. 

Dinah shivered as a gust of wind blew through the alley. “I’m cold, Lily. Can I wear my jacket?”� She hugged herself to keep warm.

“Why do you need to ask?”� Lily’s forehead creased in confusion. 

“Mother never liked me to wear it,”� explained Dinah, pulling her backpack around to her front to unzip it, “because she said it looks like...a bad word. But it’s the only one I have.”�

She plucked it from her bag. It was royal blue with wooden buttons and a crisp collar. The hem fell to her knees. Lily could pick out nothing wrong with it, except for a few scratches on a couple of the buttons. 

“Why didn’t she like it? I think it’s a nice jacket.”� 

“She didn’t like the material it was made from,”� informed Dinah, slipping her arm into a sleeve. “She said it’s cheap.”� Dinah fiddled with the jacket to make herself comfortable once she’d put it on properly.

“Why’d she buy it for you, then?”� Lily was liking Dinah’s mother less and less with each bit of information she shared. 

“She didn’t,”� replied Dinah. “Her friend gave it to me for my birthday, June thirteenth.”�

“Well, you don’t have to ask permission to wear it anymore,”� said Lily. 

Dinah smiled. “Can I wear the hat that came with it, too?”� 

Lily shrugged. “If you want to.”�

Happily, Dinah plunged her hand into her backpack and dragged out a paper boy-style hat in the same color as the jacket. She fixed it atop her curly brown head. 

“Adorable,”� Lily praised with an approving smile, taking her hand. Together they walked down the alley and out into the bustling sidewalk. They passed by one of the buildings that made up the alleyway--the restaurant-- and admired the balconies, awnings, and painted shutters. On the building’s front the words ‘ _Boulangerie au Berceau d’Or_ ’ were painted in black letters. They walked by many buildings similar in design as they traversed the street. It took twice the time to reach the hotel down at the end both because they’d inspected each of the buildings along the way and, despite the fact that it was only late August, everyone seemed to want to go skiing. 

Lily took comfort in her surroundings. Sierre was large, open, and full of adventure waiting to happen, Lily figured. Coniferous trees ran down the mountainsides, bushes, flowers--and bushes with flowers--and even more large trees dotted the sidewalk. And the crowd, though foreign to her, appeared to smile at her and Dinah as they walked, welcoming them to the country. 

“I think I’m gonna like it here,”� said Dinah, smiling at Lily.

Lily met the child’s eyes. “Me too.”�

She smiled in return. 

O O O


	5. Problems Arise

**Dedications** : This one’s a shocker.

My Nazi-like first block teacher: For giving me such easy work today that I finished an hour early and composed my chapter in secret. 

**Chapter 4** : Problems Arise

The hotel was no Hilton or Holiday Inn, but it looked cozy in its own way. It gave the impression of a lodge from the outside with small rectangular windows, a brick exterior, a roof that escalated then flattened suddenly, and leaf-less trees flanking the entrance. The only feature that reminded one of the city was the limestone clock tower in front of it. Three thin windows climbed up toward the black-faced clock like snowman’s buttons. The largest tombstone-shaped window laid just below the clock itself. 

Dodging several pairs of feet and swinging traveling bags, Lily and Dinah made their way to the glass doors that gave entrance to the hotel. A cheerful bell jingled overhead as the door swung forward and they stepped into the quaint lobby. On the mantle of the inactive fireplace, dolls, pictures and old wooden toys were arranged upon doilies that had yellowed with age. Portraits of the surrounding Alps drew interest to the otherwise drab red brick walls, and the wooden staircase leading to the upper floor gave the feel of a log cabin. 

A young man in a crisp, white, long-sleeved shirt smiled pleasantly at them from behind the check-in counter. Lily regarded him warily, but returned the smile after a moment. Dinah noticed her hesitance. 

“How may I be of help to you?”� He spoke with an accent. 

“We need a room for the week,”� replied Lily, digging through her bag for her envelope of money. 

“Single or double?”� 

Lily bit her lip and stole a glance at Dinah. “I don’t want my own bed,”� she whispered. 

“Single,”� answered Lily, exchanging a smile with Dinah. Her mother used to do the same for her when they’d traveled together. The odd thing was, Lily had been frightened of witches as a child. Fabricated, fairy tale witches, of course. 

“Would you like to pay now or later?”� asked the young man. 

“Now, please.”� That way, she could do all the shopping she pleased without worry.

“Two-hundred and sixty-five Francs, please.”� Though she had more than enough money, the price sounded exorbitant to Lily. She’d only ever had small chunks of currency at a time before that morning. 

“I only have pounds with me,”� said Lily uneasily, fearing an incident. “British pounds.”� She held the money out toward him and he accepted it; she pulled away brusquely when his fingers brushed hers. 

“This is not a problem,”� he assured her. The drawer of the cash register clanged when he pulled it open to exchange her money. He handed her far more Francs than she’d given him pounds; she felt strange, as though she were stealing.

“Are you sure you gave me the right amount?”� she asked. “This is quite a lot of money.”� She held the three hundred Francs out for him, which he pushed back toward her. 

“I am certain. It’s the exchange of rate, yes?”� His mix-up with the term took a moment to register with Lily.

“If...you say so,”� answered Lily, tucking the money into her robe pocket. She then realized she was wearing her old school robes in the Muggle city and hoped no one took notice. 

“I do,”� he replied with a smile. “And here is your key to the room. Your meals are included with the price.”� He held out a sole silver key on a ring tagged ‘#25’. Lily took it and muttered her thanks. Dinah slipped her hand into Lily’s and they shuffled up the narrow staircase with their bulky luggage. 

They came out in a hallway papered with pictures of dancing Swiss girls with old-fashioned dresses and bonnets. Their room, number twenty-five, laid at the end of the hallway and Lily unlocked its door with the key the young man had given her. Dinah tossed her backpack in the corner by the door and kicked off her worn saddle shoes before running to jump on the queen-sized bed in the center of the room. Lily rolled her eyes, smiling, and locked the door behind them. 

“Don’t dirty the bed,”� she said. 

“I’m-not!”� panted Dinah as she bounced. 

Lily snatched her in mid-air, stumbling backward with the force. Dinah giggled and threw her arms about her neck, her head coming to rest on her shoulder. 

“What are we going to do today?”� she asked. “Ski? I don’t know how to ski.”�

Lily peered out the window at the mountains. Snow only capped the highest peaks; the rest of the land was green and lush. Definitely not skiing weather. 

“I don’t think we’ll be able to ski this week,”� said Lily, disappointed. “But there are other things to do in Sierre.”�

“Like what?”� Dinah played with a piece of Lily’s hair. 

“Well...”� Lily walked to the dresser, shifting Dinah to her hip to allow herself a free hand. She flipped open the tourists’ guide and they looked through it together. They saw pictures of gorgeous waterfalls, old-timey houses, prestigious restaurants, trolley tours, nature hikes, bike trails, a playground made to look like a forest...that was all Dinah needed to see. She grabbed the book and wriggled from Lily’s grasp, tapping excitedly at the page. 

“Oh, a _playground_! Can we go, Lily? Can we, _please_?”� She clasped her hands together and jumped up and down. 

“Where is it?”� She reached for the book but Dinah pulled it out of her reach and checked herself.

“T-Ter-ra-clear St-str-ee-t,”� Dinah drawled, sounding out the name. 

“You can read?”� Lily felt a flutter of pride in her chest. 

“A little,”� said Dinah shyly, closing the guide. She traced the outline of Switzerland on the cover with her finger. 

“Who taught you?”� Lily doubted it was her mother this time. 

“A lady on the TV,”� answered Dinah, confirming Lily’s suspicions. “I wasn’t allowed to go to school, so I had to learn from shows on TV.”�

Lily crossed her arms slowly over her chest, a crease between her eyebrows. She was still trying to process what Dinah had told her. “Why wouldn’t your mother send you to school?”� 

“There were... _problems_. ...Can we go?”� she changed the subject, tugging gently on her arm. “I want to play.”�

“I need to change my clothes first,”� said Lily, rumpling Dinah’s hair. “And a shower would be nice.”� She’d neglected her hygiene at the Manilas’ house. 

Dinah looked down at her own clothes and ran her fingers through her hair, which had grown slightly oily from a couple days without bathing. 

“I need a bath too,”� she agreed. “But should I wait until we come back from playing? I might get dirty again.”�

“We’ll take that chance,”� said Lily, taking two fluffy towels down from the shelf outside the bathroom. “We definitely need to clean up.”� She placed a towel in Dinah’s arms. 

“You can bathe yourself, right?”� asked Lily. She prayed so. Playing a mother was fine and all, but she wasn’t ready to bathe a child. 

“Yes,”� said Dinah. “Only the really little kids got help at the orphanage; I had to learn.”�

“You can go first,”� Lily offered, pushing open the bathroom door. “But take a shower, not a bath. I want to explore more of Sierre than just the playground and we’ll need as much time as possible.”�

“We’re doing more than just playing?”� Dinah’s eyes lit with energy. In her everyday life, she was lucky to do one interesting thing during the day.

“If we were only traveling to Sierre to play at a playground, don’t you think it would be a waste of money?”� asked Lily. “There are playgrounds in Little Whinging.”� 

“That’s a yes, then?”� Dinah grinned. 

Lily smiled. “It’s a yes.”� 

Dinah jumped and cheered ecstatically and hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Lily heard water flowing, but even after several minutes it wasn’t replaced by the gentle pattering of a shower. She rapped on the door. 

“Dinah?”� she called, pressing her ear against the surface of the door to hear better. “Are you drawing a bath? I told you to take a shower.”� 

She heard a muffled cry from inside, but no words. 

“I can’t hear you,”� she said into the crack of the door. “Put a towel on and open up.”� 

The door opened a moment later and Dinah stood before her wrapped in a fluffy towel, expression frantic. 

“I can’t make a shower!”� she cried, close to tears. “I make a bath by accident!”� She indicated the tub, which was nearly overflowing. As Lily ran to shut off the water, Dinah backed against the wall and said, 

“You’re not mad, are you Lily? I didn’t do it on purpose! Please don’t hit me!”� 

Lily walked toward her and she cowered. “Why would I hit you?”� She knelt beside her. “I know it was an accident. I’m not angry.”� Lily tucked a loose curl behind the child’s ear. Dinah collapsed into her arms. 

“My”�--she sniffled--“my mother used to get very angry about my accidents. If I didn’t do everything _exactly_ as she said, she’d spank me.”�

Lily rubbed circles on her back while she cried. 

“I”�--she hiccuped--“tried to fix it before the water got too high, but it kept coming and coming! I’m sorry--I won’t do it again! Don’t send me back to the orphanage!”� She hiccuped again and Lily sat down on rug, placing the red-faced girl in front of her. 

“All right, Dinah. We need to talk about a few things.”� Fearful and melancholy, Dinah nodded, eyes wandering to the carpet. “I am _not_ like your mother. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, and I definitely don’t hit children. You don’t have to worry anymore about making little mistakes, because I’m not going to punish you for them.”�

“So I’m not going back to the orphanage?”� she asked, looking up from the floor. 

“No,”� said Lily, pulling her close. “You’re not going back and neither am I. Unless you...want to go back.”�

Dinah’s eyes opened wide and she shook her head vehemently. “Never! I want to stay with you!”�

Lily mussed her hair affectionately. “We’ll see about that. I don’t have much money. I don’t have a job. I don’t have a degree or training...none of that. I don’t know how good of a guardian I’d make for you.”� 

“Where will I go then? I don’t want to live with anyone else.”� She grew scared. “They can’t take me away from you, right? The ladies at the orphanage?”� 

“I don’t know,”� Lily admitted, growing worried herself. “Let’s not think about this right now. We’re here to have a vacation--to enjoy ourselves. And to start feeling better about our families.”�

Dinah stood up and readjusted her towel. “I already told you: I don’t feel bad about my mother dying. She wasn’t good to me. You know that.”� 

“You don’t even miss her a _little_ bit?”� whispered Lily. “She wasn’t good to you _some_ of the time?”� 

“Hardly ever,”� said Dinah. “Once she brought me ice cream from town, but that was the only nice thing. It was nice when she wasn’t home, though.”� 

“You stayed home _alone_?”� Lily’s eyes expanded incredulously. 

“All the time,”� said Dinah, as if she were talking about how often she viewed the television. “I spent most of my time home alone. I took walks around our apartment building’s lake and fed the ducks with some of the bread from our house. Mother never noticed when it went bad; she ate in town most of the time.”�

“Why was she gone so much? Work?”� Lily’s mother had been a stay-at-home mother and found the idea of being alone at home odd. She’d never been home alone before.

“She worked _and_ she went to school,”� explained Dinah. “She said when she finished school everything would be better and we’d have a _real_ house and she’d be home more. But I never believed her. I knew she wouldn’t keep those promises; she never kept promises.”� 

“What promises didn’t she keep before?”� asked Lily. 

“She promised I could go to school when I turned six,”� said Dinah. “But when I turned six and I talked about it again, she said _seven_!”� 

“Why? Did she give reasons?”� 

“She said she was busy enough during the day. She couldn’t take me to school and pick me up; and no buses came to our apartment because no other kids there went to school. They were all babies and kids with cars.”� 

“There were _no_ other children your age?”� Privet Drive was chock full of children Lily’s age. She’d played with them everyday when she was younger.

“Nope. We lived in a small apartment building.”� 

“I’m sure you could have found a way to get to and from school,”� said Lily. “Your mother didn’t try hard enough.”� 

“That wasn’t the only problem,”� Dinah continued. “She didn’t make enough money to pay for the things I needed for school. I don’t have a lot of clothes and I need a _whole_ lot if I go to school. And she couldn’t pay for my lunches or supplies, either.”� 

Lily said, “Maybe that was the reason she killed herself. She didn’t make enough to pay for everything she had to pay for, so she got rid of her problems.”�

“But she didn’t kill _herself_ ,”� insisted Dinah. “The _drugs_ killed her.”�

“When she was found dead, was there anything near her? Pills? White powder?”�

“Yes...pills. There was medicine on her beside table. A whole bottle full. Well...not a _whole_ bottle. Half of it was empty. And she _just_ bought it that night!”� 

“That’s how she did it, then,”� said Lily. “She overdosed on pills.”� Drugs were a strange thing to discuss with a child. She wondered if Dinah would fully grasp the situation.

“Is overdosed when you take too many?”� asked Dinah. 

Lily nodded. “And usually when people overdose, it’s not an accident.”� 

Dinah thought for a moment, working this out. “So she did it on purpose? Because she was poor?”� 

“I think so, love,”� said Lily. “She probably felt like she couldn’t ever fix the mess she’d gotten herself into. Going to college--the school your mother always talked about--isn’t cheap.”�

“But she had a job!”� cried Dinah. “Jobs pay money! She could have used it to pay for _everything_!”� 

“Some jobs don’t pay enough,”� muttered Lily in disappointment. “That’s why I can’t adopt you. I can’t take care of you either.”�

“Yes you _can_!”� Dinah teared up again. “You’re taking care of me _right now_ and everything’s _fine_!”� 

“I can’t afford it for long, Dinah,”� Lily said softly, cupping her cheek. “I only have enough money to last us for... _maybe_ a few weeks. And only if we leave Sierre when the week is up.”�

“Can’t you do anything to get more money?”� A tear rolled from each of her eyes down her cheeks. “Use magic!”� 

“I can’t use magic to get more money,”� said Lily gently, cuddling her again. “I don’t know if it’s even _possible_ to duplicate money with magic and it would be illegal even if I could.”� 

“Can’t you get a job or something?”� she suggested desperately. “And a cheap house? Do you have a car? We can live there until we have money!”� Lily could tell Dinah would go to any lengths to make her dreams become reality.

“No, I don’t have a car,”� sighed Lily. “I don’t have a driver’s license either. But...we wouldn’t _live_ in the car unless we absolutely had to.”� Lily couldn’t imagine living in a car. Sharing the back seat with her sister during road trips was bad enough.

“It sounds like we do,”� pouted Dinah. “It sounds pretty bad.”� The child was right. They were in an awful situation.

“We might _have_ to go back to the orphanage,”� mused Lily. 

“Didn’t your mother leave you _any_ money?”� asked Dinah.

“No.”� Lily hated her diaries and trinkets then. She wished her mother had given _her_ their house.

“Not even a _little_?”� she pressed. 

“Not even a little. Only personal things. Family things.”� Useless things, she thought.

“What kinds of things?”� she asked, curious. 

“Old jewelry and silverware,”� said Lily. “A few dishes and cups. And there were some other odd things mixed in as well.”� 

“Are they worth money?”� asked Dinah, hopeful. 

“I can’t sell them,”� said Lily softly, stroking the child’s hair. “They were my mother’s. If she wanted them to be sold, she wouldn’t have left them to me.”� 

“Lily, _please_!”� cried Dinah, and more tears leaked from her eyes. “Don’t you _want_ me to live with you?”� 

“Of course I do,”� said Lily honestly. “But I can’t afford to take care of you! I can’t even afford to take care of myself!”� Lily’s depression was returning to her. She began to feel nearly as bad as she had the day before.

“Then what’s gonna _happen_ to me?”� sobbed the child. “Where will I _live_?”� 

“I don’t know, Dinah,”� repeated Lily. She rubbed her back again in an attempt to soothe her. The child’s sobs soon changed to hiccups and sniffles and not long after to muffled, shaky breathing. Once she wiped her eyes and finished calming down, Dinah said, 

“I don’t want to play at the playground anymore. Not today.”�

“Neither do I,”� muttered Lily. “Why don’t you play in the bath and I’ll wait in the other room until you finish. After I clean up we can go down for lunch; I’m starving.”�

“Okay,”� said Dinah quietly, avoiding eye contact. She stood up and Lily moved to her feet, taking leave of the room. 

Lily felt so drained from the stress of their conflict that she didn’t turn on the small television on the dresser by the travelers’ guide; she didn’t rummage through her duffel bag for a book to occupy herself; she didn’t even cry, something she felt a strong inclination to do. 

She let her problems sink momentarily into the abyss and collapsed onto the freshly made bed to give slumber to her restless mind. 

O O O


	6. Playground Brawls

**Author’s Note** : The chapter you’ve all been waiting for! -introductive trumpet noises-

**Dedications** : To an inanimate object!

My porch: You’re wonderful to sit in and write stories. 

**Chapter 5** : Playground Brawls

Lily felt another presence on the bed, both warm and cold, when she came around a few hours later. Dinah lay beside her snuggled close; the warmth came from her body, the cold from her wet hair, which had soaked the side of Lily’s robe. Rolling her eyes at the child’s carelessness, she stripped off her robe and pitched it in a wad onto the chair in the corner. 

Goosebumps ran up her arms and down her legs, which felt bare and cool without the snug coverage of the robe. She buried herself within the comforter--all but her face--and gazed at the ceiling, arms folded beneath her head. She wanted to solve the majority of their problems before Dinah awoke and disrupted her train of thought. 

How _would_ she earn enough money to support them? To support herself alone, even? Did she care enough for Dinah to try to support both of them? Should she send her back to the orphanage to avoid worsening the child’s life with her poverty? Should she adopt her? Did she _want_ to?

Lily’s mind was as busy as a hive of bees. 

‘ _All right_ ,’ thought Lily’s organizational side, ‘ _let’s address question number one_.’ 

‘ _But surely question six is of the most importance_!’ insisted her loving side. 

‘ _What about the_ money?’ argued her rational side. ‘ _Think about_ that _yet_?’ 

‘ _Don’t worry about the_ child,’ interrupted Lily’s selfish side. ‘ _Just figure out how you’re going to support_ yourself!’ 

Lily felt a headache coming on. She thought of nothing for a minute, hoping to clear her mind. 

‘ _Okay. I_ will _address question six first_. _It_ is _the most important_ ,’ she thought, and her emotional side swelled smugly. 

She rose carefully from the bed so not to wake Dinah and grabbed a handful of Knuts from her bag. She sat beside the chair in the corner and crossed her legs Indian-style before laying the coins in a pile on the carpet. 

‘ _Now, for every pro of adopting Dinah, I place a coin by my left foot; for every con, my right_. _I like having her around_. _She’s a pleasant companion_.’ A coin fell to the floor by her left foot. 

‘ _I don’t have enough money to keep her_.’ She dropped one by her right. ‘ _She called me a good mother_ ’--she grinned--‘ _and I think I would be too_.’ Left. 

‘ _We snuck away from the orphanage. They probably won’t let me adopt her anyway_.’ Right. 

‘ _I don’t have a house. I don’t have a job_.’ Right. Right. 

‘ _I make her happy. I treat her much better than her own mother did. She_ wants _me to adopt her_.’ Left. Left. Left. 

‘ _I have all the time in the world to be her mother; her own mother didn’t_. _She might be magical--I can help her with that. A Muggle woman would hate her for it._ ’ Left. Left. 

‘ _I can’t see her go to live with another family. It would kill me_.’ 

The rest of the coins rolled from her palm into the pile by her left foot. 

An adrenaline filled her and she pushed herself to her feet, grinning like she’d just won the lottery. In her eyes, she had. She hadn’t felt a feeling as great as the one that consumed her at that moment in seven years--since she received her Hogwarts letter and found out what she truly was. That moment, as much as discovering that she was a witch, was also a self-discovery. She found strength within herself she never knew she possessed, courage foreign to her, and belief in her abilities. 

She _would_ find a job in the city. She _would_ find them a place to live. Adopting Dinah seemed so close, so feasible. 

While Dinah slept through Lily’s burst of energy, self-discovery and joy, she finished cleaning up like they planned earlier so they could eat dinner and explore the city by night. Lily dried her hair with a charm, aiming one at Dinah’s head as well. She brushed her long red curls and left her hair to cascade down her back and over her shoulders. Her attire wasn’t flashy; only a pair of faded jeans, a white shirt, and her long, chartreuse-green jacket as her top layer. 

She sat beside the sleeping child on the bed when she finished and admired every aspect of the girl she soon hoped would be her daughter. Her soft brown curls, she noticed, were probably the reason--beside the fact they traveled together--Ernie Prang mistook Dinah for her daughter. They had the same type of curls, though Lily wore hers almost a foot longer than the child, whose hair fell only to her shoulders. 

“Dinah,”� Lily bent her head to whisper in her ear, “wake up.”�

The child only yawned and rolled over. 

“Dinah,”� tittered Lily, poking her in the side, “wake up.”� 

She moaned and swatted at Lily’s hand, yanking the covers up over her head. Lily pulled them right off, meeting Dinah’s startled blue eyes. 

“Don’t you want to go out and see the town?”� asked Lily. Dinah was amazed that Lily was up and dressed and on top of that, in a spectacular mood. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. 

“We’re still going? What about the fight? And the problems?”� 

Lily gave a slight smile. “I...I’ve worked them out.”� 

“You have?”� said Dinah, almost skeptically. 

“Yes!”� chirped Lily, enveloping her in a hug and placing a kiss atop her head. Her happiness was like a firework soaring into the air, about to explode. 

Dinah pulled back and stared at her strangely. “Are you feeling okay? You didn’t know what to do before we went to sleep and now you _do_?”� 

“I thought about our situation while you were sleeping,”� Lily told her, throwing a glance in the direction of the pile of coins in the corner. 

“And?”� Her voice quavered slightly. 

The beginnings of a smile curled Dinah’s lips when she saw Lily’s cheerful grin. 

“You’re going to live with me,”� she said, and tears of joy filled her eyes. “If you...want a new mother.”� 

Dinah frowned at the remembrance of what she once told Lily. “I didn’t mean that,”� she said brusquely. “Not if my new mother is you.”� Lily smiled at her, warm inside. 

Shyly, because of their earlier troubles, she hugged Lily around the neck. 

“Do we have money and a house now?”� asked Dinah. “Did you find a job while I was sleeping?”� 

Lily shook her head, forcing down an amused chuckle. “But we’ll manage.”�

“Are you sure we can?”� fretted the child. “You won’t leave me home alone, right? Or leave rotten food in the fridge? Or stay at work and school all day?”� 

“I can’t make any promises about school or work all day,”� said Lily, “because I don’t know what kind of schedule I’ll have yet, but I assure you there will be edible food in the refrigerator and that you won’t be home alone.”�

“But...you’ll _try_ to stay home with me?”� 

“Of course.”�

Dinah smiled at Lily and, rather unexpectedly, cuddled into her jacket and said, 

“I love you, Lily.”� 

There aren’t words to describe how Lily felt when she heard what Dinah said. Tears consumed her eyes and a smile expressing an emotion she’d never felt before shone from her lips. She wrapped the child snugly in her arms and replied,

“I love you too, Dinah.”�

\- - - 

Twenty minutes later, they were downstairs in the small restaurant of the hotel, dressed and ready at last. Though Dinah, as she said, didn’t own many clothes, most of the clothes she did own were either very cute or very nice. For instance, that evening she dressed herself in an off-white chenille sweater (both cute and nice), a pair of brown pants, and her saddle shoes, which Lily cleaned off fixed up with a few simple spells, leaving them looking like new again. And to top it off--literally--she wore a matching brown bucket hat. Lily guessed that either her mother’s old friends or ex-boyfriends had paid for the child’s expensive clothing. Which, Lily also realized, was probably the reason her mother kept such company. 

Nevertheless, the two headed downstairs in their cheerful moods to get some dinner to take out with them while they explored the city. 

“What are you serving tonight?”� she asked of the chef from in front of a bar of unfamiliar looking foods. 

“Raclette,”� said the man in an accent similar to that of the check-in counter boy. “And quiches, apple tarts, bread and cheese, or bread and jam.”�

“Can you fix a little of everything in a box for each of us?”� asked Lily, putting an arm around Dinah’s shoulders to make sure he knew to fix two boxes. “We’d like to take the food with us while we explore the city.”� 

The chef nodded and retreated to the kitchen, Lily supposed, to fetch their boxes. He returned with not only the boxes but two filled Styrofoam cups with lids and straws. When he finished, he brought the boxes not to Lily and Dinah, but placed them on the counter behind the buffet and added something to one of them, something bottled. He placed the boxes in a plastic bag and held it out for Lily, who accepted. 

“I put in something extra for you,”� he said to Lily with a smile and a wink. 

“What is it?”� asked Lily apprehensively. 

“You will see, madam,”� he said and departed to serve the other customers. 

Lily felt awkward with the mystery bottled substance in her bag, but left it alone for the time being. After all, what reasons did the chef have to harm them? 

Once outside the hotel, the girls hopped aboard a trolley that passed by the front sidewalk. They now had an easy mean to start on their dinner and view the city simultaneously. They sat in the back to avoid the eye of the watchful attendant, just in case their snacking wasn’t allowed. The bottled substance caught Lily’s eye the moment she opened the bag; it stuck out against the white Styrofoam and cardboard. 

She pulled it out and examined it, letting it roll a full turn in her hands, and the liquid inside sloshed around. She instantly felt stupid for her worrying when she saw the label--‘ _Riesling--a Fine Wine of Switzerland_.’ She would have realized it was wine sooner, but the size of the bottle threw her off; it was no larger than a can of soda. Travel size, she guessed. 

Dinah eyed the bottle with distrust. “Is that alcohol?”� 

“Yes,”� admitted Lily. “But I’m not going to drink it, if that’s what you’re worried about. I didn’t ask for it--the man put it in the bag as a nice gesture. He didn’t know that I’m underage and don’t drink.”� She tucked it gently back into the bag and removed the cups in its place. She handed one to Dinah, who popped off the lid. 

“It’s...chocolate milk!”� She grinned at Lily, pleasantly surprised.

“It’s probably Ovaltine,”� said Lily, glancing at it. “The Swiss created Ovaltine.”� 

“Ovaltine?”� asked Dinah. She scrunched her nose up, not liking the sound of it. 

“It’s almost the same thing as chocolate milk,”� she explained, “except it’s better for you.”�

“It tastes the same, right?”� She sniffed tentatively at the drink. 

“Right. It’s just an adult’s way of tricking children into taking their vitamins.”� She smiled at the child in jest. 

Dinah rolled her eyes and snapped the lid back on. “You’re so silly,”� she said, and sipped at the Ovaltine.

“It _does_ taste the same!”� She sounded as though she’d been expecting mud.

“I told you.”�

“What’s in yours?”� She pointed to Lily’s cup. Lily inserted her straw and tried her drink. 

“I think it’s apple cider,”� she said, and took another sip. 

“Why did we get different drinks?”� asked Dinah. 

“The man probably thought you’d like Ovaltine better than the cider.”�

“I do!”� she said, smiling. She switched her focus to the boxes. “What are we having for dinner? What’s in those boxes?”� 

Lily took one out and opened it. There were several sections dividing the different food items. Dinah examined the box’s contents. 

“This food isn’t so weird,”� she said, then stared at Lily. “I thought people from other countries ate weird food?”� 

Lily laughed; Dinah frowned, thinking Lily was mean for her laughing. 

“But...it usually is!”� she defended. “One time I saw a lady make Chinese food on TV and it was some of the weirdest stuff I ever saw!”� 

Lily only laughed harder and Dinah reached grumpily for her own box, embarrassed and slightly hurt. Lily composed herself at once and gave the child a hug. 

“I’m not laughing to be mean, Dinah. I laughed because what you said was cute--it amused me. Don’t let your feelings be hurt so easily.”�

“Is this cheese and potatoes?”� Dinah asked, poking at a section of the box with the plastic fork she’d been given. 

“Looks like it,”� said Lily, through a bite of quiche. 

“What’s that you’re eating?”� Lily took note of how often the child asked questions. But she’d been the same way with her mother at that age. 

“Quiche. It’s basically a cheese pie. Most of our meal consists of cheese--it’s a big part of the Swiss diet.”�

“I like cheese,”� said Dinah, shyly tasting the Raclette. She ate it with more gusto when she found out it tasted no different than cheese and potatoes back home. Before tasting her slice of quiche, Dinah glanced up the street to see where they were heading. A favorable destination on the corner up ahead caused her to pack away her box and reach overhead to yank the stopping cord. 

“What was that about?”� demanded Lily as Dinah packed Lily’s box on top of hers and started walking off the trolley with the bag. Lily’s annoyance dissipated when she saw where they had gotten off. 

The forest playground. 

And that wasn’t all--to the side of the play structure flowed a magnificently gorgeous waterfall. The small pool at its end was lined with large rocks, the perfect place for them to relax and finish their dinner. 

So Dinah _had_ known what she was doing. 

She led the way to the rock-lined pool and climbed into a comfortable sitting position, setting the bag between them. 

“We got here after all!”� said Dinah cheerily, fishing out her cup and box. 

“Well,”� considered Lily, “you might want to go play before you eat. I don’t want you getting sick.”� 

“But my food will get cold,”� protested Dinah. 

“I’ll keep it warm,”� said Lily, giving the child a glimpse of her wand in her inside jacket pocket. Dinah smiled and slid from the rock. Lily stopped her with a call.

“Your clothes--I almost forgot.”� 

First checking for a clear coast, Lily muttered a word, wand aimed at Dinah’s outfit. 

“What did you do?”� Dinah stared down at her outfit in fear, as though it were going to attack her at any moment.

“Now you won’t get dirty,”� said Lily. “Run along.”�

The child happily obeyed, disappearing within the faux trees and leaves of the playground. Lily watched the fantastic waterfall as she ate the rest of her dinner. As the darkness of nighttime drifted fully in, colored lights flicked on near the summit of the fall, illuminating the waters. Lily felt tranquillity as she basked in the cool Sierren night, the color and gentle motion of the water’s cycle lulling her to sleep, though she felt not the least bit tired. Despite the fact, she lie back on the long rock, digesting on the inside, relaxing on the out. She’d never felt more at one with nature, more calm, more peaceful, in her life. 

That is, until a great racket surprised her out of her reverie and into the water. The pool, unlike her jacket, was freezing as, Lily then considered, it probably originated from a point high in the snow-capped Alps. She resurfaced dripping like a wet dog and shivering like mad to find that the rocks formed too high a barrier for her to scale alone. She swore and cleared her throat to scream for help, but a nearby conflict--the one that had startled her in the first place--cut her off. 

“ _Get that mangy animal_!”� screamed an angry male voice. “ _Don’t let it get away with my products_!”� 

“ _Put that rock down_!”� squealed Dinah, and Lily began to massage her temples. “ _You just wait until I tell the police_!”� What on earth had the child gotten herself involved with?

Lily heard the scrape of someone falling to the ground and then the rustle of gravel and sharp yelps. 

“ _Don’t shove me_!”� yelled the child amidst the sounds of running. 

Lily scrabbled at the rocks with more determination, but was still unable to pull herself out. 

“ _Leave the kitty ALONE_!”� shrieked Dinah, and the cry of a man in pain followed. Lily tried desperately once more to release herself; she made it, just barely, and dried herself quickly before seeking the man and Dinah. 

Her courage fluttered away when she saw the size and appearance of him paired with his anger. He was nearly two heads taller than Lily with a square, scarred chin and a nose that bent as though he’d recently been in a brawl. His clothes held the stench of dead fish mingled with the sea--which one could smell without having to go near him--and his hands were as large as dinner plates, holding the power to crush anything that entered their way. Still, Lily continued toward them. 

Several people had gathered on the side of the playground out of view from the waterfall, watching the scene with interest. Dinah was sitting on a level of the play structure almost ten feet above the people on the ground, clutching a small, gray kitten in her arms; the man was shouting at her to bring it down.

“Lily!”� called Dinah when she spotted her. “This crazy man wants to kill the kitty!”� She jabbed her finger accusingly at the man on the ground, who rounded angrily on Lily; she kept her left hand inside the pocket with her wand. 

“Is that your daughter?”� he barked. Drops of spittle sprayed her face.

“Yes,”� said Lily, out of convenience. She wiped them off.

“Well,”� he said in a patronizing manner, folding his arms over his chest, “you need to tell her to bring that cat down to me this instant. It has an appointment with my big knife.”� 

Though his tone was threatening, Lily noted how well he spoke English; but his accent told her he was no native speaker. 

“For what reason are you hostile toward the animal?”� Lily borrowed the tone of a mother in conflict. 

“He steals from me. Every day that little bastard swipes a fillet of my fish. It’s time for _him_ to be the fillet!”� 

“You are not going to lay a finger on the kitten,”� said Lily forcefully, if only because her wand was at such easy access. “And _what_ gives you reason to think you can scream at and push little girls?”� 

Onlookers--those fluent in English--grew more interested at these words. Probably because of the great size difference between the two in conflict; though Lily was far more powerful than the fisherman. 

“She should not have interfered where she does not belong. If I want to kill a menace, this is my business,”� said the man haughtily. 

Lily almost drew her wand several times during the short pause after what the man said and what she was about to say, but she remembered their crowd.

She settled for, “If you ever touch my daughter or that kitten again, I assure you you’ll regret it.”� 

He took a step toward her. “What are you going to do? You are only a woman.”� 

She’d never felt quite an urge, quite a temptation to pull what she fondly called a ‘James Potter’ on someone as she did when the man’s taunting words reached her ears. The only thing that stopped her from using magic, again, was the crowd of onlookers. 

She resorted to old faithful instead. The man shrieked in pain as Lily’s kneecap jarred his man flesh. The crowd moaned empathetically in pain, except for its women members who very much sided with Lily and Dinah. The latter cheered and laughed from her perch. 

“Only a woman?”� Lily repeated, trying and failing to hide her triumphant smirk. “At least women aren’t thick enough to leave their most sensitive targets unprotected, well in reach of foes.”� 

Swearing and scowling, the man limped away from the scene, abandoning his revenge on the kitten. Lily savored her victory, egged on by the women’s nearby plaudits. 

When Dinah was certain the man would not return, she maneuvered her way back to the ground, kitten remaining tightly in her embrace. 

“Can I keep him?”� were the first words out of her mouth. The crowd, seeing that the excitement had evaporated, moved along on its way, leaving the duo alone in the park. 

“ _Dinah_...”� Lily’s heart wrenched; _she’d_ always wanted a pet as a child, but her mother’s myriad of allergies prohibited it. 

“ _Please_?”� 

It was difficult to turn down such a determined face, especially after the child had gone through the trouble of rescuing the poor thing. Lily caught sight of its face for the first time and wished even more strongly that their budget wasn’t so tight; it was a British Shorthair, Lily’s favorite type of cat. 

“He won’t cost a lot of money!”� promised Dinah quickly, throwing out her only convincing line before Lily gave her verdict. “He hunts his own food like that mean crazy man said and _I_ can make his toys!”� 

“All right,”� said Lily, giving in with a smile. “You can keep him.”� 

“Yay!”� cheered Dinah. She held the kitten in front of her face and addressed him. “You’re going to live with me and Lily now! You can sleep in our bed and eat food I don’t like!”� 

Lily snickered. “He can sleep on _your_ side of the bed.”� 

Dinah stuck her tongue out at her and Lily pulled her hat over her eyes by the rim and ran off laughing toward their bag of food on the rocks. Dinah placed the kitten on the ground beside her feet and he chased her as she followed Lily, shouting playful threats of revenge. 

Two figures concealed in shadow on the rocks surprised the girls when they turned the corner. Dinah cloaked herself behind Lily, whose wand hovered in her hand before them. One of them, distinctly male, opened his mouth to speak. 

“That was quite a show, Evans.”�

O O O


	7. Playground Brawls Part II

**Author’s Note** : I composed this chapter in the shortest amount of time I’ve ever composed a chapter. Two hours! Two freaking hours. I am thoroughly amazed with myself. 

**Dedications** : To an Old English genius!

Shakespeare: You certainly had wit enough. 

**Chapter 6** : Playground Brawls: Part II

Lily’s first instinct was to say (snidely) “Back to Evans, are we?”� because there was no mistaking the voice of James Potter. But she would have seemed childish with that greeting. “What are _you_ doing here?”� came to mind shortly after, but that didn’t feel appropriate either. It gave the impression she thought she had some sort of ownership on the country, and old schoolmates weren’t allowed inside. The winner was “Fancy seeing you here, Potter,”� as it was (so Lily thought) wittily casual. 

Dinah tugged on her sleeve. “Who are they, Lily?”� she said worriedly, prompting the other figure to emerge from the shadows. 

Sirius Black. 

“We’re Lily’s old school friends!”� said Sirius, grinning, and he slung an arm around the neck of his less than amused friend. 

Lily felt a wave of shock and anxiety travel through her when she realized why James was angry. He’d heard her call Dinah her daughter. 

“What are your names?”� asked Dinah meekly, stepping from behind Lily. The kitten rolled happily in the gravel, swatting playfully at passing fireflies. 

“I’m Sirius Black,”� said Sirius, by way of introduction, “and my sad friend here is James Potter.”� James scowled at him.

The child’s eyes expanded and her hand moved to cover her smiling mouth. “I know about you!”� 

Sirius and Lily exchanged smiles. “You do?”� he asked. “Your mum told you stories?”� 

Dinah, like Lily, didn’t bother to correct him. "Yes. She told me that--" Lily's hand covered the child's mouth and she glanced up at James, who looked even more furious. He must have assumed that Lily and Sirius…she didn't even want to think about it. Sirius played the role of Lily's caring older brother and she couldn't imagine it being any other way. 

"So," said Sirius with genuine interest, "what brings you and Lily Jr. to Sierre?" 

Lily giggled, though she caught a nasty glare from James out of the corner of her eye; she was thoroughly enjoying her and Sirius's game. He _had_ to have realized that there was no _way_ Dinah could be her biological daughter. 

"We're on vacation. It's a long story."

"Well, we have quite a long time, don't we?" smiled Sirius, his arm around her shoulders leading her toward the rocks. She sat and Dinah climbed into her lap where she played with a piece of Lily's hair. Sirius took a seat on the rock beside theirs, but James, arms folded in both an angry and pouty manner, remained standing. 

"Story time," requested Sirius, pulling his legs into an embrace. 

Lily smiled and adjusted herself more comfortably before embarking on their tale. "There were… _misfortunes_ this summer," began she, purposely being as vague as possible to continue the game, "and we had to move to new residences, but…they didn't work out. Yesterday I came to have all this extra money--birthday presents--and since the money was meant for a vacation…we took it. After a summer like ours, we definitely needed a change of scenery." 

"I thought you said this was a _long_ story?" remarked James curtly. 

"It would've been _much_ longer," promised she, "if I…had the strength to tell it." Her mood changed so suddenly from lively to melancholy that he couldn't find the anger to comment further. 

"What about you?" She addressed Sirius. "Why are you in Sierre?" 

"James and I always planned to tour Europe after Hogwarts," he explained. "Sierre was a stop on our list of many." 

"How long have you been here?" 

"Only a few hours. We stopped to eat when we arrived, pulled a few pranks on unsuspecting Muggles after"--Lily rolled her eyes--"and worked our way round the town. James, the little boy, couldn't resist the playground when he saw it. So we played… _advanced tag_." 

Lily arched an eyebrow at him. "Advanced tag, huh?" 

"Yep," replied Sirius, changing his hand quickly to a black paw and back; he mock growled at them. Lily half-smiled; she remembered their Animagus forms well from her old friendships with the boys. 

"How did you _do_ that?" spluttered Dinah. "And what's a Muggle?" 

"Questions, questions!" he said. "I can turn _fully_ into a dog and a Muggle is a person who can't do magic." 

"Oh," said Dinah. "Like me." James's attention focused on the child and he glanced up to Lily, who said nothing. 

"Will you turn into a dog?" asked Dinah eagerly. 

Sirius grinned at her. "I might scare the runt." He jabbed his thumb toward the kitten. 

"We can play in the forest!" chirped Dinah, and Lily shot her a warning look. "The play forest," she amended. "Can we?" 

"Yes, Mummy, can we?" joked Sirius, clasping his hands together. 

Lily made a face at him. "Yeah, yeah," she said. As Sirius transformed, the kitten ducked underneath a rock for cover, and Dinah ran off giggling, she called, "Don't kill my kid, Black!" 

Lily and James were alone awkwardly by the colored falls. 

"That was one well-kept secret," he spat, kicking up gravel in anger. 

Lily frowned, growing solemn; it wasn't a game anymore. 

"Who was it?" he growled, swiveling to face her. " _Who is her father_?" 

"I don't know," replied Lily honestly. 

"You don't _know_?" he barked, voice rising. "Are you that much of a _slut_ you don't know who fathered your child?" 

Those words ripped at Lily nerves and feelings. She rose from the rocks and slapped him hard across the face; a crack like a whip sounded. 

"Don't you _dare_ speak to me that way!" she yelled, shocking him out of his sulking. "Are _you_ that much of an _idiot_ that you couldn't realize right away that there is _no way_ Dinah could be my daughter? _Twelve_ , James! I would have given birth at _twelve_! Did I _ever_ look pregnant to you in second year? 

James bowed his head in humiliation and shame. It became obvious to Lily that he _hadn't_ considered this. He'd only seen what he'd seen and heard what he'd heard and gone from there. But Lily could hardly blame him for his assumption; she would have thought the same thing had she been in his place, given the circumstances. Her anger at his remark, however, remained. 

"I…but you called her your daughter…." mumbled James, staring at the gravel. "What was I to think?" 

"She practically _is_ my daughter," said Lily. "She's going to be. And it's more convenient just to tell strangers she is. Then you heard and got jealous…Sirius and I were just joking…."

"Sirius was in on this, then?" snapped James, reverting to jealousy and anger. 

"I noticed _that_ look too," added Lily, annoyed at his subtle accusations. "Sirius and I have _never_ been involved romantically. And yes, he _did_ play along in the joke because _he_ didn't act like a prat when he heard and he _thought_ about the situation. Honestly, James… _twelve_ …." 

James slumped down on a rock and stared at the ground, only nudging the gravel gently with his shoe. "I feel…" He looked at Lily, eyes pleading forgiveness. "I'm so sorry, Lily. I shouldn’t have screamed at you or called you…" he couldn't bring himself to repeat the word, "names. And where…why is the child with you?" 

"She has a name," said Lily with a frown. " _Dinah_." 

"All right," said James, "why is _Dinah_ with you?" 

"I met her at the Surrey orphanage," elaborated Lily. 

"What were _you_ doing in an…" He thought about before when she mentioned misfortunes and cut himself off. 

"I'm an orphan, James." 

She looked away from him, not wanting the small amount of light to reveal the tears collecting in her eyes. James said nothing to her. His heart wrenched for her and he felt an overwhelming urge--no, a _need_ to touch her. He brushed the curtain of hair that had fallen to shield her face from view behind her ear, and she looked at him, tears dripping from her eyes. His arm wrapped around her waist and urged her toward him. Following a moment's pause--her fear stirred--she leaned into his embrace, feeling his lips brush the top of her head. She hadn't been held in such a way since she was a very small child cuddling in her parents' bed at night. And she'd never been shown such affection by someone outside of her family, much less a man. James forgot his anger at her in that moment. His anger at her joke, at her slap, at her lying, at her negligence of him all vanished while he held and comforted her. But the moment lasted for a much shorter amount of time than either of them wished. 

Sirius, in Animagus form, bounded out into the open followed closely by Dinah. James and Lily separated rapidly and moved several inches apart on their rock before their companions took notice; they were glad at the opportunity of laughter when Sirius placed his paws on Dinah's shoulders and licked her face. 

" _Eww_!" she cried, wiping her hands roughly on her cheeks to remove the saliva. Sirius transformed in mid-fall to the ground and collapsed to his back cackling. Dinah tossed a handful of gravel at him and stomped off toward Lily and James. 

"Did you _see_ that?" she demanded, thrusting her finger in Sirius's direction. The two smiled at her and each other. Sirius tiptoed up behind her and poked her sides. She giggled, forgetting her fury, and allowed herself to be lifted into Sirius's lap. 

"James's friends _are_ nice," said Dinah to Lily. "Well…Sirius is. I don't know about Remus." 

"Where is Remus, by the way?" questioned Lily, directed at the boys. "And Peter?" 

"Remus couldn't come with us," said Sirius, "because he…took ill earlier in the summer."

"And Peter's mum has an illness as well," James chimed in. "He's taking care of her until she recovers. She's not doing so well."

Lily felt like their tales had been slightly altered, but she nodded, pretending to accept the explanations. 

"What next?" asked Dinah. "Are we going to go anywhere else?" 

Lily looked to Sirius and James for the answer. "You two up for more?" she teased. "Can you keep up with Dinah?" 

James and Sirius swapped mischievous grins. "The question is, Miss Evans," replied James, "can _you_ keep up with _us_?" 

In a flash the two transformed, tearing off into the distance as a stag and dog. 

"How are we going to catch them?" inquired Dinah. "They're too fast." 

"They'll come back," Lily said, smiling, "when they realize no one's chasing them." 

Sure enough, the stag and dog poked their heads around the side of the playground and, disappointed in the lack of chasing, sauntered over to the girls and transformed into boys again. 

"Lazy girls," muttered James.

"Like we could have caught up to you!" cried Lily. 

"All right, all right," intervened Sirius, "break it up, you two." He faced James. "Can I speak to you alone for a second?" 

Lily stuck her nose in the air, pretending to be offended, but gave up her act a moment later and waved the boys off. She and Dinah scooted off to their own section of the playground to chat. 

"What are they talking about?" asked Dinah, peering around Lily's sides to try and glimpse them. "Us?" 

"Probably," laughed Lily. She peeked over her shoulder, smiling still. 

Observing this, Dinah asked, "Do you still like James?" 

Her smile drooped. "I don't know."

"He's _grumpy_ ," said Dinah, folding her arms in disapproval. "He doesn't seem so nice when you meet him; he was better in your story." 

"He was grumpy because he thought you were my daughter."

"But aren't I now?" she said. "And why would that make him _mad_?" She gave James a nasty look he didn't see, blatantly displaying her annoyance with him. 

Lily set a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Almost. Papers just need to be signed. And it made him angry because he thought you were my blood child and he wasn't the father." 

"Why does it matter?"

"Because it would mean that another man made love to me," blushed Lily

Dinah reddened too, making a sickened face at the same time. "He wants to _do_ that with you?"

Lily started to shrug, but considered what Dinah said and grew somewhat offended. "What's that supposed to mean? That he _shouldn't_ want to? Am I _that_ unattractive?" 

"You're pretty!" said Dinah with haste. "But that stuff is… _icky_."

Lily chuckled. "Give it ten years. 'Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit.'" 

Dinah's nose wrinkled in confusion. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" 

Lily smiled. "You'll find out someday."

"I want to know no--" She cut herself off upon the arrival of James and Sirius beside Lily. 

"What've you been talking about?" questioned Lily. 

"James wants to explore the city in pairs," said Sirius; "He with you, and Dinah with me." 

James avoided Lily's gaze, clearly embarrassed by his request. 

Lily pulled Dinah close. "No," she answered, and James chanced looking at her; their eyes met and he frowned. "She's never been away from me before. This is a large city. Something could happen." She excluded her fear of being alone--truly alone, not just for a few short moments--with James. Not that she necessarily thought he would try anything; the simple fact he was male frightened her. 

"Lily," said Sirius in the manner of a car salesman closing in on a deal, "don't you trust me to look after her? I've got my wand. I'm prepared for anything. And," he added in a low whisper, "James is keen on chatting with you in private." 

Lily's eyes moved from Sirius to Dinah to James and back to Sirius again; she bit her lower lip anxiously. "You…you promise you'll watch her every moment? I…I don't know what I'll do if--"

"You can count on me," he vowed, interrupting her. 

Lily crouched down next to Dinah and engulfed her in an embrace. “Be careful,”� she whispered. “Don’t walk away from Sirius. I mean it.”� 

“I won’t, Lily,”� she promised. “You don’t have to worry.”� 

Watching Sirius walk away hand in hand with Dinah (who held the gray kitten) was one of the hardest things Lily had done at that point in her life. Her mind screamed out to chase after them and snatch Dinah’s hand back, to wrap her tightly within the confines of her jacket, protected from the dangers of the unfamiliar city. But her body wouldn’t hear of it. It knew that though her mind wanted Dinah back with her, safely in sight, it also wanted to be near James and listen to what he wanted to discuss with her. He waited until Sirius and Dinah turned the corner to speak. 

“Stop looking so scared,”� he said, noting her expression as her eyes rested in the spot they’d been just seconds before. “She’s perfectly safe with Sirius.”� 

Lily wrung her hands anxiously, eyes darting from James to the ground to the play area. “I know...but it’s...hard not to worry. She’ll come back to me all right, I know, but she hasn’t left my sight since I’ve been with her....”� 

James smiled at her. “You’ll have to master this skill, letting her off on her own, if you’re to be her mother.”�

Lily collapsed onto a nearby bench. “Yes, I know.”� 

“No matter how much you want to stay near her,”� he added. “Trust me, I know the feeling.”� 

“You have a younger sibling?”� 

“No,”� he said darkly. “But I do have you.”� 

“Me?”� echoed Lily, startled. “How do I fit into this at all?”�

“Well, imagine I’m in your place and you’re in Dinah’s. I care for you, my daughter-to-be, very much and you seem to care for me--”�

“Dinah doesn’t _seem_ to care for me!”� cried Lily, hurt. “She _does_ care!”� 

“Just listen. This isn’t about her at all. All right, so I’m you, you’re Dinah, we seem to have some mutual affection going on and then--BOOM! My little Dinah’s not speaking to me anymore. She broke promises to me, scurries away from me every chance I get to talk with her and simply appears to want nothing to do with me, even though I’ve been very kind to her and thought I’d been a good friend as well.”�

He definitely wasn’t talking about Lily and Dinah’s possible future, she realized. He was talking about Lily and James’s past, and with much mingled sadness, hurt feelings, anger, and annoyance. 

“I--I didn’t break any promises!”� said Lily indignantly. 

“You did,”� James made clear. “Does this sound familiar? _I’ll give you my answer at breakfast tomorrow_!”� He imitated her in falsetto. “Breakfast tomorrow _my ass_ ,”� he muttered contemptuously. “You weren’t even _at_ breakfast!”� 

“For _good reason_!”� snapped Lily.

“ _Oh_?”� James’s eyebrows shot up, feigning surprise. “Would you mind sharing with the class?”� 

“ _Yes_ ,”� growled Lily. “I _would_ mind.”� 

“Why don’t you just come out and _say_ it?”� yelled James. “You weren’t a _damn bit_ interested in me!”� 

“That’s not it at _all_!”� she shouted back. 

“Then _where were you_? Why didn’t you accept my offer if you cared for me?”�

“I wasn’t in the best of conditions for a date,”� she said, lowering her voice. 

“What do you mean? Were you sick? If you were sick, we could have just gone another time. Why--”�

“I wasn’t sick, James,”� she whispered, bowing her head. 

Again, he let go of his anger and placed a hand on her back. “What was it, then? Come on--you can tell me.”� 

“Not here,”� she implored. “Not in public.”� 

“Is it really that serious?”� He appeared somewhat worried. 

Lily nodded. 

“We can go to your hotel, then,”� said James, rising from the bench. He offered his hand. Skittishly, she slid hers into his and he pulled her to her feet. 

“But how will Dinah and Sirius know where to meet us? They won’t know we’ve gone back to our hotel.”� 

James dug into the left pocket of his baggy pants and fished out a small, rectangular mirror. 

“Sirius,”� said he, and the boy’s face appeared on the surface. 

“Yeah?”� he answered. They heard Dinah’s excited chatter in the background. 

“When you finish showing Dinah the sights, bring her round to their hotel.”� 

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at his friend, who flicked the image of his face. 

“That’s _not_ the reason.”� Lily turned crimson and tottered on her feet. “We’re just going to discuss things that are better said in private.”� He turned to Lily. “What’s the address of your hotel?”�

“I don’t know the exact address, but it’s on the end of Roselint Street.”�

“Hear that?”� asked James of Sirius. “End of Roselint. Bring her in around an hour.”�

“Should I stop by a pharmacy as well?”� smirked his friend. “‘O, here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad!’”� 

James’s eyes rolled skyward and he cleared the mirror, tucking it back in his pocket. 

“Dirty mind, he has,”� he mumbled, lacing his fingers with hers. 

“But you know,”� considered Lily as they started walking, “it _does_ seem like we’re planning... _that_ , though, doesn’t it?”� 

“Yeah,”� he admitted, uneasy with their subject of conversation. “But we’re not going to--?”�

“Oh, no,”� promised Lily hastily, thinking of the story she was about to tell for the second time that day, though much more in-depth. She repeated, drawling the first vowel,

“ _O_ h, no.”� 

O O O


	8. Her Story Unfolds

**Dedications** : To my own fictional character! (Wow, I’ve lost it!)

Torin: Seeing how much of your story I have yet to piece together scared me back to the safe, uncomplicated realm of fanfiction. 

**Chapter 7** : Her Story Unfolds

Because of their discussion on Sirius’s implications about their true intentions for going to Lily’s hotel, the walk to a trolley and the ride on said trolley passed in silence. The only reminder Lily had of his presence while she thought was the warm flesh of his palm pressed against hers. Their hands separated when they approached the hotel’s front doors and Lily held one open for him. She ascended the staircase first, leading the way, and he took up the rear, eyes darting over the animated wallpaper as he walked. 

They entered her room and she locked the door, rotating to see him facing her. She leaned her back against the door as her legs began to tremble and shake; a panic attack approached. 

“Lily?”� came his concerned voice. “Are you...all right?”� 

She shook her head roughly and sank into a sitting position, burying her face within the protective loop created by her arms when they encircled her knees. James knelt down in front of her and laid his hand near her shoulder blades. 

“What’s the matter? Do you feel sick?”� 

Lily’s clothing muffled her no. 

“What is it, then? I can’t help unless you tell me what’s bothering you.”�

“ _You_ ,”� she cried, but the clothing again distorted her speech and he didn’t hear her. 

“Pardon?”� 

Wearily, she lifted her head and stared him in the eyes. “You,”� she repeated in a whisper. 

He was taken aback. “ _Me_? What have _I_ done?”� 

“Nothing,”� she replied, shaking her head. She rubbed her fingers roughly over her forehead, trying to calm her throbbing head. “But you’ll...understand when I finish my story.”� 

“I want to understand _now_ ,”� he said firmly. “I want to understand why you’re reacting like this.”� 

“You will, James,”� she promised; her heart beat steadied finally. “Just let me tell the story.”� 

The tone of her voice carried finality. James, though firstly curious about her reaction, nodded his head, satisfied that he would find out in due time; at least his original issue, the one that had bothered him for many long months, was going to be cleared up at last. 

“Do you remember the night the last Quidditch match of the season was canceled? The night it hailed?”�

“Yeah,”� he said nostalgically. “We were so close to the Cup; we only needed to take down the Slytherins.”� He’d done part of the job for her.

“Funny you should mention them,”� quavered Lily, “the Slytherins.”� 

James frowned. Lily allowed a small chunk of time to pass before she continued; before she defied her Headmaster’s wishes. But had he really placed his command permanently? He hadn’t even made Lily promise not to tell James--only Sirius and Remus. Somehow telling him, though, despite this fact, seemed wrong. Professor Dumbledore had obviously not wanted the two boys to reveal the happenings of the December night, so why wouldn’t this apply to Lily herself, as well? She went over the situation again, briefly. 

Maybe he hadn’t prohibited _her_ from telling James because he _wanted_ Lily to be the one who told him. 

“Why?”� asked James awkwardly. “What do Slytherins have to do with this?”�

“Remember dinner that night?”� she questioned. She took a steady route to the subject.

“Didn’t we eat together?”�

“We did,”� she confirmed. “And do you recall what happened _during_ dinner?”� Lily felt like an interrogator on a crime show. 

“Besides food eating?”� he joked. Her face remained impassive and he grew solemn. “No...not off the top of my head....”�

“Malfoy came to our table,”� she reminded him. “He made a rude comment.”� 

“And?”� he asked impatiently after a pause. “Where are you going with this?”� 

His impatience both annoyed her and made her nervous. She felt that the seriousness of the story had been established and he had no right to be impatient with her. Then she wondered if maybe she wasn’t approaching the subject correctly. She didn’t want to catapult him in and overwhelm him with emotion, but his comment made her think she was moving too slowly. 

“Well, he made a nasty comment about me,”� she said rapidly, but slowed her next words when she remembered what subject she was rushing to, “and you defended me. You basically called Narcissa harlot and told him that I was more pure of body than she...oh, _James_!”� she cried. “Can’t you see where this is going?”�

James’s brow furrowed; he seemed to be trying to decipher the hidden meaning of her words. “I’ve got nothing, Lily. You’ll have to explain. I’m completely at a loss.”� 

Lily had feared this would happen. She’d only wanted to tell so much of the story, hoping that he would catch on and she’d collapse, sobbing, into his arms to be comforted. Why was this so much harder to explain to him than she’d expected? 

“ _His_ girlfriend was cheating on him, James,”� said Lily desperately, imploring him to understand with as little explanation on her part as possible. “You pointed this out to him and you alluded to me being a virgin. Don’t you think that would anger him?”�

“What’s your _point_?”� he cried. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me!”� 

Her old annoyance at him flared. “How could you _not_? James, I’ve done everything I possibly could to explain it to you without saying it outright!”� Like on the morning her parents died, she was feeling sudden mood changes. Moments ago everything had been fine--friendly. Why did she have to get angry with him so easily?

“Say it, Lily,”� he snapped. “Stop beating around the bloody bush and _say it_!”� 

She slowed her breathing before speaking; his outburst had startled her. 

“He... _defiled_ me,”� she whispered so softly he scarcely heard. “You told him that I was a virgin, more pure than his own girlfriend, --you taunted him--so he made sure I wasn’t so...so pure anymore.”� 

The words came without tears, without a quaver. She told him unflinchingly of her experience, eye to eye. Now that the words were said, she waited anxiously, bracing herself for his reaction. 

His expression was, at first, shocked and furious. He clenched his fists and breathed heavily, thoughts charging wildly through his head. 

“Wha....”� he heaved, staring at her with wide, lost, hurt, confused eyes. “Wh....”� he tried again, but lacked words. He buried his face in the sanctuary of his palms, massaging--though more squeezing--his temples. Lily offered a hand for his shoulder, but he brushed it away on impact. 

She wanted so much to comfort him. She wanted to tell him she cared for him; and that she was getting over the rape; and how much she wished there was a way to go back and fix it all. She hated that he was angry with her still about Hogsmeade. She hated that she hadn’t had the courage to speak to him afterward, to apologize for their misunderstanding, and to clear things up between them. Their meeting wasn’t what she had imagined or wanted at all. She wanted for him to be so excited, so elated to see her that the whole of their unpleasant seventh year drifted away into the background where it would remain while they began a new, pleasant relationship together. She hadn’t wanted him to appear after she screamed at a stranger about a daughter that mislead him into their scream-fests that probably awoke half of Sierre. Why couldn’t she have a romance novel-esque love? Didn’t she deserve one, after all she’d been through?

Her thoughts of love, rape, and James scurried into far away corners of her mind as loud knocks sounded on the wood of the door behind her. 

“Who’s there?”� called James hoarsely. 

“It’s Sirius,”� came the answer. Lily stood, unlocked and opened the door for their friend. 

As soon as a sufficient space opened in the doorway, Dinah darted inside and clung to Lily’s waist, burying her face inside of her jacket. 

Lily looked at Sirius. “You’re back so early. What happened? Is she all right?”� She bent to inspect the child. 

“I’m all right,”� said Dinah. 

“Why aren’t you out enjoying Sierre with Sirius, then?”� asked Lily, raising an eyebrow. 

Dinah whispered into her ear, “James.”�

“What about him?”� Lily whispered back. Sirius walked past the girls to James, who had moved to the bed since the arrival of the others. 

“I thought he might try to hurt you,”� replied the child, concerned. “I didn’t want you to be alone with him.”�

“ _Dinah_ ,”� groaned Lily, annoyed at the intrusion now, “James is a _good guy_. He would _never_ hurt me.”� However, the child’s concern was touching.

“Are you _sure_?”� said Dinah dubiously. 

“Yes,”� said Lily, exasperated. “ _Very_. You don’t have to worry.”� 

“Were you kissing him?”� asked Dinah accusingly. 

“No,”� she snapped. “We were talking about something very important! Why did you have to--”� she finished her sentence with a growl and clamped her hand to her forehead. 

Dinah stared guiltily at the carpet. Sirius walked back over to them, sensing the conflict, and set a hand on Lily’s shoulder. 

“Sorry about arriving early,”� he said earnestly. “Dinah wouldn’t change her mind. She was so worried that something bad was going to happen to you, Lily. I just wanted to show her you were okay....I know you and James were in the middle of something.”� 

His expression and tone were serious. He made no sexual implications whatsoever; James must have told him what he’d just found out. 

“It’s all right,”� said Lily. “I’m just glad Dinah’s back safely.”� She smiled at her in hopes of letting her know she’d overreacted before. 

“You’re not mad anymore?”� she asked. 

“No,”� Lily answered and held out her arms for the child. Relieved, she embraced Lily, who carried her to the bed where James sat in a flood of thought. 

“Lily?”� he said quietly, turning his head in her direction. She moved to sit beside him. 

“Yes?”� 

James struggled for words. “He didn’t...didn’t...fully...did he....?”�

Lily looked to Sirius for assistance; she didn’t quite understand what he was trying to ask. Sirius only mouthed, “Think.”� It took only a few moments for his meaning to become clear. 

“Yes, James,”� she whispered as the kitten, whom Lily hadn’t even noticed enter the room, leaped onto the bed to join them. Dinah scooped him up for cuddling. 

“I”�--he gathered chunks of the comforter in his fists--“I’m going to...to....”� He couldn’t come up with a dreadful enough act of revenge. 

“Trust me, mate,”� said Sirius gently, “he’s been properly punished. You think Remus and I would leave Lily unavenged?”� 

“You _knew_?”� croaked James incredulously. “You knew _all along_?”� 

“Remus and I were the ones who got the bastard off of her,”� said Sirius defensively. “Of course I knew.”�

James rose from the bed in rage, his wand directed at Sirius. “You knew and you _kept_ it from me for so long?”� he shouted. Sirius seemed unaffected by the threat of James’s wand.

“James, put your wand away!”� ordered Lily. Dinah backed against the headboard of the bed, shielding her pet. 

Sirius replied, “Dumbledore’s orders. He made us swear not to tell. Now put that away before you jab someone’s eye out.”�

“How did Dumbledore find out about it?”� He kept his wand in place. 

Lily, who didn’t feet at all comfortable being in range of spell, marched up to him, snatched his wand from him and tossed it to the floor. 

“If you calm down, we’ll tell you everything.”�

“ _Calm down_?”� he parroted incredulously. “My--you were... _raped_! How in the world am I supposed to calm down?”� 

She cupped his cheek, which surprised away some of his fury. “Please, James, sit down. Just take a few deep breaths and prepare for the rest of my story. You’re not going to enjoy it at all, and it’ll probably leave you more angry than you are now, but you need to hear it.”�

The urgency of her words sat him on the floor where he crossed his legs. She sat beside him.

“Try not to make comments until I finish,”� she requested. “I don’t want to veer off track and have to repeat myself. Reliving that night is painful enough.”�

He nodded, accepting her terms.

Her full tale unraveled. She spoke of her attempt to return to the Gryffindor Common Room and how Malfoy had attacked her from behind a tapestry long before she’d reached the seventh floor. She spoke of the way he’d thrown her into the nearest empty classroom and ordered her to be silent. She spoke of the names he’d called her and the threats he’d scared her with. She spoke of the way his hands assumed ownership of her body and how she’d had to lie there and take it. She spoke of the next order he’d given her, to take off her clothes, and the humiliation she’d undergone as she fulfilled his order while he watched, his lingering wand the only thing forcing her to comply. She spoke of the rough way he’d entered her and how she’d cried out in pain at her bleeding wound. She then spoke of seeing Nearly Headless Nick and her relief at the prospect of rescue; also a relief was nearing the end of her story. 

Sirius took over at this point, relieving Lily of her obvious distress, and told James of how Nick had found him and Remus and they’d rushed with the ghost to the classroom, unlocked the door, and kicked Malfoy away from Lily just in time. He filled him in on every detail of the happenings of that night, including his throttling of Malfoy, Dumbledore appearing, and visiting Lily in the Hospital Wing.

By the time they finished the story, everyone in the room felt exhausted. The boys, especially James as the information was new to him, were in no condition to rent a room of their own, so Lily permitted them to share hers and Dinah’s for the night, provided they transfigured their own cots away from the girls’ bed. This they agreed to and while Sirius was setting up his and James’s cots, the latter stayed on Lily’s side of the room for a talk. 

“I...don’t know what to say,”� he whispered. “I don’t know how to react, how to comfort you, how to pay Malfoy back....”� 

“James”�--she turned his head with her forefinger to face her--“he’s _been_ paid back. Sirius and Remus did it twice, Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall did it, the _law_ did it....”�

“The _law_?”� he choked. “Are you telling me the law did ill to a Malfoy?”� 

“There was too much evidence, James,”� said Lily. “He had no way of getting off. Besides, Dumbledore went to court with me; how could I have lost?”�

They remained silent for a minute or two. Lily held his hand and stroked his palm with her thumb while he thought, hoping to give him a small amount of comfort. Suddenly the silence was over and his hand rested on her shoulder. 

“You’re...you’re...all right, aren’t you?”� he asked, giving her the same lost, overwhelmed and confused look he’d given earlier. “I mean, it doesn’t still...you’re getting better?”�

She covered the hand on her shoulder with her own; the affectionate gesture took him by surprise. 

“I’m getting there, James.”�

O O O


	9. Arrested

**Author’s Note** : I love this chapter! -does a jig- 

**Dedications** : To a Greek goddess!

My wonderful, fantastic muse: You need a plaque, or something. 

**Chapter 8** : Arrested

For the second day in a row, Lily was awakened by shoulder shaking. Sirius hovered over her while she yawned and groggily blinked her eyes. 

“What do you--?”� she started, but halted at the sight of two middle-aged, uniformed Sierren policemen standing beside the bathroom door. Dinah, looking frightened and sad, stood dressed and ready (clutching her kitten) with her backpack between them. 

“What’s going on?”� Lily breathed, sitting up and rising out of bed. James threw her a nasty stare from the corner where he stood handcuffed. 

“You stole this child,”� said the accented policeman on Dinah’s left. “We are taking you to airport where you will return to Little Whinging.”�

“I did _not_ \--”� began Lily hotly. 

Sirius covered her mouth. “It’s best to stay silent,”� he whispered. “You’ll get your chance to speak in court.”�

“ _Court_?”� 

Lily began to tremble.

“Pack your things,”� commanded the policeman on Dinah’s right. “We will go this instant.”�

Trembling still, Lily nodded and unzipped her duffel bag, which laid beside the bed. While making sure the policemen didn’t catch sight of the wizard currency, she gathered the small pile of Knuts from the carpet. She realized that what she was feeling--shock, anxiety, fear, confusion--must have been similar to what James experienced the evening before. She scurried into the bathroom to check for anything she might have left; she bowed her head when passing the policemen. Once she was certain she’d packed everything (thirty seconds later) she slung her bag over her shoulder. 

“Give me the bag,”� ordered the Left Policeman unexpectedly. “You are not permitted to carry of it.”�

Without making eye contact, Lily handed the bag by the strap to the man. The Right Policeman snatched her hand roughly, surprising her, and slapped a handcuff onto her wrist. He connected her to Sirius. 

They marched from the room, she and Sirius, of course, walking side-by-side, sandwiched with James (the Left Policeman led and held Dinah’s unwilling hand) between the policemen. While they trudged down the hallway, Dinah glanced longingly at Lily several times over her shoulder. Other glances she received weren’t so friendly. In addition to James’s constant scowls from her left, Lily had to endure the hard, unpitying, disapproving faces of the lobby-goers while they made their way to the front desk to return the room key. The man at the desk refunded Lily for the week she’d paid for, charging her only for the night she stayed. 

Even worse than the embarrassing saunter through the hotel was having to enter a police car (there were two--one for Dinah and Left Policeman and one for Lily, James, Sirius, and Right Policeman). People crowded around the cars and craned their necks to see who was entering them. Some even pressed their faces against the tinted windows for a better look after the trio was buckled in the back seat. Their policeman had to honk the horn several times to clear the area enough so they could pull away. 

The only fortunate thing about their situation was the glass divider between the front and back seats. 

“You _kidnapped_ Dinah?”� growled James. “What the _fuck_ was going on in your head?”� 

Lily shoved him against the door with her free hand. “I did _not_ kidnap her! Do I _look_ like a criminal?”� 

“If you didn’t do it,”� he said bad-temperedly, “why the hell would they be accusing us of it?”� 

“Well, I...I _suppose_ it might seem that way,”� admitted Lily shamefully, “to the women at the orphanage.”�

“You have five minutes,”� threatened James, “to explain before they’ll really have something to lock me up for.”� 

Lily spat in his face for his threat; he shoved her into Sirius. 

“Oi!”� he snapped. “Cease-fire!”� 

Lily and James exchanged looks of venom before she began another story. 

“On my way to the orphanage, my neighbor--who brought me there; my sister kicked me out of my house--promised me she would bring the jewelry my mother left me the next morning. She found my birthday present--money for a skiing trip--in my mother’s safe along with the jewelry and brought it to me as well. Of course, I hated the idea of staying at the orphanage until my eighteenth birthday, so I decided to take my vacation early. By this time I had already met Dinah and I couldn’t bear to leave her behind; she was so crushed when she heard I was leaving.”� 

“You ran away together?”� said Sirius, looking hopeful. “That’s...a little better. Dinah’ll tell this to the jury and we _might_ get off easy.”�

“What are _you_ fretting about?”� said Lily bitterly. “You weren’t involved. _Either_ of you,”� she added pointedly to grouchy James. 

“Yes,”� conceded Sirius, “but the jury won’t believe that. It definitely looked like James and I were involved.”�

“I’m going to tell them you weren’t,”� said Lily. “I’m going to tell them the whole, complete truth so we can clear this mess up.”� 

“You don’t have to,”� said Sirius brusquely. “We’ll take the blame. You won’t be in trouble at all.”�

James grunted in protest from Lily’s left. Lily smiled gratefully at Sirius. 

“No. Thanks for the offer, but it wouldn’t work even if I were interested; the women at the orphanage know you weren’t there.”� 

“I could say I kidnapped the both of you,”� he offered, looking earnest.

“No, Sirius,”� she said, chuckling. “I’ll stick with the real story, thanks.”�

“But I know how much you love Dinah,”� he pressed. “If you have a criminal record, whether you were guilty or not, I can guarantee you won’t be allowed to adopt her.”�

Lily sighed. “Even so, I couldn’t anyway. I’ve got no money, no job, no house, no car....”�

A tear rolled unnoticed by Sirius down her cheek. James, however, saw it. He didn’t feel so angry at her when he realized just how desperate her situation was. She would--once her fate was decided in court--quickly run out of money once she settled down into a normal life. She was unable, anyway, _to_ settle into a normal life _because_ of her lack of funds. And she was being convicted of a felony presently, which would destroy any chance she might have of rebuilding her life. She would also never have Dinah, who, James knew, meant the world to Lily. 

‘ _Damn her_ ,’ he thought, annoyed. ‘ _Two minutes of pondering leaves me feeling_ sorry _for her_.’ It occurred to him then that he was acting awfully rude about a girl for whom he thought he cared a great deal. 

‘ _She doesn’t care about me_ ,’ he dismissed. ‘ _She didn’t even have the decency to explain things last year. She only cares about herself. Herself and her own feelings. She doesn’t give a damn about me. Only Dinah and Sirius and...just about anyone who’s not James Potter_.’ He stole a glance at her; she looked terrified. Her hands trembled and she kept playing with her hair while she glanced at their passing surroundings. 

‘Why _doesn’t she care_?’ he wondered. 

The car rolled to a stop in the parking lot of Sierre’s airport. The policeman turned off the engine and opened the door on James’s side of the car. The three--awkwardly because of the handcuffs--shuffled from the back seat and stood before the policeman, who carried Lily’s bag on his shoulder. 

“You will not wear the handcuffs for the airplane ride,”� he said, and unlocked both sets of cuffs. They were all glad, especially James, to have full use of their hands again. 

They followed Right Policeman around the building to the back, where a small plane waited for them; Dinah was presently being escorted into an identical one beside it. 

“Lily!”� she cried when she caught sight of her. She made a move to run, but Left Policeman snagged her backpack and hurried her into the plane. 

Lily hung her head to drape her hair around her face; she didn’t want the others to see her tears.

There were ten seats on the plane. Lily, James, and Sirius, though, still had to cram into a row in the back. 

“I will sit here,”� said Right Policeman, pointing to a seat in the front row. “We will arrive in two hours.”�

Lily slumped into the seat by the window and turned away from the boys, showing her back. She reclined her chair and curled up to sleep away their journey. James took the middle seat and Sirius, the aisle. 

“What are we going to do to help her?”� whispered Sirius. “She’s innocent. We can’t let them lock her up for this.”�

“What _can_ we do?”� mumbled James. “We’ll tell the truth and hope things work out.”� 

Sirius snorted. “Great plan, Prongs,”� he whispered sarcastically. “Very optimistic of you.”�

“What?”� hissed James. “What’s wrong with telling the truth? We _might_ get off!”� 

“Yeah. And pigs _might_ swim out of my arse. We need a _game plan_! Think of this like a Quidditch match!”�

“These are Muggles,”� James pointed out, irritated. 

“ _And_? We’re not really playing Quidditch, you dolt!”� 

“What’s your plan, then?”� sighed James, uninterested. 

“We lie,”� said Sirius bluntly. “We tell the jury we kidnapped them. Then Lily will get off and she can still adopt Dinah.”�

“That’s a nice gesture and all,”� said James, “but what happens to _us_?”�

Sirius grinned. “You think we couldn’t bust out of a _Muggle_ prison?”� 

“I don’t think we can pull it off,”� said James doubtfully. “We don’t know how to act like criminals.”�

Sirius gave a careless wave. “How hard can it be? Just look fierce; no smiling.”�

“Why are you so keen on getting Lily off, anyway?”� asked James suspiciously.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I don’t fancy her, mate. She’s your kind of girl, not mine.”� 

“Why, then?”� insisted James. “Why are you willing to go to Muggle prison for her?”� 

Sirius sobered. “You didn’t see her that night.”� James knew he meant the night of the rape. “You didn’t see her looking more terrified than you thought was possible. You didn’t have her recoil at your touch. You didn’t see her sobbing in the Hospital Wing, like everything had been yanked away from her.”� His expression was determined. “I’m not letting Dinah be taken away from her.”�

James’s mind drifted fleetingly to her late parents. A balloon of pity--of slight affection--for Lily took residence within him, inflating with each passing second. 

“I’ll do it,”� he announced, equally determined as his friend to make sure Lily’s incoming adult life was as pleasant as she deserved. 

\- - - 

When the plane landed in Little Whinging’s airport, it was midday. The sunlight beamed through the windows of the plane, replacing the less vibrant rays of morning. James placed a hand on Lily’s shoulder, gently waking her. She rubbed her eyes, stretched and yawned before inquiring as to their whereabouts. 

“We’ve arrived in Little Whinging,”� he mumbled to her, eyeing nearby Right Policeman. “Come on. Let’s go.”� 

Lily’s sleeve caught her eye as she set her hand on the chair before her to raise herself; she was still wearing the--now slightly wrinkled--clothes from the night before. 

While descending the small flight of stairs leading from the plane, Lily felt James’s fingers brush hers in an attempt to hold her hand. She gave him a confused look and he smiled sheepishly in response. Lily didn’t permit him to hold her hand. She tucked it hastily into her jacket pocket after snatching it away from him and refused to make eye contact with him; she wasn’t about to warm up to him after his attitude in the car. This, rather than making James regret his behavior, only ignited his off-and-on annoyance with her and he, too, jammed his hands in his pockets, and threw a scowl in her direction. Sirius, observing from nearby, chuckled at their interaction. 

A short, stout policeman wearing a tan uniform stitched with the Little Whinging law enforcement emblem waddled toward them in a penguin-like fashion from the back entrance to the airport, cramming the last bite of a doughnut into his mouth and rolling his tongue over his sticky fingers to clean them of residue. He and the Swiss policeman nodded politely at each other when he reached them. 

“I’ll take over from here, Officer,”� said the policeman from Little Whinging, and the Swiss policeman headed back toward the waiting airplane. The new policeman watched the teens suspiciously while they walked, standing behind them to make certain none of them tried to take a run for it. Lily wondered where Left Policeman had taken Dinah; the thought carried in a wave of depression. 

The stout man’s office was in the back of the building, far out of view of the bustling travelers, eager to board their planes. 

“Where’s Dinah?”� said Lily without thinking. 

The policeman raised an eyebrow. “She is being interrogated as we speak in the office of my colleague.”� He gestured with his hand to the wall on his right, indicating that the office was next door. 

“Wait...”� Sirius rose from his seat, puzzled. “being interrogated already? Aren’t we going to court? A hearing, at least?”� 

“You’re all going to be interrogated here,”� said the policeman. 

“But why?”� pressed Sirius, disappointed at the news. 

Sirius’s relentless determination ensued the same effects on everyone who experienced it. It used to really rile up McGonagall back when he took her Transfiguration class; he contradicted anything and everything he found wrong with her teaching methods, the textbook, and the techniques of the Slytherins. The policeman was as fond of his presence as McGonagall, especially when he was supposed to be a criminal. 

“It is not the custom of our judicial system to embark on a case in this manner so quickly,”� his tone made clear that he didn’t approve of the circumstances, “but those with greater authority than I insist that this be taken care of here in the airport. Doesn’t think it’s worth it to bring you to court.”� 

“Pardon,”� said Lily, too cautious to allow the eager relief to flood her, “but who doesn’t think it’s worth it to bring us to court?”� 

An odd expression took over the man’s face, though not out of annoyance at the teens. “A strange bloke...he popped in for a mo’ to get the child. He’s dressed very... _uniquely_. Came with the Prime Minister, of course. He’s got the longest hair and beard I’ve seen on a man in all my years; he could really use a haircu--”�

“Pardon,”� interrupted James; the policeman appeared annoyed at the intrusion. “Who is this man? What is his name?”� 

“You should know,”� chided the policeman. “He says he’s very close to all of you.”� 

Lily began to tremble again. ‘ _It couldn’t be_ ,’ she thought, ‘ _but it_ has _to be_. _I never knew he involved himself in Muggle affairs, or knew the Prime Minister....Then again, he knows_ everyone _and everyone knows_ him.’

The policeman had no need to answer. Because, as though to answer for himself--as though he’d heard James’s question through the walls (which would have surprised no one)--Albus Dumbledore strolled through the office door, smiling at all in welcome, with Dinah in tow, just visible behind the many layers of his bright purple robes.

O O O


	10. Surprises, Surprises

**Author’s Note** : Dinah’s kitty has a name! I told one of you about the book I saw the picture of the original gray British Shorthair in ( _101 Cataclysms for Cat Lovers_ ) before, and I came across it again in Costco! (Then again in Target) so I found the kitten again and... _borrowed_ his name! They list all the cats’ names in the book. If any of you see the book when you’re perusing the bookshelves, be sure to flip to page...7, I think it was, and find the adorable gray kitten and coo over his cuteness. 

**Dedications** : Same Greek goddess!

My muse: You keep allowing me to turn chapters out so quickly. How can I dedicate to anyone but you?

**Chapter 9** : Surprises, Surprises

Dinah zipped in front of Dumbledore and sat herself in Lily’s lap, grinning broadly. 

“You’re not going to jail!”� she chirped, slinging an arm around her neck. Lily grinned as well at the news; if Dumbledore was on their side, they’d be just fine. 

Dinah’s little gray kitten strolled leisurely through the door, attracting the eyes of all present; he paused near where Dumbledore stood and stretched. 

“I named him!”� announced Dinah, back to her bubbly state now that she’d been assured that everything would be all right. “Maximus!”� 

Maximus looked up at his owner and mewed. 

“Maximus?”� Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Isn’t that a bit formal?”�

Dinah shrugged. “I saw it on a desk in the other room. It sounded good to me.”�

“Max,”� Sirius suggested with the same relieved smile. 

Dinah leaned and scratched the kitten’s ears. “Max,”� she agreed. 

“Aren’t you going to speak to Professor Dumbledore?”� James broke in, frowning at their rudeness. Though Lily thought he was no one to scrutinize the manners of others.

Dumbledore chuckled. “Thank you, James. But the girls deserve their reunion.”�

The policeman watched them with crossed arms and a pursed lip from behind the desk. “Enough reunions, Sir,”� he said waspishly. “We have an interrogation to conduct!”� 

“Certainly,”� agreed Dumbledore. “Lily, James, Sirius, come with me.”�

Lily took one last look at the policeman before following Dumbledore from the room; he harrumphed at her. Rather than taking them to the next door office, Dumbledore halted the group outside of the office they’d just exited. 

“Where’s the Prime Minister?”� asked Sirius, glancing all around the hallway. “That bloke said she came with you.”� 

“She’s in Officer Maximus’s office having tea,”� replied Dumbledore, indicating the office in which he’d interrogated Dinah. “And I’d prefer it if you didn’t refer to Officer Mediro as ‘that bloke’ while you’re in the airport. I imagine he wouldn’t find it particularly respectful.”� 

Sirius nodded.

Dumbledore addressed Lily. “I need you to tell me everything important that’s happened during the last two days.”�

Lily nodded and spilled her tale, feeling very tired of constantly sharing stories, simultaneously reliving their events, which usually proved tiring and occasionally saddening. She did, as promised, vouch for the boys, who couldn’t have spun their lie about kidnapping in the presence of Dumbledore, whether Lily was in the room or not. Reaching the end of yet another story didn’t take quite as long as any of them--except perhaps Dumbledore--expected, and they were left standing in silence in the hall not long after entering it. 

“Right, then,”� said Dumbledore cheerfully after she finished. “Your story matches Dinah’s exactly. There’s no case, just as I suspected.”�

“What about running away from the orphanage?”� asked Lily. “Aren’t I to be punished for that?”�

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Would you like to be?”� 

Lily blushed. “No, of course not. But...how is it possible that I’m getting off so easily?”� 

“What you did, because a bona fide kidnapping did not occur, was a very minor offense. Under the circumstances--you having recently lost your parents--it was easily excusable, especially because no real harm was done.”� 

Lily frowned. “So things like this are to be expected out of emotional nut-cases like me, are they? They think that because someone loses their parents, they become... _deranged_?”�

“Lily, come on,”� said Sirius. “You’re getting off....”�

“I only ran off because I needed some time to absorb things!”� she continued, as if Sirius hadn’t spoken. “Time to sort myself out! I hadn’t even planned on letting Dinah tag along. She--she just...I couldn’t...”� Lily began to cry. She sat down on the floor beside a water fountain and drew her knees to her chest. She laid her cheek on the plateau of her knees and sniffled, allowing her tears to flow freely into the fabric of her jeans. All of the emotion she’d been feeling for the past two days erupted. It had been like a pot of water on the stove, constantly bubbling, threatening to boil over. Now it had. 

Dumbledore patted Lily affectionately on the head and excused himself to Officer Maximus’s office to give them some privacy. No one would be traversing such hidden corridors. 

James knelt beside Lily and rubbed her back while she sobbed, unable to offer her much more. She inhaled so abruptly in the midst of her tears that she started coughing and crying at once. 

“Calm down, Lily,”� whispered James. “You’re going to choke yourself.”�

“I don’t care,”� she wailed, burying her face beneath her hands. “What have I got to live for anyway?”� 

“How about us?”� said Sirius. “Your friends. And Dinah. She needs you.”�

“What can I give her?”� she said, voice shaking from her crying. “I’ve got nothing. Enough for two or three weeks’ groceries.”�

“You love her,”� said James. “You’ve got love to offer her.”� 

“Love won’t pay the bills,”� Lily pointed out, wiping fresh streams of tears. “Just”�--she hiccuped and more tears leaked from her eyes--“just give me my wand back so I can end this misery.”� She held out her hand to Sirius, who she knew nicked her wand on their way to the office. James felt like ice. 

Sirius stepped closer to them. “Look at you, Lily.”� He held out his two-way mirror so she could glimpse herself. “You have no reason to be acting this way. You’re getting off--everything’s all right. You’re going to get a job and earn more money. It’s not as bad as it seems.”�

“I have _plenty_ of reasons to act like this!”� warbled Lily. “My parents just died, that’s reason enough, and they left me with _nothing_. Not one cent. Just...family... _shit_! What good is it doing me, Mum? Weighing down my bag, that’s all! Burden indeed,”� she scoffed, referring to what her mother said about her house. “I would have been _ecstatic_ to bear _that_ burden!”� 

“At least your parents loved you!”� spat Sirius. “If mine died _right now_ they wouldn’t leave me even family trinkets. Not even a Knut. Not a _crumb_. End your misery, indeed. Being with the Black family is misery if I’ve ever known it!”� 

James was taken aback by his friend’s outburst; Sirius never spoke of his family. 

“You can support yourself, Sirius,”� snapped Lily. “What am I to do with only eight-hundred pounds? Where will I live? Nowhere for long.”�

She, with reflexes better than the boys knew she possessed, stole her wand back from out of Sirius’s pocket and backed away.

James withdrew his own. “Put it down, Lily.”� 

She pointed it at her chest. “No.”�

“I’ll make you put it down,”� he threatened. 

“Why would you bother?”� she asked. “All we ever do is argue. Why would you miss that?”� 

James lowered his wand out of surprise. “Why would I miss you, you mean? I know that’s what you’re getting at. I’d miss you because I care about you, dammit! Everyone argues; we just need to...talk out a few things.”� Lily’s fierce expression faded. “Please don’t do it, Lily. You’d hurt a lot of people. You’d kill me.”� 

Lily lowered her wand, ashamed of herself. ‘How could I have created such a scene?’ she thought. ‘ _I...I_ am _loved_. _Things...things are--things might--work out okay_.’

“Do you mean that, James?”� she said. “You care about me?”� 

He went to her, smiling slightly in relief. “Of course I do.”� He cupped her cheek. “Isn’t it obvious? I would have let you go through with it if I didn’t care.”�

Lily hugged him around the middle. “Thank you, James. And you too, Sirius,”� she added over James’s shoulder, “for talking some sense into me.”�

James grinned at her. “Isn’t that a man’s biggest job? Talking sense into the woman?”� 

Lily scowled. “You just lost your hug.”� 

He reeled her back in around the waist, kissing her near her cheekbone. 

“ _Enough_ ,”� remarked Sirius, slipping back into his normal disposition. “You’re making me sick, you two.”� 

His answer was a double raspberry. 

The door to Officer Maximus’s office clicked open and Dumbledore re-entered the hallway, followed by the Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher. 

“All sorted out, my dears,”� she sang with a smile. Blushing, Lily disentangled herself from James’s grasp. “Just try not to cause any more trouble. This job is difficult enough.”� She winked at Lily. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Thatcher...ma’am. But I have a question for you: How did you find us so quickly? Nobody knew where we’d gone!”� 

“I wouldn’t say that,”� twinkled the Prime Minister. “Your neighbor--Mrs. Manila, wasn’t her name?--was the first person the police investigated. She told them about what she’d given you, and we searched every hotel directory in the area, which wasn’t as tedious as it sounds.”� Her tone suggested that it was “all in a day’s work.”�

“Thank you again for your assistance, Margaret,”� said Dumbledore, who could sense that she needed to depart. “It was much appreciated.”�

The teens nodded their heads in agreement. 

“It was nothing,”� smiled the Prime Minister modestly. “It’s always a pleasure to aid a witch or wizard, especially a friend of Albus’s.”� She smiled at them once more and Officer Maximus (a tall, slender mustached man, a contrast to his colleague), who had been watching through the plate glass on his door, walked into the hallway to escort the Prime Minister. 

“Excuse me!”� called Lily, and both Officer Maximus and Margaret Thatcher turned toward her. “I have one more question I forgot to ask; would it be possible for me to...”�--she wrung her hands nervously--“adopt Dinah Elamain? I--I mean since I’ve been cleared of the charges and all....”�

“Are you eighteen years of age?”� asked the Prime Minister. 

“Almost,”� said Lily shyly. 

“When you turn eighteen, you are legally able to adopt a child. That is, if you can provide a suitable home.”�

Lily tried not to look as disappointed as she felt before Margaret Thatcher, and forced a smile and thanked her. The clicks of the Prime Minister’s heels were the only sounds in the hall for a moment or two. She and her escort turned the corner and they heard the back door to the building open and close.

Neither James nor Sirius had a chance to offer words of comfort to Lily before Dumbledore spoke. 

“Now that the legal issue is all sorted out, I can tell you what I was really interested in telling you today. Surely you three are aware of the rising threat of Lord Voldemort?”�

All thoughts of adoption left their heads.

“Yes,”� they chorused. 

“I--and many others of your acquaintance--am forming a...resistance group, if you will. A resistance against Voldemort. It will be called the Order of the Phoenix, and your participation would be a wonderful asset.”� 

“What are the jobs of this Order?”� asked James.

“We’re to use any methods possible to hinder Voldemort. Hopefully, to terminate him. We’ll spy on him and his Death Eater, locate his base of operation, discover his plans....”�

“Sounds worthwhile,”� said Sirius. “Definitely worthwhile.”�

“Please consider it,”� said Dumbledore. “I don’t need your answers right away.”�

They nodded.

“I’m going to have to leave you now,”� he said. “Other important business awaits my return to Hogwarts. Take care, you three.”� He winked at Lily; she smiled back. 

In a _CRACK_! he vanished. 

They heard the sound of rushing boots toward the door in Officer Mediro’s office and he stuck his pudgy head into the corridor. 

“What in God’s name was that?”� He frowned at the teens and stepped fully from behind the door. 

Sirius held out a snapped belt for the officer to see. “My belt broke. It felt a bit tight, so I took it off to give it a good stretch...guess I pulled a tad too hard.”�

“Get inside, all three of you,”� he grumbled. 

On their way in, Lily gave Sirius a look that clearly asked, “Where on Earth did you find that belt?”� He grinned and tapped the deep pocket that held his wand. In the short time since the row in the hall, Lily and Sirius had silently forgiven each other. 

Max nuzzled Lily’s ankles with his furry face.

“Are we leaving now?”� asked Dinah. “I’m tired.”�

Lily’s heart sank. What could she tell her? How could she leave her behind? Where in the world would they go, anyway?

“Dinah, I--”� Lily silenced at James’s hand on her shoulder. He smiled at her and knelt to address the child. 

“I’m going to adopt you,”� he said.

“No!”� Dinah protested. Officer Mediro leafed lazily through a magazine, not paying the group any mind. “Lily’s going to adopt me! She said so! I’m going to live with her!”�

“I can’t adopt you just yet,”� said Lily, who felt extremely grateful toward James for his kind gesture. “I have to wait until I turn eighteen. And earn more money.”�

“But I don’t want to live with James!”� insisted Dinah. “I want to live with you!”� 

James glanced over his shoulder to be sure Officer Mediro wasn’t listening. “You’re still going to be with Lily,”� he said in low tones. “Lily will gain custody of you when she turns eighteen.”�

“How will I be with her if you adopt me?”� asked Dinah.

“Lily can stay with me. At my house.”�

The weight that had filled her for the past two days vanished. She felt light. Incredibly light. Like a speck of pollen in gale force winds. She felt it hard to believe that she had contemplated suicide just minutes before. 

“You mean that?”� said Lily, trembling and staring at him hopefully.

James took her hand. “Of course. You think I’d leave you to the streets?”� 

Lily took to her tiptoes and leaned her head to kiss James’s cheek. But before her lips got near enough to brush the skin, she pulled back, full weight returning to her feet, startled by the click the office door made as it slid open and a woman Lily had never seen before sauntered confidently into the room. 

O O O


	11. The Potion

**Dedications** : A popular website!

Google: You were most helpful. For once. 

**Chapter 10** : The Potion

Peter Pettigrew hurried nervously down a limestone walkway leading to a very large, very imposing castle. It made an island of itself, built into an enormous chunk of rock near the shore of the beach. He’d come from a thick forest just under two-hundred feet behind him. This was his first summon to Maison Serpent, the abandoned castle claimed by Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. 

Everything about the castle made Peter fear entering it. For one, the walkway on which he presently stood had no railing, which didn’t make the fifty-foot climb to the main entrance any more comforting; and sharp rocks jabbed upward from the sandy shore. The green, triangular tops of even the smallest towers stood at least eighty feet over his head, and the way the vines of ivy coiled around the architecture reminded him of strangulation. 

Peter decided he didn’t like Albania. 

“Lumos,”� he whispered, and his wand brought light to his dim surroundings. 

“Pettigrew,”� hissed a female voice. 

Peter gasped and whirled around. The face of Bellatrix Lestrange appeared in the wand light. 

‘ _She’s very pretty_ ,’ thought Peter. ‘ _If only she wasn’t newly married...oh, why do I bother?_ ’

“I’ve been waiting for you,”� she said, slowly circling him and frowning. “You’re late.”� She slowed almost to a stop; Peter’s hands trembled. With an expression suggesting he wasn’t worth her effort, she continued walking. “Our master has a very important job for you. Mind you, if it weren’t for the circumstances, you would have been his last choice. You’re not exactly handy, Pettigrew.”�

“The circumstances?”� he repeated, ignoring her insult. They headed further into the castle. 

She smirked. “I’ll leave the explanation to Lucius and our master. Merlin knows Lucius has been waiting for this...”�

“Lucius? Since when does he give orders?”�

Bellatrix frowned at his petulant tone. “Who asked your opinion on the workings of the Death Eaters, Pettigrew?”� 

He made no reply, only scowled. 

Bellatrix lifted a cloaked arm to open a large, old-fashioned wooden door. She entered first, her cloak billowing behind her as she went, and Peter shuffled meekly inside in her wake. Both inclined their heads toward their master, Peter following Bellatrix’s motion. Lucius stood beside where Voldemort sat, eyes following the two as they drew closer.

Voldemort made no move to lower his hood, as his three Death Eaters had. 

“Peter,”� said Voldemort, by way of greeting, “Lucius and I are very pleased to see you.”�

“You are?”� Peter felt pleased, too, to hear this. 

“Certainly,”� replied Voldemort. “You are the only willing person”�--Bellatrix coughed--“who could conduct this job inconspicuously.”�

Lucius grinned at Peter; he looked more frightening than cheerful. “Yes, old chap. You’re doing me quite the favor. _Us_ ,”� he corrected quickly, glancing at his master. “Doing _us_ quite the favor.”�

“What am I doing, exactly?”� asked Peter uneasily. He wrung his hands.

Voldemort dipped his long-fingered hand into his robe pocket, withdrawing a test-tube sized vial of clear liquid. “You are to slip this into Lily Evans’s drink. I don’t care how you manage it, just do it without being seen.”� He handed Peter the vial. “Don’t let it break. If it breaks, you will make a new potion by hand.”�

Peter nodded and swallowed. Potions was his worst subject at Hogwarts. He turned to leave, but faced his master again a second later. 

“Master? What does the potion do?”� he questioned. 

“It won’t kill her, not that you should care,”� he said, seeing through his question. “It will render her...easier to deal with.”�

“Yes, master,”� nodded Peter, for lack of something better. He started again for the door, frustrated at his master’s response.

“Bella.”� Voldemort spoke unexpectedly. “Accompany Pettigrew to the beach.”�

“Of course, master.”�

Peter and Bellatrix left the room. 

“What is all of this about?”� asked Peter. “Aren’t I to be given any explanation?”� Fleetingly, he regretted accepting his invitation to join the Death Eaters. More respect, his toe. 

“Nobody thought you’d be needing one,”� said Bellatrix coolly. “Aren’t you aware of the December nineteenth trial? And the occupants of cell twenty-seven?”� Peter shook his head. “My lord, Pettigrew. Do you not speak at all with Lucius?”� She didn’t wait for his answer. “Lily Evans got Lucius in quite a lot of trouble in court. Suppose that’s what he gets for screwing around with a Mudblood. Anyway, he felt she needed to be taught a lesson. Shown who’s boss.”� She brought her index finger to the vial. “That’s Obedience Potion.”�

\- - - 

Lily scrutinized the woman as she walked Officer Mediro’s desk. She stood several inches taller than Lily, who--admittedly--was not the tallest creatures ever to walk the planet, and walked in a confident, although not pompous, manner. A floral summer dress covered her slightly overweight figure, and a large-rimmed straw hat half-hid her red curls. She glanced at Lily when she passed; the woman had James’s eyes, with not the slightest of differences. 

“Hello,”� she said pleasantly to the policeman. “I’m Erin Potter. I’ve come to pick up my son James and his friends.”� 

This news delighted Officer Mediro. “Please sign here, madam,”� he nearly sang, placing an official-looking document on the desk, “as a record of their release.”�

Mrs. Potter scribbled her name and turned toward the teens. She eyed James, Lily, and Sirius. “Ready to head home?”� She didn’t appear to notice Dinah. 

“We can’t go just yet,”� said Lily. “What about Dinah?”�

“Who, dear?”� asked Mrs. Potter. 

“Me,”� said Dinah, standing in her chair. 

Mrs. Potter smiled at the child. “Is this your sister?”� 

“No,”� replied Lily. “She’s not my sister.”� She braced herself for the reaction.

Mrs. Potter’s eyes widened a tad. “Well, she couldn’t be your--”�

“Mum!”� James cut in abruptly. “How about a stroll through Little Whinging?”� He tossed his arm about his mother’s shoulders and lead her toward the door. 

“Lily.”� Dinah snagged the collar of her jacket. “I can’t leave. I have to wait for Mrs. Vermaat to come get me.”�

Lily nodded at her. “James!”� she called. 

James’s head snapped in her direction. “Yeah?”�

She beckoned him back into the office. 

“Change of plans, Mum,”� he announced, leading the amused-looking woman back inside. 

“What’s going on?”� she inquired of her son. 

He started to explain, but another person came through the door. 

“I came as soon as I could,”� said Mrs. Vermaat apologetically to Officer Mediro. She glanced reproachfully at Lily. “Come, child,”� she said to Dinah, extending her hand. “Let’s go home.”�

Dinah crossed her arms. “I’m not going back to the orphanage.”� 

“Oh?”� said Mrs. Vermaat. The corners of her mouth curled slowly into an amused smile. “And where, pray tell, do you plan to live?”� 

Dinah leaned into Lily. “With Lily. And James.”�

James’s mother nudged him and hissed, “You’ve got some explaining to do.”�

“I will not place you in the care of that _irresponsible_ girl,”� said Mrs. Vermaat, staring sourly at Lily. 

“Lily takes good care of me!”� cried Dinah in protest. “She buys me dinner and takes me on vacation and she let me keep Max!”� She pointed to her kitten. “She tells me stories and hugs me a lot! Lily loves me!”� 

“Enough of this,”� ordered Mrs. Vermaat. “Come with me _now_.”� 

“No!”� Dinah shouted. “I won’t go!”� 

Lily had no idea how to react. What could change the woman’s mind?

Mrs. Vermaat, clearly fed up, snatched Dinah from the chair and dragged her, kicking, screaming, crying and hitting, toward the office door. 

“Lily!”� yelled Dinah. “Save me!”� She reached her free hand toward Lily. 

If Lily grabbed for Dinah, the city would be even less open to Dinah’s adoption. But if she didn’t try and wrench her from Mrs. Vermaat’s grip, she might lose Dinah for good. 

Lily darted forward and seized the child’s outstretched hand. The suddenness of the new weight startled the old woman and Dinah rolled into Lily’s arms; they fell to the floor.

“Young lady!”� barked Officer Mediro, rising from his chair. “What the devil do you mean by this?”�

Lily inched into a standing position, hindered under Dinah’s weight. “You can’t take her away,”� she said to Mrs. Vermaat. “I need her. I love her. She makes me happy. Why would you force a wanted child to return to an orphanage? Aren’t orphanages supposed to give children to loving families?”� Lily thought she’d made a good point. She hoped it would convince the woman.

“Yes,”� said Mrs. Vermaat, sneering. “We give children to loving _families_. Not young, orphaned teenagers who can barely support themselves. And definitely not to people who run off with children to other countries! Living with you is not in the child’s best interest.”�

James moved beside Lily. “We have plenty of resources to take care of Dinah, thanks,”� he said coolly. “And this,”� he gestured to Lily, his mother, and Sirius. “Isn’t this a family?”�

“She’s a _criminal_!”� cried Mrs. Vermaat. 

“Cleared!”� Sirius said loudly. “She was cleared of all charges! And the situation was explained to you!”� 

“She is nonetheless irresponsible! And not yet eighteen, besides.”�

“I am,”� said James. “I’m eighteen.”� 

The teens stared at the old woman in determination. Mrs. Potter stood in anxious confusion. Mrs. Vermaat’s fierce countenance was cracking slowly. She had no other point to attempt. 

“Very well,”� she said stiffly. “The papers await downtown.”�

Lily shrieked in happiness, grinning, and embraced Dinah, overjoyed at their luck. 

“You’re going to be my mother!”� Dinah squealed.

\- - - 

During the cab ride to the orphanage, the teens filled in Mrs. Potter on the last two days. She told them, in turn, that Dumbledore owled her about the arrest shortly after arriving at the airport. He’d assured her everything was under control, that James’s involvement was probably a misunderstanding, and had asked her to come so she could escort the boys back to Chatham. 

The idea of her son adopting a child made Mrs. Potter uneasy, at first. She didn’t feel he was quite ready to take on the myriad of responsibilities being a parent entailed. She also didn’t like that he and a girl to whom he was not married were to raise the child together. But still she invited Lily into her home. She had nothing against her personally, after all, and was glad to see her getting along so nicely with James, who had told his mother countless times about beautiful, red-haired Lily Evans.

Signing Dinah’s papers took only a few minutes, as Mrs. Vermaat was eager to get Lily and James out of her hair. James became her legal guardian, and was told that he had the options of joint guardianship with Lily once she came of age, and simply handing full guardianship over to Lily. Before Lily could open her mouth, James agreed to the latter. 

Mrs. Potter insisted they go out to dinner to celebrate. Everyone heartily agreed, as they hadn’t eaten anything all day. They dined at a restaurant in the well-to-do segment of Little Whinging, a place foreign to Lily. She much preferred the casualty of a burger joint. She said nothing, of course. James would probably laugh at her. Eating in fancy restaurants seemed an everyday thing for him. 

‘ _Look how easily he makes small talk with the...rather attractive waiter_ ,’ Lily observed. ‘ _And the folded napkin in his lap_! _Oh,...oh, God_. _He even lifted his pinkie finger when he sipped his tea_! _Sirius too_! _When did they acquire such manners_?’ 

Lily nearly laughed aloud when Sirius dabbed at his mouth with his napkin. She snorted into her tea to conceal the laugh. James chuckled at Lily from across the table. 

‘ _Was that a mock_?’ she wondered. ‘ _Is he laughing at me_? _No, why would he_? _It was only a bit of tea_. _Can’t have been funny_. _Must have just been happy. Right_.’ Lily frowned slightly. ‘ _Why do I care so much what he thinks of me_? _Let him laugh_! _I really don’t...care_.’

But she found she did. She wanted James to like her, to think her well-mannered and intelligent. She certainly didn’t want him laughing at her! They had to respect each other now! Treat each other with dignity! They were, after all, caring for the same child. 

Or were they? 

Lily’s heart took off in a frenzy. Had he only adopted Dinah out of... _politeness_? Worse, she considered, out of pity for her...

She excused herself from the table without a second thought, upsetting a glass of water in her rush. Blushing and babbling her apologies, she scooped the cubes back into the glass, set it upright and made for the French doors to exit the restaurant. She thought she heard Mrs. Potter mutter, “Odd girl”� to her son. 

Cold not from the weather--which would have been absurd--but her thoughts, Lily pulled the flaps of her jacket closer and seated herself on a stiff, concrete bench two shops from the restaurant. She gazed blankly across the street as the sky took on the pale hues of evening. 

What if James didn’t do it at all out of affection for her? Maybe he’d been trying to avoid another bout of tears and hastened to...no, James wasn’t like that. He really did care for Lily. He said so himself, didn’t he? And he seemed sincere enough...

Would he expect something in return? Did Lily now owe him a favor? What could she possibly do for him? James had everything already. What more could he require? 

A dangerous thought crawled into Lily’s mind: would he expect sex in return?

Her hand blanketed her mouth. Certainly not! He knew very well Lily’s previous sexual experience--how could he even _dream_ , even _imagine_ something like that to--

‘ _He didn’t_ ,’ she reminded herself. ‘ _He never even_ implied--’

A figure in dark clothes caught her eye from across the street. He walked with his hands in his pockets and glanced at Lily when he passed her. From under the rim of his hat, Lily glimpsed his face--pockmarked, as though he’d had acne in his teens. What was she thinking? He _was_ still a teen! Come to think about it, he looked quite familiar to her...

His name came to her with a gasp; Augustus Rookwood, a friend of Malfoy’s. She’d once seen them together in the Forbidden Forest shooting down deer and small animals at their leisure. But what was he doing here? Rookwood didn’t live in _Little Whinging_! It simply wasn’t possible. Didn’t all such foul creatures, she mused, reside in Transylvania? 

Rookwood’s presence in her hometown alarmed her. And he was watching her. 

‘ _Don’t be stupid_!’ she chided herself. ‘Watching me. _Surely not_. _He probably just recognized me, that’s all_. _No reason to worry_.’

Reassured, she rose from the bench. She allowed herself one last peek at Rookwood; to her surprise, he vanished without a sound, unnoticed by passersby. Lily shook her head in disapproval. 

‘ _At least he left_. _See_? _Worried for nothing_.’

She decided as she reentered the restaurant not to mention what she saw to James or Sirius. Having them think her silly or paranoid was the last thing she wanted; things were getting on so well now.

Grinning out of pure, newfound bliss at the sight of Dinah, Lily slid back into her chair as a slice of cake coated in rich, chocolate frosting was placed before her. 

O O O


	12. Chatham

**Author’s Note** : A long chapter! Hooray! I had so much fun writing this. 

**Dedications** : She _did_ insist...

Ricky: For essay reviewing. It was marvelous. 

**Chapter 11** : Chatham

Lily found Chatham to be a gorgeous place. At least, the part of it in which the Potters’ house resided was, anyway. James’s family owned acres and acres of land. Lily wished she could have grown up in such a spacious environment, but Muggle families were usually forced to choose a home out of convenience (schools and shopping centers) rather than an actual desire to live there. Of course, Lily wasn’t complaining about her house. It hadn’t been cramped, animal infested, ugly, or adorned with knickknacks in bad taste. Though, she considered, it probably would be now, seeing as Petunia was the new lady of the house; knickknacks in bad taste were exactly her style. 

But not the style of Erin Potter. Nothing about her house was in bad taste. A great deal of her possessions were exotic in appearance, giving the impression she had traveled world-wide. Lily didn’t doubt it; she possessed enough gold, it appeared, to buy a country. 

The house had eight bedrooms--Lily counted. Mr. and Mrs. Potter--if there was still a Mr. Potter; Lily hadn’t yet seen him--shared one, James used another, and three were always kept ready for Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who the Potters probably entertained for the most. That left three bedrooms for Lily and Dinah to choose between. They ended up selecting one down the hall from James, garnished in the theme of sunflowers. Lily loved the yellow hues, muttering to Mrs. Potter, who had led a tour of her home, that sunflowers, along with lilies and petunias, obviously, had always been a favorite flower of her mother’s, and staying in the room gave her a sense of comfort. 

Dinah and Lily had barely begun unpacking their bags (at which they were making slow progress anyhow, because Max would periodically nick small things from their bags and tear off with them under the bed) when James and Sirius rapped on the door, inquiring as to whether they’d like to be shown around out back. 

“But it’s almost dark out,”� Lily pointed out, gesturing to her window as she removed a stack of shirts from her bag. 

“Are you afraid, or something?”� asked Sirius, half-smiling. “You don’t have to be, you know. We’ll be right there with you. I’m sure James could even hold your hand if you need him to.”� 

“Aren’t _you_ a comedian?”� said Lily sarcastically. “We can go out in the morning. Dinah needs to get to sleep.”�

“No I don’t!”� she said, and fell into a bounce on the bed. “I want to go outside!”�

“You heard the kid,”� grinned James. “Come on, Lily.”�

Lily zipped up her empty bag and placed it at the foot of the bed. With a smile, she gave in. 

“All right, all right. Lead the way.”� 

\- - - 

A wrap around porch with beautiful cushioned furniture, woven Christmas-style lights, and a fan that would release snowflakes in light showers every so often laid at the back of the house’s bottom story, and they had to pass through it to reach James’s backyard. There was a plot of grass stretching about two-hundred feet in each direction directly behind the house, and a thick forest replaced the grass as it thinned. His backyard didn’t appear to have any magical properties. It was just as dark there as anywhere else, save for the group of lit torches near the back porch’s entrance. Lily couldn’t spot anything of particular interest in the yard except for a garden to the side of the porch in which grew pumpkins half her height. She doubted, though, that they were the reason James and Sirius had insisted they come. 

“Nice yard you’ve got,”� complimented Lily as filler. “Very big.”� 

“Big.”� He grinned. “Big it is.”� He joined his arms behind his back and started slowly up the short path of square rocks that led to the garden. Something about his enthusiasm told Lily his plan was not good news for her. “You want to know another interesting thing about my house, Lily?”� 

Lily grinned, despite the incoming news. “Hmm?”�

“It’s loaded with Muggle-repelling charms.”� So it did have magical properties. “Want to know why?”� 

Sirius and he were both grinning now. 

“Do I?”� she asked.

“We play a lot of Quidditch, Lily,”� grinned James even wider. 

Lily’s suspicions had officially been confirmed. Back when James used Quidditch matches as an adhesive for their friendship, he would often try and persuade her to practice with him on the pitch. When it was him alone, of course; the other team members wouldn’t have welcomed the hindrance. Vehemently, Lily had always refused. During her first--and, consequently, only--flying lesson, her take-off had thrown her into the branches of a nearby tree. Sliced, bruised, and bloody, Lily had clung to the tree trunk and refused to return to the ground. It took an hour, the jeers of her classmates, threats of detention from Madam Hooch, and an airborne Dungbomb (which was the main reason she fled the tree) before Lily would budge. 

“No, James!”� she protested, backing up several feet and waving her arms in the universal ‘no’ gesture. “There is _no_ way you’re getting me on one of those things!”� 

Sirius, who had left them for several moments to fetch three broomsticks, returned. Dinah looked positively mesmerized by the brooms. Her eyes flickered over every inch of them; she looked tempted to reach out and grab one. 

“I’ll go!”� the child volunteered cheerfully. “I’m not afraid.”� 

“No!”� Lily said quickly, placing her hands on Dinah’s shoulders. “I won’t have her breaking bones.”�

“Breaking bones?”� laughed James. “Lily, have I ever fallen from a broomstick?”� 

A fleeting image of James grasping his broom desperately by its handle, hanging upside-down sixty feet in the air passed through her mind. Scarily enough, it was a real memory. 

“No,”� she said firmly. 

“Lily!”� whined Dinah. “I want to! It’s not fair!”� She tugged on James’s sleeve. “Make her say yes!”� 

James bit his lip to hold back a bark of laughter. It struck him then that he was really in control. He could potentially overrule Lily. He was a parent. 

‘ _No...Lily wouldn’t like that_ ,’ he considered. ‘ _Most of the authority belongs to her. I can’t tell Dinah yes if Lily says no. But I_ can _attempt to change her mind..._ ’

“Lily,”� he said in deal-making tones, “if she gets hurt, you can personally kick me in the crotch.”� 

Lily smirked. “Why would it matter?”�

Confused, James asked, “What do you mean?”�

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt too much, would it? There’s not a lot to kick.”�

Sirius burst into a fit of hysterical laughter; Dinah stayed silent, puzzled; and James, flushed like a Christmas bauble, snatched a broom away from Sirius, mounted it and mumbled, “That’s how you want to play, is it?”� before shooting into the air. 

Lily squinted upward toward the darkening sky, curious as to his next move. It happened too quickly to give her time to run. James, who’d taken a lap around his backyard, pulled into a sharp dive. The sudden motion stunned Lily, and she watched desperately as he hurtled toward her, unable to speak, scream, or run. When he reached her he did not, as she’d feared, crash into her, but transferred her to his broom in a frightening movement. She ended up in front of him, he holding her securely around the waist while they soared above Sirius and Dinah. 

She screamed incessantly. 

“Lily!”� he shouted over the noise of her screams mingled with the rushing wind. “Be quiet! I’ve got you.”�

She did stop and turned her head toward him. Surprisingly, she had tears on her cheeks. 

“Lily,”� he repeated, though in gentle tones. Carefully, he brought the broom to a halt in mid-air, far out of view of the others. She buried her face into his jacket, sniffling. His arms encircled her. 

“It wasn’t that scary. I’m sorry about the dive...I was only playing around.”� He nudged her gently. “Come on--you have a go steering.”� She shook her head. “Please? I promise you won’t fall. Or”�--he tipped her head up by her chin and smiled at her--“get caught in a tree.”�

“That wasn’t funny.”� She wiped her eyes. 

He--badly--attempted to look serious. “No, of course it wasn’t.”�

“So how do I work this thing?”� she asked. 

James brightened. “You’re going to do it?”� 

“It doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice,”� she smiled. 

James kissed her. He’d been aiming for her cheek, but having a man come so close to her face frightened her and she’d turned her head. The first moment was terrifying. Lily pulled away and almost sent herself tumbling backward off the broom. But before she could even utter a gasp of surprise, James’s arms were around her again and she found herself pressed into his snug jacket. She heard his quick heartbeats. 

“My God, Lily,”� he whispered. “You scared the shit out of me.”�

“I’m--”�

“Don’t apologize. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have...anyway, let’s get back to the others.”�

Lily felt like crying again. She knew it was a childish way to deal with her problems, but it was her first instinct. She feared she might have scared James off for good now. He would probably never initiate anything anymore and she’d be left mourning his loss in the shadows, too afraid to speak up, to touch him....

‘ _Why am I so afraid of being intimate with him? He’s never hurt me_.’ 

She concentrated on his arm around her waist, his chest pressed against her back, his chin brushing the back of her head occasionally--why didn’t these things make her uncomfortable?

The worst part was, she really did want to be with him. She wanted him to hold her close like he was presently; she wanted him to kiss her; she wanted him to share her bed eventually, if only to keep her warm in the wintertime. She desperately desired all of these things, but her fear wouldn’t allow her to have them. 

They returned to the ground to find Mrs. Potter standing among Sirius and Dinah. She looked a mixture between cross and worried. 

“I heard screaming!”� she said. “What on earth happened?”� 

She took Lily by the shoulders and looked her over. 

“Everything’s fine, Mrs. Potter,”� she said. “I slipped a little on the broom, that’s all.”�

James was relieved at her lie; his mother would have given him a throttling for his behavior. 

“If you’re all right, then...but why don’t you three come inside? It’s getting late.”�

Sirius volunteered to take the broomsticks back around to the shed. Lily offered to go with him, and dragged him around the corner as Mrs. Potter took Dinah inside. James stayed by the porch door. 

“What’d you come for?”� he asked. 

“I need to ask a favor,”� she explained quietly. 

“What’s the favor?”� 

“Will you...help me act more comfortably around James?”� She received a puzzled stare. “I mean, with my fear and all. He tried kissing me tonight”�--Sirius’s eyebrows shot up and he grinned--“but I was so frightened when it happened...”� During her brief hiatus, James crept around the side of the house, hidden behind a large bush. He wondered why Lily had gone with Sirius. “I just need your help with the intimacy, really.”� Her wording didn’t quite click in her mind; both Sirius and James were surprised at what they heard. 

“Lily,”� started Sirius awkwardly, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Even if it were to help you, James wouldn’t--”�

The bushes rustled violently nearby, followed by running footsteps and the slam of the porch door. Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, kneading his temples. 

“He’s heard you.”�

“I...think he figured I was asking for...uh-oh.”�

“Uh-oh indeed,”� agreed Sirius. “You need to go talk to him. I would have thought the same had I been him.”� 

“I really didn’t mean--that,”� Lily hurried to amend. “I just meant _talking_ to me about it. Saying things that might wan my fear. Like therapists do, you know.”� 

“Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place?”� grumbled Sirius. “Go talk to him.”�

Lily nodded and sprinted around the corner, past the bushes, and through the porch door. She stopped before she entered the living room to slow her breathing. 

Mrs. Potter sat on the couch holding a book she was trying to read. She didn’t look like she was making much progress, as she glanced concernedly toward the staircase across the room every few seconds. 

“Lily,”� said Mrs. Potter when she walked fully into the room. “Do you know what’s the matter with James? He stormed through here a minute ago.”�

“Unfortunately, I do know. He’s angry with me.”�

Mrs. Potter closed her book. “What happened?”� 

“It’s a very long story,”� explained Lily. “You’d need to hear it all to understand.”�

Mrs. Potter sighed. “I suppose you’d better go patch things up, then.”�

“Do you know where he went?”� 

Mrs. Potter smiled. “His bedroom. Always his bedroom.”�

“Thanks, Mrs. Potter.”� Lily started for the stairs. 

“Lily?”�

She stopped walking, hand on the stair rail, and looked over her shoulder. “Yes?”�

“You can call me Erin.”�

They smiled at each other. Lily liked Erin Potter. She was a very kind, agreeable person and she felt glad to be a guest in her home. 

“Thanks, Erin.”�

The first striking feature of James’s bedroom was its shape. She didn’t know if it had been accidental, or if James’s parents had it done special, but his room was oval-shaped, just like a Quidditch pitch. Other than that, there wasn’t much else particularly different or interesting about his Quidditch-themed room, except for his mirror. 

It could speak.

“Try the rope near his bed, dear. Give it a tug.”�

“W-What?”� Lily did a double-take.

“The rope. Give it a tug,”� repeated the mirror. “Poor boy’s dreadfully upset over something.”�

Lily, though a bit weirded out, did as the mirror said and tugged the thick, knotted rope in the corner by James’s bed. Surprising her, a rope ladder tumbled from the opening in the ceiling. Tentatively, she climbed it. Upon reaching her destination, she discovered she’d entered a small, wooden room no more than the size of her old closet back on Privet Drive. 

It was empty.

“What are you doing here?”� called an unpleasant-sounding voice. She looked up to see James glaring down at her from a windowsill ten feet above her head. Vaguely, she wondered how he’d gotten up there.

“I came to talk to you,”� she called. “Will you please come down?”� 

“Finished with Sirius, have you?”� 

“James!”� she shouted in frustration. “I’ve never done anything like that with Sirius! I’ve told you!”� 

“Why were you asking him for intimacy help, then?”� he snapped. 

“I didn’t mean for him to touch me!”� she yelled back. “I just wanted some verbal help.”�

“That’s a load of dung. Why won’t you just admit it? You’d rather have anyone than me.”�

“That’s not true! I was asking for his help because of you!”� 

He looked at her. “Because of me?”�

“Yes.”� She softened her tone. “Being so close frightens me sometimes. I thought he could help....”�

“Why didn’t you just ask me?”� said James, and leapt from the windowsill. The floor shook as his feet made contact. “I can help you.”�

Lily stared at the ground. “I didn’t want to put you through the trouble. I wanted to get over my fear before we got involved.”� She blushed. “ _If_ we get involved....”�

“Trouble?”� he echoed. “Helping you isn’t a bother. Why wouldn’t I want to help you?”�

“I don’t know,”� she whispered. “I wasn’t thinking.”� 

He moved nearer to her. “How am I supposed to help?”� 

She stared up at him, absorbing the closeness. “Just do anything that will ease my nerves about intimacy.”�

“Well...what do you feel when I do...”�--he pulled her into a hug--“this?”� He gave a lop-sided smile.

“Scared at first,”� she admitted, and his smile disappeared. “Not so scared as when... _he_ was close to me, but having a man come toward me when we’re alone still bothers me.”� 

James let her go and said, “Isn’t it different, though? I’m not trying to hurt you.”�

“I know that,”� she hastened to say, “but just imagine that the only experience you’d ever had with the opposite sex was forced. You’d never had the good stuff. A nice boyfriend.”�

“I’ll be your nice boyfriend,”� James offered with a smile. 

Lily returned the smile, blushing. “Finally you offer.”�

He cupped her cheek, still smiling. “Been waiting?”� he teased. 

She took the hand from her cheek, savoring its warmth, and kissed his palm.

“Longer than you know.”�

O O O


	13. The File Cabinet

**Author’s Note** : In a puzzling turn of events, the birthday girl is handing out a present--this chapter!

**Dedications** : O_o

EVERYONE! Because I’m in a wonderful mood. 

**Chapter 12** : The File Cabinet

“What took you so long?”� groused Dinah, whose arms were crossed. Max played on the lump created by her legs under the covers. 

Lily and James entered the room, releasing each others’ hand in the process. James stood by Lily’s unoccupied half of the bed, smiling at the girls with his hands in his pockets, and Lily sat beside Dinah, allowing the feisty kitten to swat at her hair. 

“Sorry, Dinah.”� She couldn’t conceal a smile as she gave her apology and glanced at James. “We didn’t mean to leave you and Max alone in here.”� To rid her of suspicion, she added, “James and I had something to take care of.”�

“What was it?”� she asked.

A lovely rouge crept upon Lily’s cheeks. “Never you mind,”� she said, and pulled giggling Dinah into a hug. “Goodnight.”�

“Tuck me in,”� she said, and moved the blanket off her; Max became trapped beneath it. Lily pulled the covers from the kitten, who looked rather disgruntled, and draped them over Dinah. 

“Goodnight,”� she repeated, and kissed her forehead. Lily motioned for James to do the same. Awkwardly, because he hadn’t been around a child since the years he was one, James leaned over Dinah, kissed her cheek, and gave her hair a rumple. Because the child seemed pleased at his half of the tucking-in, James felt pleased too. He was learning. 

Lily started toward the dresser in which she’d placed her things, but James spoke, halting her. 

“Tuck me in?”�

They grinned at each other, a little anxiously on Lily’s part. She laid her pajamas at the foot of the bed--Max claimed them instantly as his own--and went with James to the door. 

“Lily?”� Dinah sat in bed. “Where are you going? It’s bed time.”� 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,”� Lily promised. “Go to sleep.”�

“I’m waiting for you,”� Dinah insisted.

“All right,”� muttered Lily. 

She and James left the room. 

“That was sweet, James,”� smiled Lily as they walked down the hallway. 

James blushed, though he accepted the praise with a grin. “It was nothing, really. You’re better at it.”�

“I think you make a very nice father,”� complimented Lily, ensuing a deeper blush from her companion. 

“F-father?”�

“You _did_ adopt her,”� said Lily. 

“But I did that for you,”� he said, embarrassed now at thinking himself Dinah’s adoptive father. “She’s yours.”�

Lily looked crestfallen. “I thought we were going to...oh dear....”�

Guilt prickled inside of James. “Thought we were going to what?”� he asked, although he knew the answer already.

“Raise her together,”� said Lily, eyes falling to the hall floor. They stopped outside of James’s room. “But if you don’t want to, I underst--”�

From below they heard a door open and close, followed by the sound of boots clunking around. They came closer--probably to the living room--tempting Lily and James to peek over the stair rail. 

James’s father looked extraordinarily like him. They wore their wild black hair in the same style, carried themselves the same way, and even dressed similarly. The only differences were the color of their eyes (James’s father’s were blue), the lines of age and sun on the older man’s face, and about ten pounds, in James’s favor. 

“Lost!”� fumed James’s father, pitching a set of gloves rather moodily to the ground. “We _lost_!”� He began to pace back and forth and his wife watched him, trying to hide her amusement. “All those practices, all of my pep talks and speeches--wasted! How could they have let the Wimbourne Wasps steal our win? That Ludo Bagman and his foul play...get him for that bludger....”�

“Dad coaches the Montrose Magpies,”� whispered James. “They had a big game tonight.”�

Mrs. Potter rose from the couch and gave her slightly muddy husband a comforting hug, which he gladly returned. 

“It’s only Quidditch, love,”� she soothed. Lily knew at once that she had said the wrong thing. 

“ _Only_ Quidditch?”� Mr. Potter drew back from his wife, gaping incredulously at her. “My wife should never say it’s ‘ _only Quidditch_ ’!”� Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes. “You know what we lost tonight, Erin? The finals! I come home, crushed, and hoping for sympathy and words of comfort--my wife puts down Quidditch instead!”�

“Cut the melodrama. I’m making you a cup of tea.”� She disappeared into the kitchen. 

Mr. Potter kicked off his shoes and snagged the evening edition of the _Daily Prophet_ from the coffee table. He frowned at the front page--which, from their height, Lily and James could not see--and when Mrs. Potter walked back into the living room carrying a tea tray for two, he spoke to her. 

“Did you see this?”� He tapped the page. “An entire goblin family murdered in Nottingham. Can you believe it?”� Mrs. Potter said nothing, choosing to stare in a rather frightened way into her tea cup. “I bet you anything it was that Dolohov you were telling me about (Mrs. Potter worked at the Ministry--the Wizengamot). The one who loves to torture non-supporters; everyone knows he wants goblins on his side. They just won’t have any of it.”�

“That’s only the front page, Greg,”� mumbled Mrs. Potter. 

Internally fearful, he turned the page. “Muggle torturing?”� he gasped, looking up at his wife. “More Muggle torturing?”� 

Beside him, James felt Lily shift uncomfortably. 

“Th-they supposedly do it for fun,”� muttered Mrs. Potter, shameful at her knowledge. 

Mr. Potter steepled his eyebrows. “How did you hear that?”�

“We’ve had several Death Eaters on trial in the past month,”� explained his wife. “Out of curiosity, Millicent Bagnold asked one why he enjoys torturing Muggles so; that was his answer.”�

Mr. Potter tossed the paper unceremoniously to the floor. “Sick. The lot of them are sick.”�

At Lily’s agreeing nod, James leaned to hug her. She gratefully slid into his embrace, not the least bit scared for the moment, and sat herself in his lap. 

James grinned. “ _Now_ you’re cuddly.”�

She laid her head on his shoulder. “You’re warm, that’s why. And this is nice, you holding me.”�

He kissed her cheek, sending pleasant chills down each of their spines. She snuggled closer to him. 

“I like this,”� she declared, a little pink in the cheeks from his kiss. “I like having a boyfriend. You know, I think this may have helped a little; I don’t feel nervous or scared at all.”� James noted that she said the last sentence almost cheerfully. 

He kissed her cheek again (quite near the corner of her mouth). “I’m glad you’re happy.”�

Lily let him hold and nuzzle her for a few minutes longer, enjoying the closeness. She felt so comfortable and at ease with him in those minutes as his hands softly rubbed her back and his warm breath caressed her cheek. 

‘ _It must have been the approach_ ,’ she thought. ‘ _Not sudden, he had a soft, caring expression, he was gentle...everything Malfoy wasn’t. Don’t be frightened_ ,’ she implored herself. ‘ _James won’t hurt me_.’

She closed her eyes, demonstrating to both herself and James her trust in him. His clothing and chest were so soft...his embrace so snug...she was drifting off. Her fear was screaming, ‘Get away from him! Don’t you _dare_ fall asleep in a man’s arms! Are you _mad_?’

But, for a drastic change, she ignored its warnings. ‘Shut it. I’m tired and James is comfortable. He _won’t_ hurt me.’

She was starting to believe her mantra. At first, she said it to reassure herself, to perhaps trick herself into abandoning her fear. Now it was a reminder of the truth James proved it to be time after time. 

“Lily,”� he whispered, and kissed her forehead, bringing her from her thoughts. “You’re falling asleep. Come on--I’ll put you to bed.”� 

Lily moaned in protest and gripped him tightly around the waist. “Stay,”� she muttered sleepily.

James smiled. “I’ll carry you to bed, then.”�

Compliantly, because he tickled her when she refused, she fixed her arms about his neck and her legs around his waist. He didn’t, as Lily had wished, turn into his bedroom. Lily took it upon herself to reach it. 

James grunted when she grabbed the door frame and stopped walking. “What was that about?”� 

“Your room,”� she requested tiredly, and laid her head once more on his shoulder. 

“Are you sure?”� He sounded tentative. 

The sound of Dinah’s soft snores drifted into the hall and Lily knew she wouldn’t be expecting her back until morning. 

“Yes,”� she whispered, tiredness overcoming her. “Hold me.”�

“I am holding you,”� he replied. 

“When I’m sleeping,”� she amended. 

Not wanting to protest in the least bit--not to mention overcome with glee--James carried her into his bedroom and kicked the door shut behind them. 

“You’ve brought a girl?”� asked the mirror, shocked. “To your bedroom? What would your mother say?”�

James set her in a sitting position on the bed; she was reluctant to release him. 

“I have a big T-shirt and pajama shorts you can borrow,”� he said, and fished them out of his dresser drawers. “Here”�--he tossed them in her lap--“I hope you like Snitches.”� 

Lily picked them up and staggered through the open door to his bathroom. She closed the door once she’d entered and emerged a few moments later, clad in his Quidditch wear. James noted her lack of bra and felt his jeans tighten uncomfortably. 

As Lily pulled back the comforter and climbed into bed, James fumbled for his pajamas, trying not to show her his front, and darted into the bathroom. Due to her fatigue, Lily took no notice of his odd behavior. 

The mattress dipped briefly when James laid down beside Lily. She moved into his arms and yanked the comforter up to their chins. James felt like Romeo Montague laying there beside Lily; having her in his bed was forbidden. She should be back in her room with Dinah. 

Dinah. They hadn’t resolved the issue concerning Dinah. James wanted to be her adoptive father; he knew that for sure. He only began backing out of Lily’s offer for Dinah’s sake. What if they raised her as a couple for a year or two and then split up? He didn’t want to put a child through such an ordeal. But as Lily snuggled closer to him, he felt stupid for having such little faith in their relationship. They could really have something. 

“Lily?”� he whispered. “Remember what we talked about in the hall? Raising Dinah together?”�

“Yes,”� she replied. 

“You still want to, right?”� 

She propped herself up on an elbow, facing him. “You mean... _you_ do?”�

He nodded. “If you’ll have me.”�

Lily grinned and wrapped him in a hug. “Of course I’ll have you. I was worried you’d say no.”�

“I’ve wanted to be with you for nearly three years. You think I’d say no?”�

She felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him; she acted on it. (Pleasantly) Surprised, James coiled an arm around her and eagerly kissed her back. Neither had the desire to end it for several moments. 

That is, until she felt his tongue against her lips. 

She snapped backward and sat, covering her mouth with her palm, breathing heavily. 

“Sorry,”� he muttered. “Got a bit carried away, I suppose.”�

Her hand fell to her side. “It’s not your fault,”� she said. “That was another thing he did. Forced me to...well, you understand.”�

“I’m sorry,”� he repeated, feeling awful for stirring those memories. “I didn’t know.”�

“I don’t blame you. Everything’s fine. Just...give me some sort of warning next time you...you know.”�

“I will,”� he vowed. 

She inched back over to him and sank again into his embrace. “Let’s get to sleep,”� she said. “I’m really tired.”�

He gave her a light kiss on her neck before fulfilling her wish.

\- - - 

The doorbell rang throughout the bottom floor of the house the next morning and Mrs. Potter rushed to answer the door before the sound awoke everyone. 

“Oh, hello Remus!”� she greeted. “You too, Peter. About time you joined us.”� 

She opened the door wider for them and they entered the foyer. 

“Everyone’s feeling well again, I presume?”� 

Remus nodded. In truth, he _was_ feeling better. His mother had thought ahead to stock up on Healing Elixirs for the summer, and after a rough night locked securely in his basement--where he spent all of his home-bound transformations--she’d nursed him back to health, kneeling with a cool rag for his head at his bedside and sharing tired conversation until sleep had claimed him. 

“And your mother, Peter?”� prompted Mrs. Potter. 

“She’s feeling much better,”� said Peter truthfully. “My father took her to St. Mungo’s two days ago and she’s improving greatly.”� Peter’s mother had contracted a ghastly case of the flu near the start of August. She’d been on bed rest for weeks. 

“I’m glad to hear that. Would you boys like something to eat?”� 

“Sure!”� “All right.”�

They followed Mrs. Potter into the vacant dining room; she entered the next room, the kitchen, which connected to the dining room, and started preparing breakfast. 

“Where’re the others?”� asked Remus, taking a seat beside Peter. 

“Still sleeping,”� called Mrs. Potter from the kitchen. “Bacon, eggs, and toast all right?”� 

“Yes,”� they chorused. 

“I’m going to the loo,”� muttered Remus. “Back in a minute.”�

Peter was alone at the table. Mrs. Potter stepped with a pitcher of orange juice into the dining room. She handed it to Peter and whipped out her wand to summon six plates, cups, and sets of silverware to the table. 

“Could you pour the juice and set the table, dear?”� 

“Yes, all right,”� said Peter. 

Mrs. Potter smiled at him and rushed back into the kitchen to see to breakfast. Peter took this as his opportunity to slip Lily a mickey. He knew James’s usual seat and that Lily would most likely take the only available chair beside him. Once the table was set and the juice served, Peter withdrew the potion from his robe pocket and uncorked it. He paused before emptying its contents into her drink, feeling guilty for what he was doing to a girl James cared so much for. The potion fell into her drink, however, when he imagined what Lord Voldemort would do to him if he disregarded his order. 

Luckily for Peter, the empty vial was hidden in his pocket and he was in the process of sliding back into his chair when both Remus and Mrs. Potter reentered the room. She layered their plates with thick bacon, scrambled eggs, and buttered and jellied toast. They thanked her and Peter was about to start on a piece of toast when James, Lily, and Dinah entered the room. He excused himself from the table, muttering about needing to use the bathroom. He couldn’t bear to watch Lily drink her juice, even if he’d never much liked her. 

During his slow trudge up the staircase, he thought about Lucius Malfoy and what Bellatrix had told him about his reasons for brewing Lily the Obedience Potion. A trial. A trial on December nineteenth of last year. A trial he knew virtually nothing about. Then something he should have realized sooner struck him; Mrs. Potter was on the Wizengamot. Well, he couldn’t very well _ask_ her about it. Might come off as suspicious and besides, he doubted she’d tell him anything about it if he _were_ to ask. 

‘ _Her file cabinet_!’ he thought excitedly. ‘ _I’d almost forgotten about her file cabinet_! _She has information on all of the trials in there_!’ 

The second room on the right, Mrs. Potter’s office was off-limits to James and his friends. Peter found it to be unlocked, however, and made his entrance as though it was his own office, letting the door seal with a _click_! once he was inside. 

Six feet tall and full of large metal drawers, the file cabinet wasn’t difficult to locate. There were thirteen drawers, each containing files for two letters of the alphabet. He searched under Lily’s name, Evans, and pulled forward the third drawer. She was the only Evans on file, not hard to find at all. He opened the thin, cream-colored folder bearing her name and withdrew a lone sheet of typed print. 

‘ _Lucius served six months in Azkaban_? _I never knew that. Oh my God...they gave him the ancient Wizarding punishment for rape as well. But he_ did _hurt her...it was his fault...._ ’

Hastily, he jammed the page back into its folder and placed it back between ‘Erikson’ and ‘Fay.’ Peter peeked out the window on the office door before leaving the room, and as he headed back toward the aromatic dining room, he trembled with guilt at the knowledge that Lily Evans had only twenty hours left to act freely.

O O O


	14. Liberation

**Author’s Note** : I think I have a new favorite chapter. : D

**Dedications** : A request becomes reality.

For Laura Johnson, who wanted a longer chapter. 

**Chapter 13** : Liberation

Peter returned to the dining room to find Sirius seated among the others at the table. They all chatted as they ate their breakfast, even Dinah, sounding merry and lively as they shared stories, jokes, and gossip. He glimpsed Dinah inconspicuously feeding bacon scraps to Max; a fluid sensation of cold washed over him when his eyes trailed upward to Lily’s half-empty orange juice glass. 

She had, indeed, sat herself in the normally empty chair on James’s right, just as Peter had surmised. 

“Oi, Pete!”� Sirius’s call from the far head of the table jerked him from his worried, guilty thoughts. “You going to come join us or stare at the wall all day?”�

Peter, though embarrassed, forced a grin and a chuckle. “Sorry. Still asleep, I guess.”� He sat back in his seat, hands trembling so slightly only he noticed. He spooned some scrambled eggs into his mouth to busy himself. 

“How’s your mum?”� James asked. 

Peter swallowed. “Much better. She’ll be out of Mungo’s in a few days, most likely.”�

“ _Mungo’s_?”� gasped James and Sirius in unison, surprised. James continued, “It was that bad?”�

“She had a temperature of 40.5,”� said Peter, and the eyes of those present expanded. “What else were we to do?”�

“They fixed her up right quick, then?”� asked James, looking hopeful. 

“Of course,”� replied Peter, a real smile on his face now. “Healers are miracle workers.”�

James grinned at his friend’s statement. “Too right, Peter.”�

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Such an _obsession_!”� Remus, too, smiled. 

Lily looked around at the boys, puzzled. “Obsession with what?”�

“ _Healers_ ,”� answered Sirius, mock scathingly. “I’m surprised you didn’t know, Lily. James has wanted to be a Healer since he was four.”�

“I don’t know if green suits you, James,”� smirked Lily.

He stuck his tongue out at her. “What do _you_ want to do?”�

Lily shrugged. “Haven’t given it much thought.”�

“It’s not that difficult to decide,”� James told her. “Take Moony for example:”�--he indicated Remus--“he’s good at--and enjoys--explaining things to people and misses being at school like mad--teacher.”� He switched his focus to Peter. “Wormtail, on the other hand, would lead students into failure if he tried teaching.”� Peter blushed and took a huge gulp of juice to hide his face. “But he’s good with animals and decent in Transfiguration; he might take a job in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.”� He now gestured to Sirius. “And Padfoot is brilliant in Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Charms, so he might become an Auror, or something.”�

Sirius snorted. “Fat chance, Prongs. Did you happen to see my Potions N.E.W.T.?”�

“You never showed me your N.E.W.T.s,”� James reminded him, sipping at his juice.

“There wasn’t one,”� said Sirius bluntly. “I got a P on my exam.”�

“Told you to study,”� remarked Remus. “Maybe one day you’ll take me seriously.”�

“Oh, stuff it, Mum.”� Laughter danced about the room. 

“You can re-take it through the Ministry,”� suggested Peter. “That’s what Mum’s making me do.”�

Lily hefted an eyebrow. “What were your grades?”� 

Peter reddened. “Well, I...”�

“Leave the boy alone, Lily,”� said James, noticing his color. “So what if he didn’t manage as many N.E.W.T.s as you.”� Peter returned to his usual color, grateful to James; Lily’s face now resembled a fire engine. 

“I didn’t get that many,”� she protested. 

Sirius tittered. “Right, Lily. You’re Remus with lils and you expect us to believe yours and Peter’s grades were equal?”�

“Sirius!”� she cried, turning redder. “I never said...h-how....”� She gave up at the boys’ sniggers and slurped defeatedly at her juice. 

“Oh!”� cried Sirius suddenly, whacking the table with his fist. “I forgot to tell you lot about the present I bought myself a few months ago!”� 

“You’ve had it for months and you haven’t told us?”� James gaped. “Who are you? Where is Sirius?”� 

Sirius pulled a face. “I kept quiet because Arthur and I could get in a load of trouble if the wrong people find out about it.”�

“Arthur?”� asked Remus. “Arthur Weasley? The one with the heap of children?”�

“Yeah,”� confirmed Sirius. “He’s experienced with charming Muggle objects to fly and...well....”� He trailed off in a grin. 

“What did you do, you barmy git?”� demanded Lily. 

He dug through his robe pockets and removed a photograph which he handed to Lily. A large motorcycle on which Sirius sat, gripping the handlebars and grinning, gleamed in the sunlight. In the background was a tall, unstable-looking building--a house--with several little red-haired boys’ faces pressed against the first-floor windows, craning for a good view of the bike. They’d shove each other about when one took up too much space and Sirius would glance over his shoulder and laugh. He smiled and waved at Lily when he saw her. 

Real-life Sirius grinned. “What do you think, Lily?”�

“A motorbike,”� she said flatly. “You bought a flying motorbike. Illegally, I might add!”� 

James choked on his juice. “A _flying motorbike_?”� He snatched the picture from Lily. His eyes wandered in awe over the image; Lily rolled hers. Remus and Peter stretched their necks and wriggled in their chairs, trying to see the photograph from across the table. 

“Padfoot,”� beamed James, handing the photograph to Remus, “that bike is wicked. Do you have it already?”�

Sirius grinned again, wider. “Got it last night. I was going to ask you to come see it at my flat, but you were... _occupied_.”�

James and Lily made brief, embarrassed eye contact. Remus and Peter exchanged raised eyebrows. Lily expected a disgusted comment from Dinah’s end of the table, but it didn’t come. Her eyes flickered over Dinah’s empty chair and she rose to her feet in a flash, startling the others and nearly overturning her chair. 

“Dinah’s gone!”� she cried. 

“Calm down, Lily,”� implored James. “She’s still inside.”�

“How do you know?”�

“Mum would never let her roam around outside on her own, and she’d have to pass by her to get to the backyard. Mum and Dad sit together and read the paper on the porch every morning.”�

Still, Lily’s newly-acquired mother instincts begged her to be sure of Dinah’s safety. “I’m going to check.”�

James pushed his chair from the table. “I’ll come with you.”�

“You don’t have to,”� blurted Lily, waving her hand dismissively. “Your friends are here.”�

Peter stood as well and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “I have to go anyway. Lost track of time. Dad’s waiting for me at Mungo’s to visit Mum.”� He had only lied by omission. He _was_ going to visit his mother in the hospital, but afterwards he’d make up an excuse to leave and rush home to owl Maison Serpent; he needed to inform Voldemort that he had carried out his end of the plan. 

“See you later, then.”� “’Bye.”� “Tally-ho!”� “Laters.”�

“We’ll be back in a few minutes,”� said James to Remus and Sirius, and he left the room with Lily. 

Halfway down the hallway, James touched Lily’s arm and they stopped walking. She sank into his open arms and he drew her to his chest, inhaling the faint scent of hotel shampoo and soap that clung to her. 

Lily giggled. “I wondered why you wanted to come.”�

James chuckled, nuzzling her neck under her hair. He nibbled her warm skin with his lips and a sensual chill crept its way downward. 

“James,”� she moaned. 

He rested his forehead against hers, smiling, and rubbed the pad of his thumb over her cheek. His warm breath, dripping with desire, tickled her chin and neck. For the first time Lily could remember, she felt lustful. A powerful, heated emotion sprung up within her chest, spreading gradually throughout her body. It made her want to cling tightly to James, push herself as close to him as she could manage, meld their bodies. Her audacity came as a surprise, and he nearly laughed aloud from pure, startled joy when she sandwiched him between the wall and herself, trailing voracious kisses from his collarbone to his ear, at which she nipped playfully with her teeth. 

She was free of her fear, she ascertained, free as a swan glissading over a rippling pond, as an eagle soaring high above the mountaintops. There was, of course, no wind rushing through her ears and hair as the image came to her, but she wouldn’t have known. Lily would tell you that she _was_ the eagle gliding and dipping through the air, buffeted by a cooling wind, laughing as she went. The kind of laughter that warms you from your cheeks to your toes, brings tears to your eyes, and creates an all-over sensation of tingling, pulsating excitement, ecstasy, and avidity. Adrenaline filled her to the brim, coursed through her, empowered her. 

As her lips latched onto James’s, a sob forced its way from her throat, disguising itself in a sound resembling a laugh. Her overpowering emotion yelled for its release and beat against her ribcage, ensuing a feeling almost orgasmic in strength. She breathed heavily, a puzzled heave, urging each breath outward. She had never experienced such emotion. Never had she the desire to sob uncontrollably when she felt so light--so free! Perhaps it was nearly a year’s worth of bottled-up emotion pushing against the smothering door of its imprisonment. A person wasn’t built with the capacity to feel such vigorous emotion at once. 

“Lily!”� James took her face gingerly between his palms and brushed away her falling tears. She linked her arms around his neck and buried her face in its crook. 

“What’s wrong?”� asked James, soothingly rubbing her back. “Is it something I did?”� 

She shook her head and lifted it to look him in the eyes, a soft smile playing at her lips. “It’s over, James. The--the _curse_ is over.”� She hugged him tightly and pecked his cheek. James beamed and pulled her in for a second embrace. “I feel so... _liberated_!”� Her expression became serious. “I’m sorry about last year.”� She tottered on her feet, her nervous mannerism. “It’s not like I didn’t _want_ to talk to you; I was just so _paranoid_ about everyone. Like, er...who’s that Auror, again?”� A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Alastor Moody? He’s always on the alert for Dark wizards.”�

James smiled for an instant, then grasped Lily’s hands in his own, wearing a solemn expression. “I forgive you. It was my fault too, anyway. I should have tried to find out what was bothering you instead of getting angry each time you disappeared into a crowd.”�

She looped her arms loosely around his neck. “We have each other now.”�

He grinned. “We do.”�

A teeny Scops owl crashed into Lily’s head, intruding on their kiss. Its letter fell from its beak and it dove for it, but James got there first. 

“Load must’ve been too heavy,”� he mumbled. The owl hooted in annoyance, snapping at James’s fingers; he brushed it away and it landed on Lily’s forearm, clearly pissed.

Lily stroked its feathers. “How did the owl get inside?”�

James, who had been reading the envelope, pointed to an open half-circle above the front door where a window should have been. 

“It’s charmed. Only owls can pass through. Mum was ticked last time we had a delivery at a window; bird chipped the glass pecking at it with its beak. Receiving mail is much easier this way.”�

Lily peered curiously at the envelope. “Who’s that for?”�

“Doesn’t say. Probably Mum, though.”�

“Does it say who sent it?”�

“Nope. Only says ‘Here’s the file you were looking for. Hope it’s of help to you.’”�

Lily furrowed her brow. “On whom would your parents need a file?”�

James shrugged and stuck his finger underneath the flap. “Let’s find out.”�

The owl squawked and sliced James’s fingers with its desperate attempts to steal back the letter. Lily subdued it with a spell and together she and James read the file:

**Golly, Maynard**

**Full Name** : Maynard Alair Golly ( _Wzd. Dec._ )

**Ex-spouse** : Deirdre Nenet Elamain ( _Mgg. Dec._ )

{ _One child_ : Dinah [none] Elamain ( _Wtch._ )}

**Parentage** : Durand Leonard Golly ( _Wzd. Dec._ ), Juna Gwynifar Johnson ( _Wtch. Dec._ )

**(Former) Position of Employment** : Magizoologist under M.O.M. Dept. for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

**Minutiae** : Enjoyed watching Quidditch matches, growing gourds, researching exotic animals, and listening to the Beatles.

\-- _Team Leader_ : Project Sanare--E.A.

Team of Magizoologists arranged and employed by M.O.M. working to cure Pardus Morbis (“Leopard Sickness”�) in East African peoples. The team worked daily in the Nundu lab, experimenting with the virulent breath of the Nundu itself, an animal wreaking havoc in East African villages. 

_Team aim_ : to create a counter-potion for Pardus Morbis. 

Ministry officials terminated Project Sanare--E.A. just weeks after it began. Following the death of the team leader, team members grew wary of the project and no longer desired to participate. 

A handwritten note was attached to the back and Lily plucked it off and read it to James. 

“‘ _The Ministry’s report of the project doesn’t go much in-depth. They didn’t like the real reason Project Sanare--E.A. was called off, and therefore refused to add it to both Maynard Golly’s file and the file for the project itself. But I’ve spoken with a member of the team who knew more about the situation than the Ministry would like. Death Eaters murdered Maynard Golly. Possession of a powerful, deadly beast such as the Nundu appealed to Voldemort, and when Maynard refused to hand the creature over to them, they retaliated. One night after hours, they tampered with the supply of Nundu virus in the lab, filling the room with it. Of course, because he was the team leader, Maynard was the first to arrive the next morning. I’m sure you don’t need an explanation to guess what happened. Ministry surveillance equipment found his body the next morning, thankfully, before another team member entered the lab._

_The team member to whom I spoke overheard the Death Eaters’--two cleared Ministry employees--conversation with Mr. Golly. He assured me that if he had known that his team leader was in need of assistance, Maynard Golly would be alive today. The conversation, he said, ended on a disappointed though seemingly friendly note. Wasn’t the brightest fellow._   
_\--Albus Dumbledore_.’”�

Lily half-grinned, half-gaped at the letter. “Dinah’s a witch!”� 

James looked relieved. “Good thing. I dunno how I would’ve taken it if her Hogwarts letter never came.”�

“But why would your parents pull up a record on Dinah’s father?”� 

“They’re curious like that,”� he explained. “They did the same thing to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s parents when we first became friends.”�

Lily frowned. “You think they would’ve shown this to us if we hadn’t intercepted the owl?”�

“Probably,”� said James. “I mean, we _are_ her parents now.”�

Parents. The term sounded foreign when applied to her and James, especially as a unit. It made her feel grown-up to hear him refer to them as such. 

“I can’t believe her father was murdered,”� she commented after a moment’s pause. “I guess that’s another thing we have in common, Dinah and I--both of our fathers were murdered by Death Eaters.”�

James tipped her chin up, offering her a promising smile. “You’ve still got family, love. Your own--you’re lady of the house now.”� Lily smiled. “I’m sure your dad would want you to remember him happily; don’t cry.”�

“I wasn’t going to cry,”� replied Lily indignantly. Her eyes fell to the letter again. “Deirdre,”� she whispered, tracing the letters with her finger. “Her mother had such a lovely name.”�

“‘The sad one,’”� said James. “Her name means ‘the sad one.’”�

“Certainly fitting,”� conceded Lily. “Deirdre had a hard life. But it was her fault.”�

“What’d she do?”�

“ _She_ made the choice to use drugs, to date dead-beats, and to kick out her perfectly good husband....She killed herself as well, all because she spent herself into debt.”� 

“Dinah’s got a better home with us,”� said James. “Definitely.”�

“I do,”� came an attuning voice from the end of the hall. Dinah walked closer to Lily and James, Max-less for the first time since she’d rescued him. 

“Where have you been?”� asked Lily. “And where’s Max?”�

“He’s out in the garden,”� said Dinah, “playing with the gnomes.”� 

“You have gnomes in your garden?”� asked Lily keenly to James. 

“Dad tries to get rid of them, but they always come back no matter what he does. Mum’s threatening to borrow the neighbor’s Jarvey, but Dad thinks that’s too cruel.”�

“Can we go out back?”� asked Lily, grinning. 

“What’re you so keen on gnomes for?”�

“I like magical creatures,”� she enthused. “I don’t have gnomes in _my_ garden.”� The mention of creatures made her remember the owl and she tucked the letter back into its envelope, sealed it with a spell, and returned it to the harassed looking messenger. It dug its claws purposely into her arm as it took off. 

“Max likes to chase them,”� grinned Dinah. “Me and him chased them all around the garden.”�

“He and I,”� corrected Lily. Dinah rolled her eyes. 

“How ‘bout we all go out back, then?”� suggested James. “I’ll get Sirius and Remus and meet you two in a few minutes.”� 

“No brooms,”� Lily warned as she and Dinah set off down the hall. 

James grinned slyly at her over his shoulder. “We’ll see.”�

\- - - 

The letter was suspiciously absent from sight, Lily noticed, when she and Dinah entered the porch. Either Mr. or Mrs. Potter had probably hidden it at the sound of approaching footsteps. Snowflakes from the ceiling fan sprinkled over them as Mrs. Potter bid her good morning. 

“Good morning,”� she replied to both of them. 

Mr. Potter extended his hand. It was callused to the touch. “Gregory Potter. You must be the Lily Evans my son talks so much about.”� He sat back in his chair and surveyed her, as though checking for damages, over the rim of his glasses. “I’ve heard you’re raising Dinah with my son?”� 

Lily felt herself go festively red and started tottering. “H-he just...he’s helped me out by adopting her. I’m too young....”�

“Are you two, erm....?”� He cycled his hand, hoping she’d understand without his having to finish the sentence.

“Dating?”� she squeaked, hoping he meant dating. “Y-yes.”�

“You are?”� said Dinah, surprised. 

“You don’t have to be so nervous, dear.”� Mrs. Potter placed a hand on her arm, giving her a kind smile. “We’re glad to have you with us. James always speaks so well of you.”� 

Lily relaxed, some. “What does he say?”� 

Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchanged amused glances. “‘Lily’s _so_ wonderful, Mum!’”� mocked James’s father (good-naturedly) in falsetto. “‘She ate breakfast with me _twice_ last month, Mum! And I made her laugh! Oh, Mum, she’s _so_ gorgeous!’”� Lily went, if possible, redder. “‘Wait till you see her! Her hair’s just like yours and her eyes are as green as...oh, I dunno--something really green. You know what else, Mum? She came to my Quidditch matches _all season_! I was so surprised when she agreed to come! Mum, I _really_ like her!’”�

“He...said all that?”�

Mrs. Potter was still smiling. “Wrote it, actually. I don’t think I’ve received too many letters from him without your mention.”�

Lily hadn’t spoken of James to her family at all. Petunia could care less, anyway, and her rape had occurred before she ever thought of bringing James up to her parents. Though despite her rosy cheeks, Lily experienced a warm, cozy affection at learning how often she was mentioned in the Potter household. 

James, Remus, and Sirius appeared in the porch doorway wearing--to Lily’s great disappointment--Quidditch apparel. Remus directed a chunky wooden box into view with his wand; Lily knew it held a set of Quidditch balls. 

“James, my boy!”� said Mr. Potter with the kind of cheekily cheerful greeting that screams ‘We’ve just made a fool of you to your girl.’ “We were _just_ talking about you!”�

James went suddenly pink. “Were you?”� he responded, aiming for a casual tone. 

“We sure were,”� his mother chimed in, grinning. “We thought Lily should hear some of the wonderfully flattering things you’ve said about her in your letters.”�

James was now distinctly red. Remus and Sirius hid their snickers behind the floating Quidditch equipment. 

“How much did you tell her?”� he demanded. 

“Nearly all of it,”� declared Mr. Potter with a grin. “The particularly embarrassing bits, anyway.”�

“Wouldn’t you have rathered the baby books, love?”� teased Mrs. Potter. 

James growled in crimson frustration and marched from the porch into the spacious back yard. 

“Oh, he’s secretly glad we told you,”� whispered Mrs. Potter. “He’d probably be too shy to tell you those things on his own. He only likes pretending he’s cross with us.”�

“Budge along, Lily, love.”� Sirius, smirking, led her by the shoulders to the porch door. “It’s time to play Quidditch.”� 

The intensity of the sun’s gleam blinded Lily when she stepped outdoors and she held her hand like a visor against her forehead to lessen it. James squinted down at her from his seat on his broomstick twenty feet above them; the glint created by the sunlight reflecting on his glasses pained her eyes. 

“Get the brooms, will you, Padfoot,”� called James and he cut the distance between himself and the ground in half. 

“Aye, aye, captain,”� joked Sirius, saluting him, and he set off for the shed near Mrs. Potter’s garden of giant pumpkins.

“James,”� whined Lily. “I wanted to come out back to see the gnomes, not to play Quidditch!”� 

Remus clapped Lily on the shoulder. “They force me to play, as well. Don’t worry, I’ll help you out.”�

Lily smiled at him.

“Right, Moony--‘force you to play’!”� called James. “You always end up having fun.”�

Remus possessed far too much pride to admit this out loud. 

“Here you go!”� grinned Sirius, shoving brooms into the arms of Lily and Remus. Dinah looked disappointed not to be given her own. 

As Sirius swung his leg over his broom, James shouted, “Sirius! We don’t have nearly enough players! Get Dinah a broom!”� 

Dinah grinned, vowing to treat James just as nicely as Lily from now on. 

Once Dinah had a broom and was sitting wobbily atop it--Lily flinching every moment--they were ready to dish out the player positions. And by they, I mean James and Sirius. 

“Do we really have to play?”� tried Lily desperately once more. “There are some lovely gnomes right--”�

“Lily,”� James cut her off. “The nearest tree”�--he pointed to the forest some two hundred feet in the distance--“is over there. Just steer clear of them and cut the whining.”� He gave her a half-smile to show his jest. 

“He always gets like this when we let him be captain,”� hissed Remus to Lily. 

“How do I work this thing?”� asked Dinah, staring down at the broomstick as though it were a terribly complicated puzzle. 

Sirius swerved beside her. “Use the handle like a steering wheel.”� He grabbed onto hers. “Pressing downward”�--he demonstrated--“flies you to the ground. Pulling upward”�--he lifted the handle and she ‘oh!’ed in surprise--“brings you up. And side-to-side”�--he showed her and she giggled--“takes you left and right.”� 

Dinah tentatively tried what Sirius taught her, daring only to fly a few inches out of place. Lily smiled, basking in a proud-mother moment, and fleetingly wondered when she should tell Dinah about her being a witch. 

“All right.”� James clapped his hands, snapping not only Lily and the others but also himself out of a reverie. He’d been watching Dinah with the same pleased grin as Lily. “We’ll have a Keeper, two Chasers, a Seeker, and a Beater since we’re short on players. Obviously, we’re not playing for points or anything, just having a good time and converting Lily.”�

Lily harrumphed indignantly. 

“I’m one of the Chasers, of course.”� James fluttered his eyelashes and pretended to blush, playing up on the arrogant prat image Lily’d painted around him in fifth and sixth years. It was a running joke of theirs. 

“Me too,”� said Sirius. “I’m sick of being Beater.”�

Remus groaned. “What am I stuck with, then?”� 

“Depends,”� considered James. “Dinah can’t handle playing Beater; she’d get hurt. And she’s only just learning to fly; it wouldn’t do for her to play Seeker.”� 

“She’s Keeper, then,”� said Remus, nodding. “I want Seeker.”� 

Lily’s shoulders sagged. “But I wanted Seeker. The Bludgers...well...make me nervous.”� 

Remus sighed. “All right, all right. Beater again.”�

“So it’s settled,”� said James. He gestured toward the wooden box which now rested on the ground below. “Padfoot, if you would be so kind.”�

Sirius flew to the ground and leaned to unlock the box. He tossed Remus his Beater’s club and released the Snitch; it zipped off toward the forest and Lily swallowed anxiously. 

Mr. Potter exited the porch and walked to the open box. “I’ll release the Bludgers and toss the Quaffle,”� he said. 

Lily scampered, urging Dinah along with her, over to the middle of the yard, away from the incoming balls. She spotted the three tall goal rings in the distance and nudged Dinah. 

“Go on,”� she said, pointing to them. “You have to make sure neither Sirius nor James score.”�

“How do I do that?”� 

“Block the hoops,”� instructed Lily. “Fly in front of them and try to catch the Quaffle--the big red ball--when they throw it.”�

“Okay.”� Dinah, struggling a little, flew over to the hoops. 

“Are you all ready?”� bellowed Mr. Potter. 

A chorus of ‘yes’ answered him. Mr. Potter unlatched the Bludgers’ restraints, taking care to dart from their paths, and counted down from three before tossing the Quaffle high into the air. 

Sirius snagged it before it had a chance to fall and sped off toward the goal post. Lily saw Dinah’s eyes alight with terror, flicking around, unsure of what she should do. Lucky for her, James rammed into Sirius and the Quaffle tumbled from his arms; James dove and caught it in his own. Far off, near the edge of the forest, Lily saw Remus whack a Bludger in James’s direction, snickering to himself. 

Mr. Potter blew his whistle loudly. “FOUL! No blatching, James!”� 

James pulled his broom to a stop and tucked the Quaffle underneath his arm, rolling his eyes. “Dad, coach your own team. We’re playing our way.”�

Mr. Potter made a face at him, but his amusement showed nonetheless. “Fine,”� he said coolly. “Have it your way, _Captain_.”�

James stuck his tongue out at his father. Though he had his back turned to them as he meandered back to the porch, it was clear that Mr. Potter was laughing. 

“Resume play!”� shouted James to his ‘team’, ducking Remus’s Bludger just in time. Remus waved innocently at James from across the field and was given a rude hand gesture in return. 

Before he could register, James was less a Quaffle and swore as Sirius took off up the field. He followed him in hot pursuit. Because of Sirius’s considerable lead, he beat James to the hoops, tossing the Quaffle lightly because of Dinah; they were only competing against each other in possession of the Quaffle, otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to Dinah. 

“I caught it!”� shrieked Dinah, thoroughly surprised and pleased with herself. She held up her prize to show off. 

“Now toss it out again,”� ordered Sirius. “To me.”�

James crashed into him from the side, moving him back a few feet. “Don’t listen to him. Toss it to me.”� 

“Don’t toss it to either of them!”� cried Lily, hands cupped around her mouth. “They’re trying to trick you!”� 

Dinah threw it to her right where neither of the boys hovered, and it hurtled toward the ground. This time James caught it and rather than zip off to the goal posts, he swerved past Sirius, away from Dinah’s goal, preferring a game of Quaffle tag with his friend. Dinah used the opportunity to practice steering her broom near the goals.

Meanwhile, on Remus and Lily’s end of the field, not much was happening. She hadn’t seen sight of the Snitch since its release and settled for watching Remus smack the occasional passing Bludger at Sirius or James. 

“It’s really the only good thing about being Beater,”� he had told her. 

With a rushing excitement, Lily saw the Snitch circling Dinah’s broom handle as she tried to make a practice dive. Lily glanced at James and Sirius; they were deeply immersed in their own game of tag and weren’t paying anyone else the least amount of attention. Leaning forward, Lily sped off toward the goal posts, a glimmer of hope balling up in her chest. She could win!

She’d gained so much speed by the time she reached the area that she had to jerk the broom to a harsh halt not to crash into Dinah.

“Lily, you loon!”� she yelled, eyes wide. “You nearly killed me!”� 

She was about to say, “Don’t speak to your mother that way,”� but the Snitch flew right in front of her face and she swiped it up. Remus whooped in the distance. 

Grinning, Lily took out her wand and set up sparks to lure James and Sirius’s attention. 

“What?”� they hollered together.

“I’ve got it!”� Lily waved the Snitch high in the air. “I’ve got the Snitch! I win!”�

O O O


	15. Quality Time

**Author’s Note** : Finally this comes! And Kitty thought I left Dinah out in the last couple chapters on accident. 

**Dedications** : Meow!

To Kitty, my wonderful friend. 

**Chapter 14** : Quality Time

Lily’s excitement at upstaging the boys at Quidditch morphed into anxiety when the Potters called her and James inside for a chat, sober expressions on their faces. Sirius even let up his giddy, childish attitude, appearing a little anxious himself as well as curious. Remus flew in from the perimeter of the forest when he saw Lily and James dismount, and Sirius signaled to him not to follow the pair to the ground. They moved to busy Dinah with flying lessons before she tried following them too. 

Lily glimpsed them through the porch screens before she stepped inside the living room, creating a blockade around the child with their brooms. They were telling her something to wipe the worried expression from her face. 

This must be an important conversation, Lily mused, if Sirius and Remus were going to such lengths to ensure their privacy. 

James and Lily sat side by side on the love seat across from the couch on which Mr. and Mrs. Potter placed themselves. For the first time, the moving pictures on the walls caught Lily’s eye. They were mostly of James as a child, and all were of the Potter family. Some were of James with his mother, doting him, as any mother would; others were of Mr. and Mrs. Potter looking considerably younger (Erin might not have even been Mrs. Potter yet); and two showed another couple, a black-haired woman and a blond man. In one they were young, probably not much older than Lily and James, but in the other they were much older--more so than James’s parents. They held a tiny bundle of blankets on their laps. Pudgy little arms waved up at them from the bundle and the woman took one of the baby’s hands in her own to kiss it. The man only smiled down at the infant, a knowing smile, as though he’d raised the child before. 

“My parents,”� said Mr. Potter, following her gaze. Lily was well-acquainted with his tone of voice; the same one she used to speak of her own parents. Soft, nostalgic, wistful, melancholy--she knew they were dead. “They’re with James there. They...passed away not long after.”�

Lily was curious as to why, but felt it impolite to inquire. She bowed her head and nodded, memories of her parents sweeping over her. She said nothing to Mr. Potter, but she knew he understood. 

“What is it you want to talk to us about?”� asked James. His voice crackled as though he hadn’t spoken in a while. Lily felt guilty for inadvertently reminding the Potters of their losses. 

The mournful air swept from the room immediately. Mr. Potter set the morning paper on the glass topped coffee table between them and leaned back against the couch cushions, observing the teens over his steepled fingers. 

“We want to speak to you both about Dinah,”� said Mrs. Potter, and she glanced over her shoulder out of habit, checking to see if Dinah was nearby. She didn’t speak again for several moments; she seemed to be deciding the best way to word what she needed to say. “You two need to... _bond_ with her.”� 

This statement took Lily aback. She thought she and Dinah had bonded splendidly during the time they had spent together. Hadn’t the child told her she loved her? Hadn’t she _wanted_ Lily to adopt her?

Mrs. Potter noted her expression and added, “I know she was with you before you met up with James, Lily, but bonding with your child takes much longer than a couple of days.”� Lily said nothing, though she admitted to herself that Mrs. Potter was right.

“I tucked her in last night,”� ventured James, wanting some credit. “And woke her up this morning. We’ve bonded some.”�

His father cocked an eyebrow. “Tucking a child in is a very small step toward bonding.”� James flushed. “You’ve spent _far_ more time with Lily and your friends since you’ve come home than you have with Dinah. I imagine she feels very left out.”�

Lily thought of the scared, worried expression on Dinah’s face as Sirius and Remus rushed to keep her airborne. She also remembered the child’s determination to stay up and wait for Lily’s return the night before, and how she had gone to James’s room instead. Mr. Potter’s words were enough guilt for James. They both felt like horrible parents. 

“We don’t mean to make you feel badly,”� Mrs. Potter rushed to say. “Though...judging by your expressions, we have.”� She sighed, feeling badly herself. “We only want to stress how important it is that you spend time with Dinah. As much time as possible. You’re already acquainted with your friends--you’ve spent years with them. It’s Dinah’s turn for your attentions. She’s your child now. Don’t you want to know her well?”�

“I hadn’t even realized how often we deserted Dinah,”� said James apologetically. “I was too immersed in other things.”� He stared shamefully at his knees. 

“Dinah is your number one concern now,”� said Mr. Potter. “Lily too. They’re your family. You’re going to have to sacrifice some things for them, and these sacrifices occur often. Sirius, Remus, and Peter will have to go out on their own some nights. You’ll have to say no to a few Quidditch matches. And you might not get your first pick in everything.”� He threw a teasing sideways glance at his wife. “Actually, your mother makes _most_ of the decisions around here.”�

“For good reason,”� Mrs. Potter teased back, smiling.

Lily grinned at James. “That’s right. The pants are mine now. But don’t worry; the skirt’s freed up.”�

He stuck his tongue out at her.

“You two don’t think we’ve been too--you know-- _parenty_ about this, do you?”� asked Mrs. Potter. “We really are just trying to give you advice.”�

Lily shook her head. “No. It’s great advice and we needed to hear it.”� 

Both of the Potters smiled, relieved. 

“It’s just...well, we don’t want to see her...erm....”� Mrs. Potter looked as though saying the word on her mind would be painful. 

“Neglected?”� tried Lily, feeling a sting in her chest at the word’s mention. 

Mrs. Potter nodded, avoiding eye contact. A heavy silence blanketed the room, allowing more time for Lily and James’s guilt to prick at them. 

“We know you’re new at this,”� said Mr. Potter, taking over for his wife; “we don’t expect you to be wonderful at the get-go. Admittedly, your mother and I weren’t the greatest of parents when you were first born, James.”� James met his mother’s guilty, embarrassed gaze. “We still wanted to go out with our friends and you spent many nights with your grandparents. 

“Well, one day we asked them to baby-sit when they had their own plans. Being selfish and young, we still tried to get them to watch you. That made my mother _furious_.”�

Lily tried to envision the sweet-looking woman in the pictures yelling at someone; it took much imagination. James’s father seemed unnerved enough at the argument’s mention, though; she must have been a sight to behold when infuriated. 

“She gave us quite the telling-off, but needless to say, it did us a lot of good. We didn’t go out with our friends for at least another three months, but we both had a very good relationship with you, and that was much more fulfilling.”�

James tried not to look too pleased at his father’s words, but his blush and half-hidden grin were visible to all. He turned to Lily. “We should take her somewhere special. Just the three of us. Any ideas?”� 

Lily suddenly remembered something Dinah had asked her before they summoned the Knight Bus. Her slight smile returned to her face.

“I might know a place she’d like,”� she replied slyly. 

\- - - 

Learning of the trip to Diagon Alley overjoyed Dinah. She shrieked with delight and threw her arms around the waists of Lily and James when they returned to the backyard bearing the news. Sirius and Remus didn’t mind at all being left behind. They were happy to see that James and Lily were finally taking steps toward becoming a real couple, as well as better parents to Dinah.

Before going down for breakfast they’d dressed, so they were ready in almost five minutes. Lily and Dinah met James in the hall outside his bedroom. Lily smiled reminiscently when she saw that he chose to wear his old school robes, as she had. A forgotten fact struck her then and she eyed Dinah’s clothing with apprehension; she couldn’t wear Muggle clothes in Diagon Alley. Certainly not presently, either, with all of the prejudice looming in the air. No, her attire wouldn’t do. But what else would she wear? Lily only owned robes in her size and she doubted James--who was noticeably taller than Lily--would be of help in that department either. 

Thankfully, Mrs. Potter flew to the rescue. Just as Lily noticed Dinah’s out-of-place day wear and thought of mentioning it to James, the familiar tap of Mrs. Potter’s shoes came from the bottom of the staircase, moving steadily nearer. Lily saw a blue item of clothing in her arms when she stepped into view. She looked down at Dinah from over the cloth. 

“Just as I suspected,”� she said, and held out what was now clearly a robe toward the child. “Here you go, Dinah. Slip it on over your clothes, dear.”�

Dinah did as she was told. The robe fit her nicely and complimented her azure eyes. It was on the plain side, but most children’s wizard wear was. It served its purpose--giving her a magical appearance. She’d blend in. 

“Do I look like a witch, Lily?”� said Dinah, grinning, and she spun to give Lily a full view. 

Awkwardness and guilt hindered Lily’s smile. Mrs. Potter was feeling it too; she shoved her hands in her pockets and became fidgety on her feet. James stared pointedly at the wall. 

Lily’s smile was pasted on. “You sure do,”� she told the joyous child, who grinned even wider at Lily’s praise. Lily promised herself she’d tell Dinah soon.

“Well, dear, here’s your Floo powder.”� Mrs. Potter shoved a half-full pouch into James’s hand, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else. “Have a good day.”� 

Within seconds, she disappeared down the staircase. James and Lily exchanged meaningful looks, but said nothing in Dinah’s presence. 

“What’s in the bag?”� Dinah poked it, testing its contents. 

James untied the cord and allowed her to peer inside. “Is it dirt?”� she asked, gazing up at him.

James smiled. “It’s Floo powder. We use it to travel through the fireplace.”�

Dinah looked fearful, but still interested in the concept. “The _fireplace_? We’re going _through_ the fireplace? Won’t we get burned?”� 

“The powder makes the flames safe,”� Lily explained. “You’ll get no more burned than you would in a field of daisies.”� 

Dinah wasn’t much reassured. 

Two minutes later, the three of them stood in the deserted living room (apparently, the Potters didn’t want to risk the topic of the file again) in front of a red brick fireplace. It wasn’t like Muggle fireplaces at all. Lily could have stood fully within it and her head would not have brushed its ceiling. 

“I’ll go first,”� volunteered James, placing his foot on the step leading up to the fireplace. “so Dinah can see what it’s like.”�

Lily nodded; she intended on traveling with Dinah. The thought of being separated from the child in crowded wizard streets terrified her. 

James dug his fist into the pouch and tossed the glittering powder among the flames. Dinah gasped as they turned green and doubled in height; she winced when James entered them. 

“See?”� His voice echoed off the interior. “I’m perfectly fine. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”�

“Put your hand in, Dinah, and see for yourself,”� urged Lily. It felt odd to give a child such instructions. She’d always been taught to stay _away_ from fire when she was younger. Dinah inched toward the crackling flames, arm extended, with James and Lily’s eyes on her. She made a swiping motion at the fire, as a cat would to a length of yarn, and her expression told that she was amazed to still _have_ an arm. 

“It feels like hot breath,”� said Dinah, eyes darting back and forth between them. 

“So you’re good now?”� asked James. The flames cast sinister shadows on his face. “Not scared?”�

Looking slightly unsure, Dinah nodded. 

“Good,”� replied James briskly. “The Leaky Cauldron!”�

He spun up the chimney and out of sight. 

“You’re coming with me, Lily?”� asked Dinah fearfully. “I don’t want to go alone.”�

“You won’t. I’m coming with you.”� The child appeared slightly less tense. 

Lily pulled her close and rubbed her back. “Calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, all right? I’ll hold your hand the whole way.”�

“Promise?”�

“Yes.”� Lily took her hand and they paused at the edge of the fireplace. Lily’s forehead was dotted with perspiration from the intense heat. 

“When we step in, I’ll nudge you and that’s the sign to yell out ‘the Leaky Cauldron!’ Do you understand, Dinah?”� 

“The Leaky Cauldron,”� repeated Dinah. “Yes.”�

“And put your hand in front of your mouth to keep away the ashes, but not so close that you muffle your destination.”�

“The Leaky Cauldron,”� repeated Dinah again, for clarification. 

“Right.”�

Gingerly, because Dinah was antsy about the new method of transportation, the pair stepped into the fireplace. It felt like a desert. The flames turned the atmosphere unbearably warm and dust from the Floo powder swirled about them, depositing itself in their pockets, on their clothes, and in their hair. Dinah uttered a choked cough as Lily nudged her. 

“The Leaky Cauldron!”� they yelled over the snap of the fire. 

Dinah screamed when the drain-like feeling took her over. She was scared she’d be sucked away from Lily and would land in a place where the fires weren’t so safe. She dug her fingers into Lily’s arm, a death grip. Lily hardly had time to cry out in pain before they were thrown from the fireplace into the dirty, cold lobby of the Leaky Cauldron. Lily managed to secure her balance before toppling into a large wooden table, but Dinah tripped on a protruding rock tile and stumbled to her knees, losing her vise-like grip on Lily’s arm. The latter rubbed the red mark she left. 

James, who was just as sooty and bedraggled as the girls, knelt to assist Dinah to her feet. They brushed at her robe, but it didn’t do much good; the dust and soot were deeply seeded. 

“Here.”� Lily took out her wand and muttered a few grooming spells. “Let me....”�

An assortment of magical folk (witches, wizards, warlocks, and hags) lounged around the Leaky Cauldron’s main first-story room. Nearly all of them were either drinking or smoking and several were enjoying both. Two groups had games going--exploding snap, a dangerous card game--and a few people were saying things like, “Oooh! _That_ was a close call!”� and “One more card and this pile’s history!”� Due to the lack of surveillance on the bartender’s part, there was even a bit of illegal business underway. How did Lily know? Why, Mundungus Fletcher was sitting in the middle of a small group looking shifty-eyed. He was many years older than her, but she’d heard of him from older students back at Hogwarts who dabbled in illegal trade. Mundungus was something of a hero to them.

Lily, who choked and coughed at the slightest trace of smoke, hurried Dinah through the crowd to a door in back through which they went alone; James had lingered to greet the old bartender, Tom, whom he apparently knew. 

They waited for James in a small, walled brick courtyard. Dinah bent to inspect a scuttling bug while Lily forced coughs to rid her insides of the disgusting smoke. James brought with him the rancid stench of old cigars when he rejoined them and Lily frowned. 

“Ugh. You smell disgusting, James! Why’d you hang around the bar?”� 

“Tom called me over. Wanted to talk with me about my dad’s last Quidditch match,”� explained James. “He was disappointed they lost.”�

“You still stink,”� chided Lily, and James frowned at her bluntness. “Take care of it, please.”� 

He growled something that sounded like, “Yes, mother,”� but heeded Lily’s command all the same. He didn’t want strangers giving him a repeat performance. Lily rolled her eyes and nudged Dinah along to the far wall across from the door. She searched for the brick she needed, but couldn’t remember if it was three across, four over, or four across, three over; it had been a while since her last trip to Diagon Alley. 

“What are you doing?”� asked Dinah. “Why are we in here?”� 

Lily had no time to answer. James, who was growing impatient-- _he_ knew the right brick--moved Lily aside and brought his wand to another brick entirely from Lily’s guesses. The wall began to peel apart, brick by brick, and Lily crossed her arms, annoyed with James. He turned to her as the last few bricks were disappearing (Dinah watched, wide-eyed and speechless), grinned, and slipped his arm inside her robes and around her waist, over the small of her back. He kissed her cheek and released her almost instantly because of Dinah’s insistent tugging on his arm. They started slowly up the lively street, leaving Lily both surprised and pleased with James. 

‘ _Well, it’s hard to stay annoyed with him when he does_ that,’ she thought, half-smiling. 

Lily took in her surroundings; she wanted to reacquaint herself with Diagon Alley. More people than she’d bothered to count milled about the main street, exiting and entering shops right and left. Many of them looked like parents of absent-minded children, rushing about to purchase forgotten items on a Hogwarts supply list. Lily found herself both startled and saddened when she realized that it was September first. The Hogwarts Express was probably hurtling toward Hogwarts at that very moment. She wished she were aboard it with her friends--and James--and that she hadn’t graduated last year. But Hogwarts still held an aura of foreboding, despite the fact that Lily possessed many cherished memories regarding her school. At times, when she pictured Hogwarts, she felt nauseous. She’d probably never fully overcome December eighth. Lily yearned to be with some of her old friends again, most of whom she probably would never see now they’d graduated. _They_ had known what they wanted to do and had gone off to complete their education. Lily had thought of career choices back in fifth year like the rest of her friends and had done a wonderful job of working through her classes during sixth year. Receiving the honor of Head Girl during the summer before her seventh year put the icing atop her scholarly cake, and she had been excited at the prospect of graduation; she’d wanted to go to Auror Training during the summer with her friends, maybe rent a flat, or even stay at home, if Petunia moved out....

Halfway through seventh year, though, she lost her drive. She didn’t care anymore if she made it to Auror training, or passed her classes, or died, even. She was that depressed. But after a few nearly robotic, dead months, she got a grip on herself. She felt immeasurably stupid for her behavior and her outright negligence to her studies, hygiene, and well-being. The first thing she remembered doing after her epiphany was taking a shower. A good, long, hot shower during which she thought of many things, first and foremost, Lucius Malfoy. He was no longer in Hogwarts--what did she have to fear? She had no reason to rush through the halls, glancing frequently over her shoulders as though being chased. And she thought of her school work. She finished, on average, half of her class work and one or two homework assignments a week. She decided that had to stop. From then on, she completed every single scrap of work the teachers dished out. That still hadn’t done her much good. She graduated with marks only slightly above average--not near enough to earn her a position in Auror training. Her dream went down the drain, along with all of her other career choices; they seemed silly and pointless to her, especially now. She wanted nothing more than to put a few Death Eaters in their places. The only substitute for an Auror that had drifted along since was ‘Mother’ but even at that she was proving incompetent, or so she thought. 

“Lily!”� cried James from several yards ahead of her. She spotted his black head among a thick crowd. 

Lily bumped into a man half her height when she’d backed up to have a better angle of spotting James. 

“Watch where you’re going!”� he yelled, shaking a bag at her that was wider than he. “You’ll kill a person that way!”� 

“Sorry,”� she mumbled, not feeling it at all after his rudeness. They both departed, he off to do who knew what and she to find James and Dinah. She found them standing beside the window of Eeylops Owl Emporium; Dinah watched the birds with great interest. Lily guessed she’d never seen a real owl before. 

She touched the child’s shoulder and grinned. “Don’t even think about it. You’ve already got Max, and I’m sure he’d treat an owl in much the same way as a gnome.”� 

Dinah, disappointed, stared longingly at the owls. 

“Oh, Lily, why can’t she have an owl?”� said James. He made for the entrance, but Lily yanked on his robe’s collar, bringing his ear to her mouth. 

“Buying her love is no good either, James,”� she hissed, then released him. “She’s _got_ a pet.”�

James shrugged half-heartedly, inwardly agreeing with her. Dinah was both surprised and put-out; Lily rarely refused her anything. 

“Ice cream, then?”� he said to Lily out of the corner of his mouth. Dinah heard him anyway and hoped Lily would accept the offer. Though James’s insistence on buying Dinah’s affections annoyed Lily, she did want ice cream. 

“Yes, all right,”� she agreed. 

Dinah grinned and allowed James to lead her across the walk to Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor with Lily, where he ordered them three large banana and strawberry sundaes with chopped almonds. Since it was too crowded to sit at the parlor and eat, they carried their treats with them and slurped while they walked. James and Lily gave Dinah a sort of tour of Diagon Alley, naming nearly every shop as they went by it. 

“...and that’s Madam Malkin’s place over there,”� said James, pointing at a shop with robed mannequins in the display window. “You’ll be going there to be fit for your own robes.”�

“Should we do that now, James?”� asked Lily. “Not for Hogwarts robes, of course, but in case we go out somewhere, you know.”� Dinah’s need of her own robes had already been proven to them.

They’d stopped a few feet from the front door. James paused to consider what Lily said and gave a nod after a moment. 

“Yeah, we should.”� He held his hand out for Dinah’s and they entered the shop. 

Twenty minutes, a fidgety fitting (“It tickles!”� Dinah had said, giggling while an annoyed Madam Malkin tried desperately to get the child’s measurements.), and several changes in design later, James and Lily were standing with Dinah at the counter of Madam Malkin’s to pay for her four sets of robes. Well, James was paying, anyway, and this made Lily feel badly. James may have been financially responsible for Dinah as well, but it seemed he made all of the purchases. All right, there was no way Lily could have paid for the robes, but that only stabbed even more at her pride. 

James noticed that something was bothering her as the cashier was boxing and bagging Dinah’s robes. It didn’t take him long to guess the nature of her problem. 

“Here,”� he whispered, and dumped a handful of coins into her pocket. “You keep that.”� He smiled at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. 

Lily was nearly in tears--happy tears, mind you. Hardly anyone ever treated her so nicely or did such thoughtful and caring things for her. Only a handful of names came to mind--mostly family. 

Was James family now?

The bell above the door jingled and they were out in the street. They had more than a dozen stores from which to choose, ranging from the Apothecary to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Lily had to force James with threats of hexes from the display window where he was nearly drooling over a model of a Nimbus 1000. 

“But, Lily!”� he spluttered, trying to wrench himself from her grip. “You don’t understand! That’s a _broomstick_! The world’s _fastest broomstick_!”� 

“I’m sure you’ll get over it, James,”� she said, grunting as she tugged at his robes; he was pulling eagerly toward the window. Dinah stood a few feet away, giggling at their behavior. 

“ _Tarantallegra_!”� Lily cried, releasing him and aiming her wand at his feet. James began a frenzied tap dance, drawing the eyes of chortling passers-by. This sent Dinah over the edge and she giggled uncontrollably behind her hands. 

“Lily!”� James shouted, barely managing to remain standing. “Take it off, NOW!”� 

She addressed him as she would a misbehaving child. “Are you going to stay away from Quality Quidditch Supplies?”� 

“No!”�

She sent a Stinging Hex at him; he yelped.

“Yes, yes--whatever, Lily,”� he snapped, nursing his wound. “Just take it _off_!”�

“ _Finite_.”�

James’s dance ceased and he leaned over to catch his breath, shooting Lily glares every few seconds. 

“Do it again, Lily!”� said Dinah, still giggling. James glared at her, too. 

“No...”� Lily grinned at James, who straightened up and was smoothing the ripples in his robes. “Once was enough for today.”�

“Which means”�--James turned to Dinah--“Lily wants to be kissed later, and she knows she’s pushed it.”� He grinned at Lily, who rolled her eyes; Dinah stuck her tongue out in disgust. 

“Can we go in there?”� Dinah pointed at Gambol and Jape’s, hoping to change the subject. James and Lily consented. On their way to the front door, James leaned over to Lily and whispered--this time in tones he made sure only she could hear--

“But you know I won’t say no to a good snog, no matter how much you’ve tortured me, right Lily?”� His hand made brief contact with a place to which his mother would have objected, and a blush colored Lily’s cheeks. 

“ _Not-in-public_!”� she hissed, scanning the area for eyes that may have wandered their way. 

“Why not, love?”� A clown erupted from a box above the door and cackled as they entered the joke shop. “The risk is what makes it more exciting.”�

“Yeah, well, contain your... _excitement_ ,”� said Lily, and snickered. “At least for now,”� she added in a whisper. 

“Stop telling secrets!”� ordered Dinah, stepping between them with her hands on her hips. 

“We weren’t telling secrets, Dinah,”� said James; Lily prayed he wouldn’t advertise their topic of discussion, especially to their daughter. “We were only talking about _this_!”�

At some point while responding to Dinah, James had removed a biting teakettle from the shelf behind him. He whipped it out from behind his back and Dinah screamed as it took a snap at her nose. 

“James!”� admonished Lily in exasperation, snatching the joke kettle from him. She replaced it on the shelf; it growled at her. “Stop acting like a child!”� 

James grinned at her, but it vanished when he noticed Dinah’s chilled expression. 

“What _was_ that?”� she asked. 

“A biting teakettle,”� declared James cheerfully. “Would you like one?”� 

Dinah’s eyes widened; she took several steps backward into a rack of strangling sweaters. Needless to say, the front sweater wrapped its sleeves around her neck. Lily shrieked along with Dinah and severed the sleeves before comforting her traumatized daughter. 

“Oi!”� yelled the man behind the counter. “You’ve got to pay for that, you know.”�

Lily muttered ‘Reparo’ and the sleeves restitched themselves like new. Dinah hid behind Lily. The man pursed his lip, but said nothing more, though his eyes followed them around the shop. 

James pulled Dinah to his side and leaned to kiss her cheek. “Sorry about the sweater”�--she glared at him--“ _and_ the teakettle. Do you forgive me?”� 

Dinah, who had been feigning interest in a bowl of exploding ink pellets, lobbed one at him. It popped open with a ‘snap!’ and stained the front of his robes. He gaped at her, open-mouthed, and stared at the huge stain in disbelief. 

“Now I forgive you,”� said Dinah, grinning cheekily at him. 

James couldn’t speak for astonishment. 

While Lily smiled indulgently at Dinah, she couldn’t help but think that she might not be such a failure of a mother after all. 

O O O


	16. The Second Letter

**Author’s Note** : All I have to say is: you guys will hate me by the end of the chapter.

**Dedications** : Again, I know.

My muse: I love you so much.

**Chapter 15** : The Second Letter

Peter made his second trip to Maison Serpent the same day Lily and James took Dinah to Diagon Alley. Shaking off his highly emotional father at St. Mungo’s had taken quite some time, as he insisted that Peter spend a good chunk of the day at his mother’s side, so it was nearing nighttime when he made his way to the spooky castle’s entrance. 

He’d barely crossed the threshold when someone yanked him by the back of his robes. That someone was Lucius and he’d chosen the same dark room as Bellatrix in which to pop up. 

“Pettigrew?”� Light from Lucius’s wand blinded Peter. “Good. So have you given her the potion?”� 

Peter pulled his robes from Lucius’s grip and made a show of smoothing them out with well-placed indignant glares at his fellow. “Yes. I slipped it into her juice this morning.”� 

Lucius grinned maliciously. With the wandlight casting shadows on his face, the grin scared Peter. He shivered, twitching in place. Lucius took no notice. 

“Just a few more hours, Pettigrew. I’ve only got a few hours left to wait now...”� His grin widened and a sadistic look overtook his eyes. 

“Will the Master be assisting you with your plan?”� asked Peter. He’d been wondering how exactly Lucius planned to pull off the ordeal. 

“Of course not,”� snapped Lucius, losing his zeal. “Our master has much more important things to deal with than _Mudbloods_. He’s generously granted me use of a cell, however, and of the lower level, as well.”� 

“Will you be the only one involved?”� questioned Peter further. He knew Lucius would probably chide him for his nosiness, but he couldn’t stifle his curiosity. 

“The only one really involved,”� replied Lucius importantly. “But I’m bringing backup along in case things get out of hand. This is doubtful, of course. She’ll hardly be able to make a move without my say.”� He gave a self-satisfied chuckle. “I think I’ll go and write a letter now. I’ve had such a long wait on it, after all...”�

Peter caught one more flash of Lucius’s twisted, maniacal grin in the dim light before he disappeared within the shadows of the hallway. 

Lucius’s plan, from the bits and pieces Peter had gathered from Bellatrix, sounded awful. Peter would never have wished that sort of torture on anyone. He wanted to help her, not because she was any friend of his, but because of the sheer inhumanity of what was going to take place. And while he couldn’t outright help Lily, he decided to offer her what little assistance he could manage. 

\- - - 

Back in Chatham, Lily,--who had no knowledge of the horrors yet to befall her--James, and Dinah were just arriving back home, laden with shopping bags. In addition to Dinah’s robes, they’d purchased bags full of sweets, several joke wands (with which Lily and James had been playing along the way), a self-dipping quill, the latest editions of both _Witch Weekly_ and _Quidditch Today_ , and a book entitled _An Introduction to the Magical World, For Children_ , which Dinah deemed a must-have. 

The Potters, again, were nowhere in sight upon their return, and the trio went upstairs without having bid them goodnight. The group separated in front of James’s room with the intention--on James and Lily’s part--of meeting up again later. 

Dinah skipped over to her and Lily’s bed and jumped among the covers. This hadn’t been wise, as Max was sleeping on the same covers and didn’t take well to his sudden awakening. 

“ _Ow_!”� cried Dinah, rubbing a red mark on her finger. “Lily! Max bit me!”� 

Lily chuckled, plopping the bags down on the dresser. “You shouldn’t have jumped on the bed.”�

Max hissed at Dinah in apparent agreement with Lily. Dinah hissed right back at him. 

“Bad kitty,”� she admonished, shaking a finger at him. “You don’t bite me! I could have let the mean crazy man chop you up, you know.”�

Lily laughed. “I would have saved him if you hadn’t.”� She walked to the edge of the bed and scratched Max underneath his chin while he purred. 

Dinah frowned and crossed her arms. “Why is he being nice to you? He’s supposed to like _me_ better! He’s my kitty!”� 

Lily slid into a sitting position on the bed and lifted Max into her lap. He nuzzled her robes. “Maybe he’d be nice to you, too, if you didn’t jump on him.”� 

“Can I have him back now, Lily?”� asked Dinah. She looked ready to spring and snatch him up at any moment. 

Lily smiled, rubbing the kitten’s ears. “Jealous?”� she asked. 

“Lily!”� whined Dinah, pounding her fists into the mattress in a very over-tired way. “He’s mine!”� She eyed the kitten, who was stretching leisurely while Lily rubbed his belly, with jealousy. 

“I’m the mother, and I can play with your cat if I want to,”� declared Lily, grinning at her. 

Dinah glared at her. “Fine! I’ll play with something of yours, then!”� She hopped from the bed and marched to the night stand. Lily turned to watch, amused; she was very much enjoying Dinah’s first hissy fit. 

Dinah appeared to be rummaging through something beneath the night stand. She emerged with a green book the size of a diary in her hand. It _was_ a diary--Mrs. Evans’s diary. 

Dinah stomped back over to Lily and waved the book in her face. “I’m going to read your book!”� She laid it on the bed and opened it roughly, flipping at random. Lily didn’t want her to damage her mother’s diary in her fury, so she set Max down and held her hand out toward Dinah. 

“I want my book.”�

Dinah stuck her tongue out at her in a most childish manner. “I knew it would make you mad, too.”� 

“Yeah, well I wasn’t being rough with your cat,”� snapped Lily, and she brushed Dinah away from the diary. She felt as though she was having a heart attack when she saw that Dinah had torn one of the pages. 

The child’s eyes grew wide and she backed away. Lily turned to the section with the ripped page and breathed with relief when she realized that the protruding bit wasn’t a torn page at all. It was a white envelope identical to the one holding Mrs. Evans’s letter. 

At first, she shrugged it off. The letter had just become wedged within the diary during all the jostling the bag had undergone. She pulled it out and went to her open duffel bag to replace both the letter and the diary, but when she pulled the flap open, she saw another white envelope nestled among the bag’s contents. She set the diary aside and reached for the other envelope. It, the one from the bag, had been opened before. Lily could see where she’d tucked the flap back in. 

What was in this second envelope? There was no clue; the envelope bore no markings. She warned herself not to get her hopes up. Her mother probably wrote the letter years ago. It wasn’t for her. 

However, she couldn’t shake the urge to open it. Fingers trembling, she slit the letter open. Dinah didn’t dare move or say a word. 

Lily frowned upon first seeing it. It was in her mother’s handwriting, all right, but it looked as though someone had tampered with it; many letters had been scratched out so that it read as so: 

Before sealing my ackage, I thought of anothe pice of adice that shuld offer yo: 

Sometime there are things in ife that require more examinaion han on passing glance o a quick read or their true meaning or purpose to be understod. 

Once, or pehaps twie, in your life tim you coul come in contct with a piece of writing that holds ore beneth the surface (ike facts) than the reader frst expected. 

If conceied writing such as I hav described isn’t exained, the things (nd people) we hold near and dear to our hearts mght be lot frever. 

Nobody wats omething lik that to happen. I’m sue a erson lik you would’t, righ?

“What’s that, Lily?”� asked Dinah timidly, taking a few steps toward the bed. She still worried she’d be yelled at. 

Lily continued to stare at the letter, pondering. Surely the letters hadn’t been marked out at _random_...

“Lily!”� came a cheerful voice from the doorway. Lily and Dinah turned their heads and saw James coming toward them, a spring in his step and a letter in his hand. He seemed not to notice Lily’s letter in his excitement, and knelt beside where she was kneeling. 

“Look,”� he whispered, tapping his letter, which he held in front of them. “It’s the file and Dumbledore’s note.”� Lily was in no mood to care about Maynard Golly’s file; she scowled, though James didn’t notice. “I knew my parents would give it to us. So, should we tell Din--”� 

She stomped on his foot to silence him and sat with her back against the side of the bed. James rubbed his bare, throbbing foot (Lily hadn’t yet removed her shoes) and snapped, 

“Just because you’ve got the painters in doesn’t mean you can--”�

Lily shoved her letter in his face, startling him out of speech. At such a short distance, the letter was blurred to James. He took it from her, held it at a visible distance, and began to read. Upon seeing the scratches-out, a faint line appeared between his eyebrows. 

“Lily, what _is_ this?”� He met her eyes. “Why’s it all marked on? Who sent it?”� 

“Nobody sent it,”� replied Lily. “I found it stuck between the pages of my mother’s diary.”� James looked even more confused and Lily pulled the green diary, along with her mother’s other letter, from her duffel bag. 

“What’s _that_ letter?”� he asked, pointing at the other envelope. 

“My mother’s first letter to me. I received it after she died,”� she explained. 

“Can I see it?”� He extended his hand toward her. 

“Yes, here.”� Lily removed the letter from its envelope and passed it to him. 

Because this letter was considerably longer than Mrs. Evans’s first, James took a couple minutes more in reading it. His first facial reaction resulted from the first paragraph--in which Mrs. Evans mentioned the rape. James looked ready to break something. To the rest of the letter, he didn’t have much of a reaction. He only seemed to be taking in the letter’s contents. But after finishing, the crease between his eyebrows returned, and he stared at the letter as though it were praising the intelligence of a member of the Bush family. 

Lily leaned eagerly toward the letter. “What is it? What have you found out?”� She scanned over the letter as though expecting something new and interesting jumbled with her mother’s words. 

James tried several times to voice his exact thoughts on the letter, but found no way of doing this to suit his needs. He went for a more succinct approach, instead. 

“This...doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, love.”� 

“ _What_?”� Lily didn’t know exactly what she’d expected him to say, but telling her the letter didn’t make sense definitely wasn’t it. 

James held the letter at arm’s length and stared at it with the same expression he’d worn when trying to decide how to word his thoughts before. He knew exactly what to say in his head, but had trouble converting the ideas to speech. 

“Well, Lily...no offense to your mother, or anything, but I think she may have been a bit... _loony_.”� 

Lily was outraged. Her hands balled into fists and began to shake with repressed fury. Even Dinah, standing uncertainly in the corner, understood his mistake. 

“ _How_ ,”� Lily began, failing to keep her tone friendly, “in the _world_ did you come to _that_ conclusion?”� Although she was furious with James, she was close to tears at the same time. How _dare_ he insult her dead mother? All of her affection for James vanished. She wanted to beat him over the head with his broomstick. 

James appeared to think the answer was obvious. “It’s just...Dumbledore writes to her about your rape and she composes a letter speaking of her and your father’s deaths a week later? She’s even left you and your sister things.”� 

Lily was so suddenly confused she couldn’t process anything. “Well--”�

“And that’s not all,”� James continued. He held the letter so she could see and indicated the first paragraph. “When she wrote this, it was a week after your rape. Why would she have written a letter _then_ about dying?”� 

Lily struggled to defend her mother’s sanity. “M-maybe the news scared her into writing a will.”� 

James sighed, rolling his eyes. “Can’t you see it, Lily? There is something _very_ fishy about this letter.”� 

Lily snatched it from him, tearful and incensed. “There is _nothing_ fishy about a farewell letter!”� She smoothed out the creases in the paper, which she’d spread across her arched knees. 

Something else sparked in James’s memory. “Let me see that letter again.”� 

Lily pulled it out of his reach. “No. You’ll only mock my mother more.”� 

James sighed again. “I’m sorry I called your mother a loon. Now can I have the letter?”� He reached for it. 

Lily pulled it farther from his reach. “That was not sincere.”�

James’s eyebrows came together in annoyance and he leaned over her to snatch the letter away; Lily cried out in outrage. 

“Stop acting like a child,”� he chided before looking to the bottom of the page. He smiled proudly when he found what he was looking for. “You found the second letter inside of the green diary, right?”� 

Lily furrowed her brow, forgetting her anger for the moment. “Yes...and?”� 

James continued to stare at the bottom of the letter, grinning. “I take back what I said about your mother, Lily. She wasn’t loony at all. In fact, she was quite brilliant.”� 

James had succeeded in puzzling Lily further. “What in Merlin’s name are you going on about?”� 

“Well, Lily”�--James gestured to the letter, alight with pride--“it says right here, plain as parchment ‘look to my diaries-- _especially the green one_.’”�

Lily tugged the page in her direction to double check. This still didn’t do much for her. 

“That other letter tells me _nothing_.”� She looked up at his grinning face, trying to discern a meaning. 

James mock tutted. “Lily, Lily, Lily”�--she noticed he seemed to think this all to be a clever game at which he was quickly gaining points--“have you never studied cryptology? This letter is _very_ important.”� He gestured to the second letter. “See, the first letter points to the second; it tells you where to find it. I expect she only included the loony business with the dates to catch your attention.”�

“My mother was no cryptologist,”� objected Lily. “You’re reading too much in to this.”�

He arched his eyebrows, amused. “Am I?”� He picked up the second letter and held it between them. “If you ignore all of the scribbles, the letter’s got a very important message. It’s saying that reading in to things”�--he nudged her pointedly with his elbow--“is essential, otherwise you could lose things that’re very important to you.”� 

“Like what?”� replied Lily bitterly, folding her arms. “What more am I going to lose?”� 

James kissed her cheek unexpectedly, lifting her mood somewhat. “I think we should take a closer look at the letters she’s marked out. They seem to be intentional.”� 

Lily leaned to pull a pen from her duffel bag. “We can fill in the blanks as we go,”� she explained. 

James nodded his approval. “Good thinking.”� He cleared his throat. “All right, the first scribble is in front of ‘ackage’.”� 

“Package,”� aid Lily at once, marking a ‘p’ above the scribble. “The diaries were in a box.”� 

“And the second”�--he took the pen from her hand and set the tip to the paper--“is ‘another’ rather than ‘anothe’.”� He wrote an ‘r’ above the second scribble. 

“The third is ‘piece’,”� said Lily, growing excited. “Mark an ‘e’. Then ‘advice’; that’s a ‘v’.”� 

“I know, Lily, I know,”� he mumbled, filling in the letters.

They went through the entire letter guessing at the incomplete words and filling in the scribbles. The letter, now whole, read as follows:

Before sealing my package, I thought of another piece of advice I should offer you: 

Sometimes there are things in life that require more examination than one passing glance or a quick read for their true meaning to be understood. 

Once--or perhaps twice--in your life time you could come in contact with a piece of writing that holds more beneath the surface (like facts) than the reader first expected. 

If conceived writing such as I have described isn’t examined, the things (and people) we hold near and dear to our hearts might be lost forever. 

Nobody wants something like that to happen. I’m sure a person like you wouldn’t, right? 

James had been right. Mere minutes before, she’d put his theory down as ludicrous, but after reading the letter properly, her mother’s true meaning became startlingly clear. Lily couldn’t believe she’d put such little thought into reading her mother’s original letter the first time through. It only happened because she was distraught; she would have noticed the letter’s oddity right off, otherwise. She was sure of it. 

Mrs. Evans hadn’t bothered to conceal much in her second letter to her younger daughter. The whole thing was a big, flashing banner advertising a very obvious meaning. However, the meaning, though so straightforward, made Lily skeptical. Reading her meaning was like learning, as a child, that Santa Claus is a cruel creation of adults. Only much, much more shocking. 

She gazed down at the collection of filled in letters above the scribbles and many things happened at once. A feeling similar to a chill on a warm summer’s day engulfed her. Her heart began to beat alarmingly fast. Her palms started sweating. Then, as sudden as the lunge of a cobra, dizziness overtook her and the rough message swept through her mind before she passed out. 

previous letter forced am alive maison serpent

O O O


	17. A Faux Eavesdropping

**Dedications** : Uh, right.

My freaky dream: This has never happened before. But I liked it.

**Chapter 16** : A Faux Eavesdropping 

Lily awoke a few minutes later with her head in James’s lap and a cool, wet cloth on her forehead. She stared up at him, blinking against what seemed to her bright light, and rubbed her tired eyes. She noticed Dinah sitting cross-legged beside them before James leaned to kiss her cheek, moving the cloth to the floor behind her head. He cupped her face with his warm hand, staring down at her with mingled concern and relief. 

“I was worried about you,”� he said softly, without breaking eye contact. “I--I know the letter must’ve shocked you....”�

Lily started to sit up, but a sharp, stinging pain on the back of her head made itself known and she flinched, her hand flying instinctively to the spot; her fingers ran over a small, painful bump. 

“Oh,”� said James heavily, realizing the source of her pain. “Yeah...you really clonked the floor.”� 

Lily scowled, wincing as the bump twinged again. “Thanks for breaking my fall,”� she griped. 

James went pink. “I tried, but it happened so quickly....”� 

She waved a hand dismissively, the other clutching the back of her head. “Forget about it.”� She shut her eyes tightly, in agony over her bump and sudden headache. 

“Lily?”� said Dinah, her voice almost a whisper after her long silence. 

“Hmm?”� Lily’s eyes remained closed and she had a go at massaging her temples, hoping this would help to cure some of the pain. 

“Is the letter telling the truth? James told me it says...your mother’s alive.”� 

Lily felt as though she’d entered a freezer when Dinah brought back the memory of the coded letter. She hadn’t had much time to mull it over before; the very idea that one of her parents could still be alive had shocked her into a faint. She felt her heart begin to beat faster again and her palms start to sweat. She wanted to believe the letter; she missed her mother terribly. But who would force Mrs. Evans to write a departure letter? And what was maison serpent?

“I don’t know, love,”� she confessed, suddenly bordering on tears. She wiped a small trickle from one of her eyes and continued in a wistful whisper, “Wouldn’t it be lovely, though, Dinah? You could meet your grandmum.”� An image of Mrs. Evans embracing and doting Dinah popped into Lily’s head and several tears leaked out of her eyes. 

“Don’t cry,”� said Dinah, scooting closer to Lily. She reached toward Lily’s face and wiped a few of her tears away. Adopting an unexpectedly reassuring expression, she took one of Lily’s hands in both of hers. “You’ll get your mother back. I got one, didn’t I? You were in the orphanage, too.”�

Lily smiled at Dinah’s logic, giving a watery chuckle. “I hope you’re right. Only...I don’t call my mum ‘mother’ like you do. I call her Mummy.”�

“You do?”� asked James and Dinah at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled at the coincidence. 

“Of course!”� replied Lily, smiling though she sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Don’t you? She liked for us to call her Mummy because she said it kept us young. We both called her Mummy, Petunia and I.”� 

Dinah, who had been contemplating her clasped hands in her lap, asked, “Would you like me to call you Mummy, too, Lily?”� 

Replacing the icy cold, tingling shock came a warmer feeling, as though Lily were bundled in her bed. 

“Only if you want to,”� she said with her slight smile. 

An almost surprised-looking grin crept over Dinah’s lips. “I do want to,”� she said eagerly.

“Why didn’t you before, then?”� wondered Lily, a tad put out at the missed opportunities. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to.”� Dinah’s smile disappeared, leaving her rather tense in appearance. “I’m not your real baby.”�

Lily’s insides felt weighted down and another shock coursed through her, this one less severe. Experiencing immense sympathy for the sad-looking child in front of her, Lily pulled her into an embrace and kissed her forehead. 

“What does it matter if we’re not related by blood?”� said Lily, looking Dinah in her bright blue eyes. “I love you just as much as I would any biological child of mine.”� Dinah grinned, significantly more cheerful, and stared at Lily with great affection. The latter, wanting the child to know precisely the extent of her importance, added, “You’re the most important person in my life, you know that?”� 

Dinah didn’t move for a moment. She held Lily’s gaze with her mouth slightly parted, too touched to speak. Beside her, Lily thought she saw James’s face darken momentarily. 

“Am I really?”� she breathed, eyes a fraction wider. An amazed and hopeful smile began to appear. 

Lily felt an emotional lump rising in her throat and her eyes glistened with wetness when she replied, smiling, “You most certainly are. So no more talk of you not being my real baby; you’re very much my baby.”� 

Lily had expected Dinah to be much more pleased than she looked at this statement. “I’ll be _your_ baby,”� agreed the child. “But I’m _not_ a baby...Mummy.”� 

They, as well as James, who was smiling along with them, grinned at Dinah’s use of the word. 

“Oh, yes you are,”� said Lily, laughing with a similar lightness to that of the morning’s. She pulled Dinah close again and kissed the top of her head. 

“If I’m _your_ baby,”� said Dinah, making herself comfortable in Lily’s lap, “then you’re James’s baby, Mummy.”� Lily felt proud and loved at hearing the term again, and understood her own mother’s love for it. 

“James’s baby?”� Lily repeated, glancing at him and back to the child in confusion. “What do you mean?”�

“He always hugs and kisses you, and he’s bigger than you are, too. Plus, I saw him give you money; that means he takes care of you.”� 

The child’s observance impressed the two, and for a moment their thoughts drifted entirely from the message. 

“I suppose you could say that,”� conceded James, smiling thoughtfully. He placed a hand on Lily’s knee. “But it’s a bit different with us.”�

“Because you want to marry her, right?”� asked Dinah, half-smiling. Blushes ensued from her adoptive parents. Lily busied herself with a lock of her hair, bracing herself for James’s reply. 

What he said, however, did not answer Dinah’s question. 

“Ready to discuss the letter, Lily? You are feeling better, aren’t you?”� He checked her over at a glance, making sure she’d recovered from her faint.

Lily came back from her blissful, loving, motherly side-trip and a weighty feeling filled her stomach. She swallowed, moistening her dry throat. “Yes...if you are.”�

He didn’t respond right away. His gaze fixed absently on the far window, Lily guessed he was choosing which of his questions to ask first. 

“Are we dealing with a Muggle situation? Did your parents-- _wait a second_.”� He snatched the letter from the floor, brow furrowed with both worry and puzzlement. “Maison Serpent,”� read James slowly and deliberately. “I know that name...”�

Lily blinked, startled. “Do you? Where from? It has something to do with the Death Eaters, doesn’t it?”� 

James stared at her, taken aback and somewhat impressed. “How did you--? Not many people know that....”�

“My parents were supposedly killed by them...I just figured....”� muttered Lily. “Where did you hear the term?”� 

“At the Ministry one day when I went to work with Mum. I heard her talking about it with the other Wizengamot members...Lily, you’d better hope your mum’s not there.”�

Better anywhere alive than dead, right? she told herself. “Why?”�

“That’s where Voldemort is rumored to live,”� explained James grimly. 

Lily had guessed as much, but that didn’t stop the chill going down her back. “I just don’t understand this whole ordeal,”� she said, feeling miserable. “Why would the Death Eaters set my third floor on fire and leave their mark only to kidnap one of my parents? What are they on about?”� 

James’s forehead crinkled. “Set your house on fire? That doesn’t sound like something they’d do. I’d say they’ve got something else planned for your mum.”� 

“Why set the house on fire, then?”� 

“To cause you additional grief, probably,”� suggested James, sending another wave of misery through Lily’s chest. “Do a bit of damage, as well.”� 

Lily sat in thought for a moment or two, her face impassive. “Where is this Maison Serpent?”� she asked suddenly, sounding startlingly determined. 

“It’s some huge castle in Albania,”� said James. “That’s all I know.”� 

“You’ve got to know more than that!”� exclaimed Lily, a note of hysteria in her voice. “My Mum could be dying right now!”� 

James shook his head in protest. “She isn’t. Whatever they’re planning, it’s going to involve you, too. They’re probably working out some way to bring you there.”� 

Lily gasped, remembering the dinner in Little Whinging. “Rookwood! He must’ve been tailing me!”� At James’s confounded expression, she added, “I saw him watching me when I stepped outside the restaurant that night in Little Whinging. Oh, Merlin, I was so _stupid_ , James! I should’ve told you, but I worried you’d think I was being silly...oh, it’s so clear now--this _must_ have something to do with Malfoy.”� 

James’s expression hardened, his eyes narrowing. “Malfoy,”� he muttered contemptuously. “You’re probably right, Lily. Dirty, rotten Death Eater scum he is, and he’s just the type to...we’ve got to leave right now.”� He got to his feet and checked his pocket for his wand. 

“But--”�

“There’s no way he’ll be expecting us this soon...none of them have tried anything yet, we’ll be early...we may be able to save her with our advantage, Lily....”� His eyes were alive and alert with strategies in the making. 

“But James,”� started Lily, helping Dinah to stand, “we have no idea where to go.”�

He raked his fingers through his hair, eyes darting around the room beneath his silver-rimmed glasses as though he expected an answer to lie on a shelf or the dresser. 

“Where are we going?”� asked Dinah in a yawn. She clung to Lily around her waist and leaned against her, eyes half-closed. 

“ _You_ are not going anywhere,”� said Lily sternly. “You’re going to get into bed and go to sleep.”�

“But Mummy, I want to go with you!”� she whined. “Please, can I go?”� 

“ _No_ ,”� said Lily more harshly than she’d meant to. “It’s too dangerous.”� 

The child’s eyes filled with tears. “But you’re going! And James is going!”� 

“That’s right, we are. We’re grown up and you’re not. You’d be killed if you went. Now put on your jim-jams and get into bed.”� Lily pointed toward the dresser. 

Complaining loudly about the situation’s unfairness and throwing in terms such as ‘big meanie’ to describe Lily, Dinah stomped to her dresser drawer, removed her pajamas, and stormed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

“Moody little thing, isn’t she?”� said James, almost grinning. 

“She’s overtired,”� Lily told him. “My sister used to storm about all the time when we were kids; it was just as funny as Dinah. Drove my mum up the wall, though.”� 

A noise from behind them stopped James from replying. Peter stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He was breathing heavily as though he’d run the whole way to Dinah and Lily’s room. 

“Peter?”� said James incredulously. “What on earth are you doing here?”� 

After a glance at Lily and Dinah, who had just exited the bathroom, sulking, he said, still panting, “No time--the pub, James, I was in the Hog’s Head drinking mead and I heard--Malfoy and his Death Eater friends, James--they’re--something awful’s going to--you’ve got to come with me--”�

“Come with you?”� said James, flustered. “Where? Did you hear the locatio--”�

“Yes, yes,”� said Peter in a hurry, his breathing calming down a bit, “that’s why you’ve got to come--your parents, Evans--we need to go right now--side-along Apparition--”�

“Wait a second,”� cut in Lily, flustered as well, “shouldn’t we take a moment to _think_ before rushing off? Shouldn’t we make sure we’re prepared? This isn’t some silly little duel we’re talking about--”�

“My shoes.”� James was staring at his bare feet which were half-hidden by the hem of his robes. “Back in a moment,”� he said, and rushed out of the room.

Lily used the time to check for her own wand and to ponder the usefulness of her various possessions. Nothing other than her wand seemed of much use. 

James stumbled back into the room, his feet entangled by his untied shoelaces. Irritated, he pointed his wand at the laces and snapped, “ _Tie_.”� They did so. Lily then noticed another striking feature of James’s appearance; bundled in his arms was a length of silvery grey fabric that, in some areas, rendered his arms invisible. 

“My invisibility cloak,”� explained James, following her questioning gaze. He jammed it into one of his robe pockets. “It’ll come in handy.”� 

Lily nodded in agreement. “I’ll bet.”� 

“Ready?”� inquired Peter from the doorway. 

“One moment.”� Lily turned to Dinah, who was sitting at the end of the bed, stroking Max’s fur. Without warning, she pulled the child into a hug and pecked her cheek. 

“I love you, Dinah. That’s why you can’t come with us.”�

Dinah was unmoved by this statement. “Are you going to be back in the morning?”� 

Lily hesitated. “I don’t know.”�

“Is your mother coming home with you?”� 

A tingling feeling ran down her arms. “I don’t know, Dinah.”� She kissed her forehead. “I hope so.”� 

“What do I tell James’s mother and daddy if you’re not back when I wake up?”�

“Tell them we’ve gone to my house for some of my forgotten things,”� said Lily. “And _don’t_ leave this house. You could be in danger. Don’t play with anything that looks dodgy, and _don’t go outdoors no matter what_.”�

Dinah frowned and crossed her arms, resuming her pout. “What am I supposed to do until you come home, then? I want to play outside.”� 

“Read your new book. Play with your cat. It won’t be too long...hopefully. Just listen to what I’ve told you, okay?”� 

The child sighed. “Okay.”�

Lily gave her another hug and kiss on the cheek. “See you later.”� 

“Bye,”� she muttered, still sulking. James leaned to hug and kiss her goodbye as well, and then he, Lily, and Peter stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind them. 

“What’s this place like, Peter?”� asked Lily in a whisper. “Are you sure you’ve got the location right? My mum’s still alive, isn’t she?”� 

“Of course I’ve got it right,”� he snapped. “How many Maison Serpents do you think there are?”� 

Lily opened her mouth to retort, but James quieted her with a hand on her shoulder. 

“Let’s not fight, all right? We’re all on edge, but we’ve got to do this as a team; we don’t need to be arguing amongst ourselves.”� 

Peter and Lily looked on the verge of disagreeing , but decided to keep further bad-tempered remarks to themselves. 

“Right, then,”� said James, observing their cooperation. “Lily, take my arm”�--he offered it to her--“and I’ll take Peter’s. Be ready to take out your wand as soon as we arrive, both of you.”�

“Are we set, then?”� questioned Peter once they were all in place. 

“Yeah.”� “Yes.”� 

At this moment, Lily switched her grip from James’s arm to his waist, as she was terrified of Apparition, and pressed her face into his robes. 

She didn’t see Peter roll his eyes. 

The compressing feeling she was currently experiencing always terrified her, because any sort of encompassment brought back memories of the hour she’d spent shut in her sister’s toy chest when she was five, punishment from Petunia for tearing off the head of her doll when her sister didn’t allow her to play. 

But soon enough it was over and they were standing in a darkened forest with their wands out in front of them; they had sense enough not to cast light, and their eyes were adjusting rapidly as it was. 

“I knew you’d got it wrong,”� hissed Lily bad-temperedly to Peter, eyeing the surrounding trees in annoyance. “We’re in some forest! There’s no castle around!”� 

Peter, clearly impatient, pointed behind Lily toward a thinning area of trees. They were roughly forty feet away from the edge of the forest, where the trees met a beach and the black soil of the forest mingled with white sand. It didn’t occur to Lily or James to ask him how he knew about the forest. 

“You mean it’s on the beach?”� said James in disbelief. “Right where anyone could see?”� 

“You don’t think they might’ve hexed and charmed the area?”� said Peter mock thoughtfully, before he could stop himself. At their questioning looks, he turned a bit pink, shrugged, and mumbled, “It’s only common sense, isn’t it?”� 

James cast an odd look at Peter and said, “Well, let’s get a move on, shall we? We’re wasting our advantage.”� 

Grateful for the lack of crisp fallen leaves upon the forest floor, they walked to the very edge of the forest, halting at the sight of a massive castle in the distance. Lily made an unspoken connection to the sinister castles she’d seen as a child, the ones illustrating old Disney movies she’d once found so entertaining. There was no way any benign being could reside in such a building. Even the thick ivy covering the castle didn’t rob it of its fright; it appeared to be squeezing the walls. The size of the castle didn’t help much, either. Lily’s mother could be anywhere inside. It might take them days just to find her. 

Lily started to take a step onto the beach, but Peter yanked her back into the forest by her robes before her foot could meet the ground. 

“What did I tell you about the hexes?”� he said, frowning at her. “They’re all over the beach.”� 

“How would you know?”� Lily shot back at him angrily. James’s mouth formed a thin, tense line. He wasn’t happy that his companions were wasting time bickering. 

“Didn’t I say I heard Malfoy talking to his mates?”� snapped Peter. “I think they’d know a bit about the castle’s security, being Death Eaters, and all!”� He sounded a tad condescending, but neither Lily nor James gave that aspect of his tone a second thought. 

“How do we deactivate the hexes, then, Wormtail?”� asked James in an obvious attempt to alleviate the tension. “Where exactly are they?”� 

Peter glanced around nervously before answering, particularly at Maison Serpent; he leaned close to James and explained in a whisper, “It doesn’t matter where their precise locations are, really, because I heard Malfoy reminding one of them of the incantation that deactivates the whole lot of them.”� 

“Won’t someone inside the castle realize that the security’s missing?”� asked Lily in a much more pleasant tone than she’d been using with him. 

Peter paused, seemingly considering this. “I imagine it happens all the time, what with all the Death Eaters coming in and out. They probably won’t.”� 

“What’s the incantation, then?”� said James, once again displaying his eagerness to take full advantage of their extra time. 

Peter motioned for Lily and James to spread apart so he could stand between them with a full view of the beach. He swept his wand from left to right and said, “Erasum!”� 

They heard a series of faint pops over the beach and guessed, by Peter’s satisfied expression, that he’d succeeded in deactivating the hexes. 

“I’d wear the cloak while you’re walking, well, anywhere from now on,”� suggested Peter, gesturing to James’s pocket. “They’ll probably be watching for you. And mind your footprints, as well.”� 

While James pulled his invisibility cloak from his pocket, Lily continued interrogating Peter. 

“Anything else we ought to know?”� 

“Actually, there is, now that you mention it,”� said Peter. Lily silently thanked herself for her question; otherwise, she and James could’ve been lacking crucial information. “You don’t want to enter through the front. There’s a hidden entrance round back in the rock foundation. You’ve got to follow it around from that chunk over there”�--he pointed at a large bit of rock that touched the beach--”�and you’ll see a cluster that looks as if you could separate it. Tap it with your wand and say ‘dissendium.’ I don’t know where it’ll lead--Malfoy and his mates didn’t discuss it--but you can enter undetected that way. He--Malfoy, that is--was selecting back-up for their plan, and telling them how to get in ‘the quick way’ he called it.”�

“What are their plans, exactly?”� prompted James, looking full of adrenaline. “Did you hear?”� 

Peter hesitated. “No, they didn’t mention. They only said things about killings, that’s all I heard.”� 

Lily realized something then about the tone of Peter’s information sharing. “You’re not coming with us, are you?”� she asked. 

Peter appeared frightened at the idea. “Oh, no. Of course I’m not. Me, in _there_? No, I just wanted to pass on what I’d heard to you, Evans. Couldn’t bear the thought of you losing your parents...again.”� He sounded so convincingly sincere that Lily smiled at him, noticeably grateful for the first time that evening. 

She chuckled, sounding more anxious than amused. “Guess I’m lucky you fancied a mead this evening, huh?”� 

Peter smiled. “And that Malfoy and co. did, too.”�

“Well,”� said Lily awkwardly, extending her hand, “thanks very much, Peter.”� They shook hands and he nodded. 

“Don’t mention it.”� He took a few steps backward and tucked his wand back into his pocket. “Good luck.”�

He Disapparated. 

The absence of Peter brought in nasty feelings of dread and, in Lily’s case, a touch of nausea. They’d received their instructions and their path had been cleared; it was time to enter the castle. 

James swung the cloak over them, leaving a generous train under which Lily could remove their footprints without being seen. The walk to the edge of the beach was a long one, exacerbated by a smooth, limestone walkway leading to the castle’s entrance. It felt like a death march to Lily. They reached the foundation of rock surrounding the castle without any sign of movement from the surrounding beach or from the castle’s entrance. Peter’s advice had been right on target. 

James helped Lily up the steep, bumpy chunk of rock that formed a narrow walkway around the castle. Looking down at the shallow sea below them, Lily spotted two more unpleasant features of Maison Serpent, one significantly more gruesome than the other; tall, jagged rocks that would likely skewer anyone who happened to fall jutted upward from the sand and white, sickening dead bodies bobbed around just below the surface of the water, swaying with the waves. 

“Disgusting,”� remarked James, making a face at the Inferi. “Absolutely disgusting.”� 

“Terrifying, more like,”� said Lily, moving further from the edge of the pathway. 

“Not hardly,”� said James in protest. “You’ve just got to know how to fend them off. It’s simple, really, though not many people know the weakness of an Inferius.”�

“What is it, then?”� challenged Lily. 

“Fire,”� said James. “A simple ‘incendio’ usually does the trick.”�

“Oh, of course _you’d_ know the trick, James Potter,”� said Lily, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “Because you know absolutely _everything_ , don’t you?”� 

James stopped walking just as they were about to turn the corner to the back of the castle. He grinned at Lily and kissed her briefly on the mouth. “That’s right. I do.”� 

Lily rolled her eyes again, but with the addition of a smile. “Keep moving, James.”� 

They carefully edged their way around the corner. In back, the rock took on a form similar to that of the path’s beginning rather than the smooth finish of the walkway itself. Their walking area was significantly larger, at least four times the width of the path. Right away they spotted the rock formation Peter had mentioned; it was in the center of the cluster of rock, several inches higher than the surrounding stone. 

James stepped forward first, leading Lily to stand with him on the perimeter of the concealed entrance so the cloak would cover his wand. 

“Dissendium!”� he whispered, and the rock began to move apart.

O O O


	18. Imperio!

**Author’s Note** : A combination of inconveniences and not feeling up to writing is why this chapter was so long in coming. I also have a lot in my personal life I need to sort out, so don’t expect too much from me for a while. 

On a brighter note, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Festivus! (It’s tomorrow, you know!)

**Dedications** : Yay!

Amanda: You’ve never gotten a dedication before. Happy Festivus! (Who would leave a _pony_ country to come to a _non_ -pony country?)

My anti-biotics: I don’t feel so sick anymore!

**Chapter 17** : _Imperio_!

Peering down into the dark hole the rocks had revealed sent a chill down Lily’s back. Still hidden beneath James’s cloak, she took his hand and moved closer to him. 

“We’re going to, erm, test that first, aren’t we? We can’t just plunge ourselves in there. What if someone’s at the end of the chute, waiting....?”� She squeezed his hand, eyeing the hole warily. 

“I’ll test it,”� volunteered James, removing his hand from her grip. Lily’s eyes grew wide; she stopped him from moving nearer to the hole. 

“No! Use...a rock, or something,”� she suggested desperately. “I don’t want you to test it.”�

“We can’t use a rock,”� said James, sounding condescending. “It’ll make a racket. They’ll hear us. I’m testing it myself.”� He made another move toward the entrance.

“But--”�

“Be quiet,”� he hissed, turning his head in her direction; he looked annoyed. “This chute echoes.”� Lily watched him kneel down and inspect it while she tottered on her feet. It took her a moment to realize that he’d gone from under the cloak. She darted forward, the cloak swaying as she went, and placed her hands on one of the rocks beside the entrance. She looked first into the pitch black chute, then at the sloshing, enormous sea at her side, feeling chilly and alone. 

She closed her eyes and inhaled. “I can do this,”� she whispered. “It’s only a silly hole. My mum and James are down there...”� 

A nervous, fluttering feeling filled her as she swung her legs over the rim of the chute. She took off the cloak, not wanting to become entangled during her slide, balled it up, and tucked it away. Before she could ponder herself into a worse case of the nerves, she pushed off from the rim and allowed the chute to engulf her. 

The tunnel was cold, hard, smooth, and dark; the rocks had moved back into place after she entered. She kept quiet during her ride, remembering what James said about echoing. Lily’s journey through the tunnel was one of her most frightening experiences, because she couldn’t stop herself imagining horrible things waiting at the end. Suddenly, the chute leveled out and she toppled into a small, bare stone room. James helped Lily to her feet. 

“Are we in the dungeon?”� asked Lily, glancing around the room. She shivered. 

James nodded. “I think so. We’re deep underground.”� 

“My mum must be here, then. She’s a...prisoner.”� 

Their eyes met; Lily looked away instantly. 

“Come on,”� James whispered, slipping his hand into hers. “We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”�

Lily nodded without making eye contact. She drew the invisibility cloak from her pocket and tossed it over them. They walked to the tall, wooden door across the room, minding the train of the cloak’s hem. 

\- - - 

Not far from Lily and James, Peter lay, bruised and bloody, in a dark, dingy cell. Recovering from both the Imperius curse and a struggle with Lucius proved difficult, and Peter would have little memory of the incidents if Lucius hadn’t insisted upon recalling to Peter each unpleasant detail.

Why, he wondered, had so much misfortune come from his trying to help someone? Initially, Peter hadn’t intended on becoming as involved as he presently was in assisting Lily. He’d settled on something much smaller--the counter-potion that would return Lily her free will. But on his mission to recover it, something happened to change his mind. 

_Peter caught one more flash of Lucius’s twisted, maniacal grin in the dim light before he disappeared within the shadows of the hallway._

_It’s now or never, he told himself firmly._

_Pointing his wand at his feet, he muttered “Silencio!”� He tapped the ground with his shoes several times to test his spell. Then, once he was certain they would make no noise, he withdrew his invisibility cloak from his pocket and threw it on. Carefully, because the hallway was extremely dark, he began walking further into the castle. For a few minutes, he encountered no signs of life within the building. This, however, was normal; nobody regularly traversed the hallways. When the Death Eaters gathered for meetings, they Apparated directly into the main room._

_Near the end of the hallway, Peter found Lucius. He heard him before he saw him, his low voice drifting out of an open door._

_“--you will position yourself there, waiting for them,”� he was saying to a person Peter couldn’t see, indicating a location on a piece of parchment in his hand. Lucius stood with his back to the doorway, blocking the view Peter would have of his companion._

_“Then I bring them to you?”� asked a smooth female voice--Bellatrix._

_“Correct,”� replied Lucius, the excitement in his voice evident. “You won’t have to do much with Evans, just order her to follow you. Potter’s the challenge. He’ll be ready for an attack.”�_

_“I’ll catch him off-guard,”� Bellatrix assured him with great confidence. “Potter won’t know what hit him.”�_

_“Make sure he survives,”� Lucius ordered. “I want him to witness the main event.”� A malicious smile curled his lips._

_“I must say,”� Bellatrix began after a pause, “that your plan is falling marvelously into action. When you first came to me with the idea, I admit I thought it near impossible. Having Evans murder her own parents, I mean--”�_

_Clunk._

_Lucius and Bellatrix whirled around to find the door wide open. Immediately alarmed for the security of the plan, they dashed into the hallway, and when they found no one in sight, they began firing curses in all directions._

_It was only a matter of time before one of them struck Peter._

_Why did I have to stumble into the door? he demanded angrily of himself as he collided with the floor._

_“I heard something fall over there,”� said Bellatrix, indicating an area fifteen feet ahead._

_“I’ll investigate,”� said Lucius. Wand at the ready, he strode forward until he stepped upon a clump of Peter’s cloak. He bent down, gathered the fabric in his hand, and yanked it upward._

_“Pettigrew?”� Lucius couldn’t help sounding surprised. “What were you doing spying on us?”� he barked, and kicked him in the stomach. Bellatrix came to stand beside them._

_Peter gasped for air. “I-wasn’t-spying-on-”� Lucius kicked him again._

_“Tell me the truth!”� he bellowed. “Unless you want to die!”�_

_Peter, struggling to breathe, surveyed the witch and wizard with their wands aimed directly at him. He saw no other option but to tell them the truth._

_“I-was-trying-to-find-a-counter-potion,”� he panted._

_“For what?”�_

_“The-potion-you-made-me-give-Evans.”� He burst into a coughing fit._

_“Why?”� questioned Bellatrix before Lucius could open his mouth. “Do you fancy her?”�_

_“Not at all,”� rasped Peter._

_“Then why assist her?”� probed Malfoy. “Why work against members of the group to which you’d pledged yourself faithful?”�_

_“You disgust me,”� Peter spat. “The both of you and your plan.”� Peter pondered what was causing him to speak so freely. He normally hid his true feelings regarding Lucius’s scheme._

_“_ Incarcerous _! Would you like me to kill him, Lucius?”� Bella asked._

_Lucius thought for a minute. “No. If Pettigrew wants to play the noble friend, he’ll play the noble friend.”�_

_Bellatrix frowned, confused. “Wh--”�_

_Lucius held up a hand to silence her. He vanished Peter’s bindings._

_“Stand up,”� commanded Lucius._

_With great difficulty, Peter pushed himself to his feet._

_“Imperio!”�_

_\- - -_

__“How many bloody twists and turns can one castle have?”� asked James to no one in particular when he and Lily came across what must have been their seventh dead-end. He slammed the door shut against the stone wall it concealed, and marched back up the corridor to take a right. Lily had to jog to keep up with his quick strides.

“You could slow down a bit, you know,”� she snapped. “Some of us would like to breathe.”� 

Taking another right, James responded, “Did we come through here before? This brick pattern looks familiar.”� 

Fed up, Lily grabbed hold of his arm and yanked him to a halt. “What is the matter with you?”� 

James removed his arm roughly from her grip. “I’m trying to help you save your mother. I may not be the most important person in your life, but I care about you and your family.”� 

His words stung Lily; she wished she hadn’t said that in front of James. 

“Look, James, I didn’t--”�

“Let’s keep moving,”� he interrupted, and continued walking, his back to her. 

“Are you going to be an arse about this always, now?”� asked Lily, nettled. 

“No,”� replied James, “because after this is over, I won’t be around to be an arse.”�

Lily stopped walking. “You can’t mean that. What brought this on?”�

James halted too and faced her. “During this walk, I’ve done some thinking. If I’m not that important to you, I’ll stay out of your way. You and Dinah would be happier without me, anyway.”�

“When did I ever say you weren’t important to me?”� asked Lily incredulously. “And why do you think we’d be happier without you?”� 

“She’s never hugged me, or offered to call me Daddy, or told me she loves me,”� said James fiercely, but his eyes gleamed. 

“Maybe because you’ve never really tried to be her father,”� Lily yelled. “You’ve never sat down with her and tried to have a real conversation. You’ve hardly asked her anything--what she likes to eat, or what’s her favorite color. I bet you don’t even know when her birthday is.”�

Lily expected for an instant that he might retort, but he let up his anger and calmed. 

“You’re right,”� he said. “I guess I expected her to love me instantly, like she loves you.”�

Lily stepped toward him and took his hand. “I’m sure she loves you, James,”� she said gently. “She wouldn’t want you to leave.”�

“What about you? Do you want me to leave?”� he asked. 

“Really, James,”� said Lily in exasperation, “if you can’t figure out the answer on your own...”�

“I want to hear it from you,”� he insisted. “Do you want me as part of your family?”�

“Of course I do,”� she said, wrapping him in a hug. She released him and made eye contact. “I misspoke earlier. Dinah isn’t the only extremely important person in my life.

You are too.”�

\- - -

Light flooded the sunflower-patterned room in which Dinah lay, staring out the window and stroking Max’s fur. She turned to see Sirius standing in the doorway, scouting the bedroom.

“Is James not in here?”� he asked. “His room was empty. Have you seen him? Wait--is Lily even in here?”�

“No,”� answered Dinah. She sat up. “They’re not at home right now.”�

“Dammit,”� muttered Sirius. “Every time I want to show him the bike....Where are they, do you know?”�

Dinah hesitated. Lily had told her to say that she and James had gone to her house for the rest of her possessions. But that was only if Mr. and Mrs. Potter asked her, right? Surely they wouldn’t mind if she told Sirius the truth. He was James’s best friend, after all.

“They went to a castle,”� she said. “A big castle in...Albania, I think. Peter went with them.”�

Sirius’s brow furrowed. “A castle? What in Merlin’s name did they go to a castle for? And without _me_? James knows it’s my dream to visit a castle!”�

While Sirius went on in indignation, Dinah fetched the two letters Lily and James left behind. Holding them out toward him, she said,

“I think you should read these.”�

O O O


End file.
